Love and Lies
by Amanda Marie Johnson
Summary: Elizabeth Summers just moved to Sunnydale from L.A. and she was less than thrilled until she met the love of her life, Spike. But unburied secrets cause rifts in this perfect relationship
1. How they met

Buffy opened her eyes sleepily. She looked out her bedroom window. She didn't want to get up. Today she would start a new school. She didn't want to start a new school. She wanted to move back to L.A. and bee with all of her friends.  
"Buffy, sweetie, are you awake, come on you're gonna be late" Buffy's mother said from downstairs.  
"I'm up mom," Buffy said. She got up and went to her closet. She didn't know what she would wear. She didn't know what the fashion was like her. She decided to wear what she would wear if she was in L.A. She chose a brown pair of pants and a blight blue spaghetti strapped tank top. She got out her brown boots and her brown leather jacket. After she got dressed and did her hair she went downstairs in the kitchen to where her mother was.  
"Hi honey, sleep well?" Joyce asked.  
"Yeah, fine" Buffy said and took a drink of her juice.  
Buffy's mom drove her to school and she walked up the pathway that led to inside. She read the sign on the front of the building that read Sunnydale high school Formatia trans sicere educatorum. Buffy walked into the school and into the main office where she had to get her schedule and sign in.  
"Hello, can I help you?" the secretary asked.  
"Uh, yeah, I'm Elizabeth Summers, I'm new here" Buffy said.  
"Okay, uh. . . let's see. . . oh here we are Elizabeth Summers" the secretary said and printed out her schedule and gave it to her. Buffy signed in and went to her first class.  
"Mrs. Tyke?" Buffy asked when she entered the room number that was posted on the piece of paper she held.  
"Yes?" the teacher asked.  
"Hi, I'm Elizabeth Summers" Buffy said.  
"Oh, right, okay come in" the teacher said and Buffy walked into the classroom. "Class this is Elizabeth Summers, do you like to be called by a nickname, Lizzie, Liz?"  
"Uh, yeah, Buffy" Buffy told her.  
"Okay, Buffy it is, you can take a seat next to. . ." she said as she looked at the empty seats. "William, William, raise your hand so Buffy can see you." William raised his hand and Buffy walked to the back of the room and sat next to him. He was really good looking with blue eyes and blonde hair and muscular arms. "All right, let's start class, um Buffy why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself."  
"Okay, uh I moved here from L.A. when my parents got divorced, and. . .I guess that's it" Buffy said uncomfortably.  
"All right, let's get to actual school work" she said and began teaching.  
"Hey, I'm Spike, my real name's William, but everyone calls me Spike" Spike told her with a heavy English accent.  
"Hi, Buffy" she said with a smile, at least someone wanted to talk to her.  
"I just wanted to warn you that this class is pitifully boring" he said.  
"Thanks" she said. Soon the class was over and the bell rang.  
"So, uh lunch. . . do you want to sit with me and my friends?" he asked her.  
"Sure" she said, now she had someone to sit with, this was turning out to be a good day.  
"Okay, well meet me at the cafeteria after this period all right" he said and then left. Buffy went to her next class, which was also quick and then she went to the cafeteria to meet Spike.  
". . .year, oh there she is" Spike said to someone and then waked up to Buffy.  
"Hey" Buffy greeted him.  
"Hey, all right, these are my friends, this is Cordelia, Xander, Willow and Oz" Spike said as he introduced her to everyone.  
"Hi" Buffy said. They all greeted her as well and they ate lunch. When the bell rang for the next period Buffy found out that that class was also with Spike. They walked together and also sat together.  
"So" he said to her. "Do you want to go out with me this weekend? I know we just met but, do you?"  
"Sure" she said with a smile. She couldn't believe he asked her out. She was so happy. 


	2. The movies

Friday night came slowly but surely. Buffy was so exited that she was going out with Spike. After school she got ready for their date. She looked in her closet and chose a black spaghetti strapped dress and her new back strapped high heals. She curled her hair and put on little makeup, but enough so that is was noticeable. Soon it was eight o'clock, the time Spike said he'd pick her up and the doorbell rang. Buffy's heart jumped at the sound. Although she was happy she was very nervous. Buffy's mom let him in and she could hear them talking downstairs. She grabbed her jacket and purse and went downstairs.  
"Wow" Spike said at the sight of her, "You look amazing."  
"Thank you" she said with a smile.  
"We'd better get gong, the movie starts in twenty minutes" he said and they left. Spike drove them to the movie and they sat in the middle of the auditorium watching. It was a horror movie and Buffy was very frightened by the loudness and the terror of it. She was surprised to find Spike's arm around her. She was glad though and felt safer.  
After the movie Spike and Buffy went to dinner. It was a very nice restaurant.  
"A-are you sure this is okay?" Buffy said.  
"Of course, order anything" he said with a smile. She loved it when he smiled at her. After dinner Spike took her home. "Well pet, this is it" he said.  
"Yeah, I had a great time" she said.  
"Me too" he told her. She quickly kissed him on the cheek and went inside. He smiled at that. He didn't expect her to kiss him.  
On Monday Buffy was a little nervous to go back to school. She had new friends now and she had a. . . well she didn't want to call him her boyfriend, they only went out once, but. . . she didn't know what to call him, a friend? Anyway she was glad he was in her life.  
"Hey Buff" Xander said when Buffy arrived at school.  
"Hi" she said.  
"So, I didn't get a chance to ask, how was your date with Spike?" Willow asked fascinated.  
"It was. . . it was amazing, he's so. . ." she said trying to come up with the right words to describe him. Just then she heard his voice behind her and quickly turned around.  
"Wonderful, hot, muscular?" he said with a sly smile.  
"To name a few" she said with the same smile.  
"Well it's about time you noticed" he said and then the bell rang.  
"Well that's our class pet" he said and Spike and Buffy walked to history together.  
"So, Friday night, it went well right?" he asked.  
"Yeah. . . did you think so?" she asked.  
"Yeah, I thought it went every well" he said. She was happy with his answer. She wanted to ask him out again, but she didn't feel comfortable asking a guy out. She hoped so much that he would ask her out again, and he did. "So, what about this coming Saturday?"  
"What?" she asked.  
"Another date, this Saturday?" he asked.  
"Sure" she said. She tried not to burst with joy. This was happening so fast, but she loved it. 


	3. Happy Revelations

The week passed quickly this time and finally it was Saturday. Buffy stood in front of her mirror looking herself over. She love being with Spike. She just wish this time he would kiss her. She sighed as she heard the doorbell ring and went downstairs to meet Spike.  
"Hello luv, you look wonderful," he said with a smile. Buffy couldn't help but smile too.  
"Thank you so do you," she said, as she looked him over. He had on black pants and a black t-shirt with a red over shirt on top of that, which had skinny black stripes on it. Over that was his black leather jacket.  
"Are you ready to go?" he asked.  
"Yeah" she said and they left. This time they would go not to the movies, but to a concert. Spike's favorite singer Billy Idol was performing and he took her to see him. Buffy actually like the performance and thought that Spike resembled him a lot. After the concert the went to dinner, like they had the last time, except this time they went for pizza instead of pasta. Buffy like the change. She liked how Spike differentiated their dates and didn't do the same thing ever time. But then again this was only their second date.  
"Are you having a good time pet?" he asked.  
"Absolutely, this night is amazing," she said with a smile. After dinner he took her to the beach and they sat on a blanket in the sand. She felt so safe with him. He sat behind her and put his arms around her waist. She leaned in and rested her head on this chest. She felt at ease as they watched the sunset and the waves. She didn't want to move form this spot. She wanted to stay her with him forever. Finally after about five minutes of silence he finally spoke.  
"I have to tell you something," he said.  
"What?" she asked, not looking at him, just looking at the waves.  
"I think I'm in love with you" he whispered in her ear. Her eyes widened as she turned around to face him.  
"What did you say?" she asked dazed, his words totally caught her off guard. I mean she had only known him for less than two weeks. Could she be in love with him? She did love being with him.  
"I said, I'm in love with you" he said, a little louder this time. She looked into his eyes and made her decision. She opened her mouth and began to speak. 


	4. Helpless

THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS. SOMEONE SAID THAT IT WAS TOO RUSHED SO I DECIDED TO CHANGE IT A BIT. THANK YOU TO WHOEVER POINTED IT OUT. I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT STAY THAT WAY. I INTENDED IT TO BE THAT WAY, BUT THEY WERE RIGHT IT WAS WAY TO RUSHED. SO HERE'S THE EDITED FOURTH CHAPTER. ENJOY!!!!  
  
She looked into his eyes. He looked so wonderful, but she had made her decision.  
"Spike. . .I. . .I can't say it back, not yet" she said.  
"What?" he said surprised. "What do you mean?"  
"I. . . don't love you, not yet anyway, it's too soon, I'm sorry" she said quietly.  
"Well. . .fine whatever" he said looking away embarrassed.  
"Spike I-" Buffy began, but he cut her off.  
'No, I shouldn't of said it anyway, I just said it so you'd sleep with me, that's all I'm interested in" he said harshly. She looked at him stunned. This was not the man she knew, but then again, she really didn't know him.  
"I'm sorry" she said again, he got up and walked away. "Where are you going?"  
"Home, find your own way back" he said and then got into his car and drove away, wheels screeching. Tears formed in Buffy's eyes as she got up and started to walk to a payphone to call her mom. She really hated hurting Spike's feelings, but it was true, she didn't love him, or at least not yet. He took her new very badly and she wondered if he would ever talk to her again, if he would ever forgive her. She called her mom and she arrived ten minutes later to find her daughter completely stricken. Buffy was completely sobbing now. She couldn't take her mind off Spike and what he said to her. His kind words, his warm hands. She didn't move when her mom arrived. Just sat there sobbing. Joyce got out of the car to comfort her daughter.  
"Sweetie, what happened, did Spike do something to you?" Joyce asked as she held her eldest daughter.  
"No" Buffy sniffled. "He told me he loved me."  
"He what, already, what did you say?" Joyce asked.  
"I didn't say it back" Buffy sobbed. "He hates me now."  
"Oh honey I'm so sorry, but sweetie you can't force yourself to love someone. . . it takes time, patience" Joyce told her.  
"Some people fall in love right away" Buffy said looking at her mother with tears in her eyes.  
"Yeah, some people, but baby, it's okay if you're not one of those people. . .it may seem like the end of the world, but I promise you, given time and everything will turn out okay" Joyce told her. Buffy laid her head back on her mother's shoulder and began crying again. She couldn't face Spike now. She felt so desperate for an answer. She felt helpless. 


	5. Authenticity

Monday came and Buffy had to go to school. She didn't want to. She couldn't face Spike, not after what had happened the night before. She had asked to stay home from school, but her mother said that she had to go.  
"Buffy, sweetie, come on wake up, you're gonna be late" Joyce said as she lightly shook her daughter.  
"Mom, please let me stay here, I can't face him, not now" Buffy pleaded, but her mother's face was stern.  
Buffy, staying at home and hiding is not going to make anything better" she told her.  
"But I can't go, he's gonna hate me forever" Buffy said in desperation.  
"Elizabeth Anne Summers I want you to get out of this bed and get dressed now" Joyce said and then left the room. Buffy reluctantly got out of bed and went to her closet. She didn't care what she wore today. Nobody was gonna talk or notice her anyway. She finally chose a pink sweat suit and a pair of tennis shoes. She got dressed and went downstairs pouting, butterflies in her stomach. She more than anything didn't want to go to school. She didn't want to face Spike.  
"See honey, that wasn't so hard was it?" Joyce asked. Buffy's eyes began to fill with tears as she thought ahead to what her day would be like.  
"Buffy, what' wrong?" Dawn asked.  
"Nothing, mom can we go now, I want to get this over with?" Buffy asked her mother.  
"Yes, Dawnie honey don't go outside until the bus comes okay" Joyce said and kissed her youngest daughter and they left. Buffy sat silent while her mother drove her to school. When they arrived she left the car without even saying goodbye to her. She walked into the school building and her heart was beating so fast she thought it would explode. She didn't see Spike anywhere. She was relieved at that. Suddenly Willow came up to her.  
"Hi Buffy" she said happily.  
"Hi Will, why are you still talking to me?" Buffy asked confused, Willow was Spike's best friend; didn't she hate her now as much as Spike did?  
"What do you mean?" the red head asked.  
"Didn't you here what went on between me and Spike?" Buffy asked and Willow smiled bigger.  
"I sure did, I didn't know you had such a wild side Buffy, Spike told me everything, you know about your date" Willow said, still grinning.  
"What? We went to a concert, went to dinner and went to the beach," Buffy said, not knowing what was going on.  
"Yeah, but he told me about what happened on the beach" Willow said, and then she took Buffy's arm and led her into the bathroom and made sure no one was in there. "Our little secret, he told me you were amazing."  
"What, no we didn't-" she tried to protest but Willow cut her off.  
"It's okay, I don't think any less of you, you're my fiend, so how was it?" Willow asked.  
"Willow we didn't do anything, I swear, look the truth is, he told me he loved me. . . and I didn't say it back, and now he's really mad at me and I just want to make it right" Buffy said.  
"Buffy, he says that to all the girls, look Spike's my friend and I love him, but. . .he has been pulling that trick since the ninth grade, he just tells a girl he loves her so he can. . . you know" Willow told her.  
"Oh my god. . .I turned him down, and he said he only said it to get into bed with me. . .I guess he was telling me the truth" Buffy said, mostly to herself.  
"I'm sorry Buff" Willow said as the bell rang. "I have to go, look just stay calm okay, don't like go all ballistic in class, you know since it's with Spike." Willow left the bathroom and Buffy slowly walked to her class. She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to see Spike. She no longer felt bad for turning him down. She was so angry with him for lying to her. She entered the class and the first person she saw was Spike. She quickly turned her eyes to something else so she didn't have to look at him. Even though her seat was next to his she took out a book and pretended to read. She wanted to do anything just to avoid looking at Spike. The bell rang again and the teacher began teaching class.  
"Okay, today we're going to start reading Romeo and Juliet, a tragic play by William Shakespeare about blind passion" the teacher said. Buffy heard Spike lean over and tell one of his buddies.  
"That's exactly what me and Buffy had last night" and they both laughed. Buffy turned to him.  
"That's not what happened and you know it" she said angrily.  
"Oh come on luv, you know you loved it" he said with a cruel smile.  
"You asshole!" she yelled and everyone in the room, including the teacher looked at her.  
"Buffy, is there something you'd like to share with the rest of us?" the teacher asked.  
"Go ahead luv, tell 'em what we did, tell 'em how you screamed and begged me to hurt you, to punish you for being a bad girl, tell 'em how you begged me not to stop" Spike whispered, but loud enough to be heard. She looked at him with tears in her eyes.  
"I hate you" she said and then left the room. She ran as fast as she could to the bathroom. She felt sick and had to throw up. Her life in Sunnydale was turning out to be a living hell. She started to cry as her reputation was turning. Soon she would be known as the town slut. She flushed the toilet and sat on the floor with her legs bent up to her chin. She held her head in her hands and cried. 


	6. Not a bad girl

Buffy's mom picked her up early that day. She called her after her little incident in English class and told her she wasn't feeling well, which was the truth, she was sick to her stomach. When they arrived home Buffy went up to her room and lay in bed and just cried. She couldn't believe this was happing; he was once so nice to her and now, all those lies he was spreading about her. How can someone change so quickly? Or maybe he didn't change at all, maybe he had two faces. After about two hours of crying Buffy finally fell asleep only to be woken up at about 6:30 by Dawn shaking her.  
"Buffy, Buffy wake up, it's dinnertime" Dawn said.  
"I'm not hungry" Buffy said, turning away from her sister.  
"Buffy what's wrong?" Dawn asked.  
"Nothing, just please go away" Buffy said.  
"But Buffy-" Dawn began, but was cut off by Buffy.  
"I said go!" she screamed at her. Dawn was startled by here big sister's tone and ran downstairs crying. A couple minutes later Joyce came upstairs.  
"Elizabeth, what did you do to your-" she began, but stopped when she saw the tears in Buffy's eyes. "What's wrong?"  
"Everything's so messed up mom" she said as she sat up. "I feel like. . .I feel dirty."  
"Why?" Joyce asked as she sat down on Buffy's bed.  
"You think you know people. . .you start to trust them, and you believe that they're whole and good and then. . .I don't know, maybe I deserve what Spike's doing to me" she said.  
"Honey, what' s going on?" Joyce asked.  
"He's spreading lies about me mom, he's saying things. . .things that aren't true" she told her. "He's saying we. . ." she whispered almost in tears again.  
"You didn't did you?" Joyce asked.  
"Of course not, what do you think I am?" Buffy asked angrily.  
"I'm sorry honey, but as a mother I had to ask, it was in the manual" she said smiling, this made Buffy smile as well. "Are you sure you don't want to come down for dinner?"  
"Yeah, I just want to sleep" she said. She laid down again and closed her eyes. Joyce just sat there with her stroking her hair until she fell asleep.  
  
* Buffy's Dream *  
  
Buffy's eyes met his. She couldn't of been happier than this moment right now. Her lips reached his as the minister announced their marriage. He kissed her tenderly.  
"I love you" he whispered in her ear.  
"I love you too Spike" she whispered back. As the music played again they walked hand in hand back down the aisle and into the white limo that waited for them. They were married. As they the driver drove them to the reception hall they spent their time alone making out as husband and wife. When the limo came to a stop the got out and waked into the hall.  
"Introducing Mister and Missus William Bryson" the deejay announced and Spike and Buffy walked in hand in hand smiling as everyone clapped.  
"Okay, let's get right to the chase, let's have the bride and groom dance" Spike's father said and everyone laughed. Spike and Buffy waked onto the dance floor and the deejay played the song Buffy had requested when they hired him, 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Huston. They danced slowly as she snuggled her face in his shoulder. She closed her eyes as they moved along the dance floor. The guests watched them with happiness as they danced. Nothing in the world existed at that moment except them, just him and her.  
"Buffy. . ." she heard him whisper and she looked into his eyes. "It's time to wake up."  
"What?" she said confused.  
  
*End Buffy's Dream*  
  
Joyce was shaking her daughter lightly trying to wake her.  
"Buffy, come on get up, it's time for school" she said. Buffy opened her eyes and realized that the whole ting was just a dream. She sighed with disappointment as she sat up.  
"Are you feeling better honey?" Joyce asked.  
"A little" she said and then got up and went to her closet like she did every morning.  
"Sweetie. . .you don't have to go to school today if you don't want to" Joyce said.  
"No, it's okay, I'm gonna have to face up to it sometime. . .I know that I just have to forget about him. . .it's over, but then again there was nothing really there to begin with" she said and got out her clothes.  
"Okay, I'll leave you to get dressed" Joyce said and left Buffy's room, shutting the door behind her. Buffy got dressed and looked in the mirror. She would be okay. . .she hoped. 


	7. Thoughts of you

Buffy decided to walk to school today. It was a nice day, warm and bright, and she just wanted some alone time to reflect on things. She thought about Spike. She didn't know how it could of turned so evil. Why had she fallen for his lines? Why had she. . .no she wasn't thinking that. . .was she. . .was she really. . .maybe. . .in love with him? It couldn't be. She hated him. After what he had done to her how could she still have feelings for him? She reached the school building and entered it to fine Willow and Xander talking. She went up to them.  
  
"Hi you guys, I don't know if I'm still welcome here but. . ." she said.  
  
"Of course you are" Willow said.  
  
"Okay, so h-have you talked to Spike?" she asked them.  
  
"I haven't" Xander said.  
  
"Will?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah, last night on the phone" Willow told her.  
  
"Did. . .did he. . ." Buffy tried to ask.  
  
"Mention you?" Willow asked, Buffy nodded. "No, not really, I'm sorry" she said.  
  
"What do you mean 'not really'? so sort of? What did he say?" Buffy asked.  
  
"He just. . .he mentioned what happened in English" Willow told her.  
  
"Oh, what did he tell you?" she asked.  
  
"That you went all ballistic because he tried to talk to you" Willow said.  
  
"That's not-" she began, but stopped when Spike came up to the table.  
  
"Hey Will, Xand" he said, pretending not to notice Buffy.  
  
"Hey Spike" Willow said.  
  
"Spike you remember Buffy right? You know the girl you. . .well actually I don't know what happened" Xander said realizing his total naïve- ness of the situation.  
  
"I have to go" Buffy said and quickly got up and walked away. She went to her first class, which thankfully wasn't with Spike she wanted to get away from him. Just two minutes with him and already her stomach was curling. She arrived at her first class, creative writing, which was her favorite. She sat in her seat. Today they were starting a new project. The bell rang and the teacher came into the room.  
  
"Hey you guys" Mr. Tiller said. "All right I told you that you were starting a new project today and here it is" he handed out packets to all of the class. "Okay, your assignment is to write a short story about something traumatic that happened to you. It can be from the past, or something that's happening right now, but it has to be real, all right start brainstorming." Buffy thought about this one. Something traumatic, what could she write about? She could right about her gradfather dying when she was only eight. Or maybe getting lost in the mall at age five. No, she decided, she'd right about Spike. But what about him? How much of a jerk he was? How much he hurt her? How much she loved him? No! she couldn't write that, she didn't even think it. Not knowing what to write she just doodled on her notebook paper. She would sort out everything tonight when she got home and could think for real.  
  
The bell rang for the end of class but Buffy didn't notice. As the students left she sat there still doodling on her paper. To much of her surprise she starting doodling Spike's name.  
  
"Buffy? Buffy?" Mr. Tiller said.  
  
"Huh?" Buffy asked, snapping out of her daze.  
  
"You can go now, the bell rang" he said with a smile.  
  
"Oh, right" she said a little embarrassed.  
  
"Buffy is something wrong?" he asked as he sat leaned on his desk while she collected her things.  
  
"Why do you ask?" she wondered.  
  
"Well it's probably none of my business but you've been sort of sad lately, and zoned out, plus you've doodled the name 'Spike' on this paper like a hundred times" he said. "And you're writing has slipped a little, I mean you're a great writer Buffy, but. . .it just seems like lately you don't have the feel for it."  
  
"I know. . .to tell you the truth there is something wrong, Spike" she said.  
  
"Who's Spike?" he asked.  
  
"Do you know William Bryson?" Buffy asked him.  
  
"Oh, the bad ass Billy Idol want-to-be" he said, knowing who she was talking about.  
  
"That's him, but Spike's a lot hotter than Billy Idol" Buffy said. Mr. Tiller smiled.  
  
"I see, what did he break up with you or something?" he asked.  
  
"No. . .well yes, but that was after he told me he loved me and I didn't say it back" Buffy told him.  
  
"Oh" he said.  
  
"Well no I mean he didn't mean it, he just said that to get me into- " she said and then stopped, catching herself before finishing her sentence. "Band, just to get me into his band." She said, recovering herself.  
  
"Oh, yeah, guys do that all the time" he said.  
  
"Well, I'm late, so I'll go" she said. "Thanks for the talk." She grabbed her stuff and left and walked quickly to her next class. 


	8. Your question is answered

That night Buffy worked on her creative writing assignment. She knew she wanted to write about Spike, but she didn't know what. She could write about how he is two faced and uses love as a tool and not an emotion. She could write about how he spreads rumors if he doesn't get what he wants. Or she could write about his deep blue eyes and muscular body. No Buffy focus! Spike is bad. He doesn't respect women. He's racist and obnoxious and rude and hot and strong and. . .stop it! You cannot have feelings for him, not after what he did to you. She gave it up and decided to go to sleep. Even though it was Friday she was very tired. Not even two weeks ago Spike broke up with her. If only she had said she loved him too. No Buffy it was not your fault! Spike didn't mean it! She fell asleep thinking of him  
  
-Buffy's Dream Two-  
  
Buffy panted as she tried to push. She was in labor and was giving birth to her and Spike's first child. She was very happy which facilitated her pain. She pushed once more and the baby came out.  
"It's a beautiful baby girl" the doctor said and gave the baby to the nurse. She cleaned her up and wrapped her in a pink blanket and put a pink hat on her head and then handed her to Buffy.  
"Do you have a name for her yet?" the nurse asked.  
"Yeah it's Ashley Renee Bryson" Buffy said.  
"That's pretty, but Buffy you're talking in your sleep" the nurse said, her voice sounding a lot like her mother's. Oh not this again Buffy thought.  
  
-End of her Dream-  
  
Her mother pulled her out of her dream. She opened her eyes and sat up.  
"You were talking in your sleep honey are you okay?" Joyce asked.  
"Yeah, I'm fine" she said as she picked up her stuffed pig Mr. Gordo and hugged him.  
"So, have you given any thought as it what you're gong to write about?" Joyce asked.  
"I want to write about Spike" she told her.  
"What about Spike?" Joyce asked.  
"I don't know, part of me wants to write about how rude and selfish and horrible he is" Buffy said.  
"And the other part" Joyce pried.  
"The other part is pleading the fifth at the moment" Buffy joked. She really didn't know what she wanted to do. Every time she thought about him, his bleached blonde hair. The way he looked good in everything, especially black, and his eyes, oh those beautiful blue eyes. the way they pierced her every time they glanced her way. Every time she thought about him a warm glow came over her. But she couldn't forgive him for what he did to her. Or at least she didn't think she could. She sighed at a loss of idea. Now that she got the inspiration to write about him nothing else seemed good enough. She hated what he was doing to her. And at the same time she love it. She picked up her pen and finally began writing.  
  
'When I first moved here from L.A. I hated the idea. I didn't want to leave my friends, or L.A. for that matter. When I arrived I was so scared that no one would talk to me. That I would have no friends. And then I met someone. Someone who I fell in love with, but when he told me he loved me I don't know if I was scared, caught off guard or just plain stupid, but I didn't say it back. I know now, I do love him. I just wish that, that none of this would of happened. He hurt me deeply, both by lying about loving me and spreading lies about me that would ultimately lead to obliteration of my character. And for this is am angry with him. But I can't doubt anymore how I feel about him. I love him. It's been almost two weeks since the night I turned him down. I'm supposed to writing about something horrible that happened to me, but it isn't the rumors circulating or the un-passion filled use of the word "love". The thing that I'm writing about goes deeper than that. It's not about emotional pain it's about physical desire. I hesitate to write this as I foresee reactions that are less than "wanted" but I want Spike. I look at him and my heart calls out, singing the song of passion, but it taunts me, knowing I can never again have him. Never again feel his touch, his strong arms wrapped around me, making me feel safe. It's hard, dreams of desire haunt me in my sleep and visions of passion trouble my consciousness. Being burdened by your own desires leaves you empty. The flames of lust and love bleed together in one single light and it's hard to tell the difference until you look at that person. Sensing their presence. Their humanity growing and building to it's insupportable climax. Heat rises and settles at the surface, knowing it can never torrent away. Holding in the things you want most, and trying to focus on anything else, but the fortitude of it's goal descends you deeper and deeper under, taking control of your every move. You asked what's the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me, just that. Hearing his name is like waiting for snow in July. He'll never love me. And maybe that should be enough for me to move on, but hearing his words in my head. Hearing the three most beautiful words god created, "I love you" hearing them from his lips. It makes me want him. Yes he hurt me, so much that I didn't think I'd be able to live through it, but the feeling of desire overrides the hurt and all I'm left with is yearning. Will he ever love me? My head is saying no, but my heart is screaming yes. Maybe I'm hoping for something that is possible on this green earth. Or maybe I'm just wishing for something that would happen when hell froze over. I don't know. But I will always feel it. The desire, the love, him.'  
  
She finished the paper and was satisfied with herself. She held it up in front of her and smiled. She entitled it 'Your question is answered By Elizabeth Summers' and she put it in her folder ready to take to school on Monday. She smiled again, but deep inside she still ached from the lack of love, and the loneliness she felt. 


	9. The turning point

When Monday came and it was time to go to school Buffy was happy. She didn't know why. She just was. She got her things together and once again decided to walk to school. The sun was not shinning and it was actually kind of cold, but she still wanted to. To be by herself. Just to think. When she arrived at school she didn't stop to talk to Willow. She just went directly to her creative writing class to deliver her paper to Mr. Tiller.  
"Hey Buffy, how are you today?" he asked.  
"Good Mr. Tiller, what about you?" Buffy asked.  
"I'm good," he told her.  
"Well I'm done with me paper" she said and handed it to him.  
"Already, that's quick, especially because you were so zonked out in class on Friday" he said.  
"I know, when an idea hits you, it's hard to stop writing," she said with a smile. He looked the paper over slightly.  
"Well this looks pretty good so far" he said and put it on his desk. Soon the bell rang and the teacher started class. After it was over she went to her second class, which she had dreaded over the last few days because it was with Spike, but today, she felt a weird confidence and didn't care. She took her seat and he looked at her and this time she looked back.  
"What?" she asked.  
"Nothing" he said and turned away. He turned form her? That was a new one. Usually he was the one who made the passes and crude remarks, but today he just looked away. The class was soon over and Buffy walked off. She wanted to talk to Willow now. She found her friend sitting in the cafeteria sipping milk from a straw and reading some kind of book. She walked over to her and sat down as well.  
"Hey Will" she greeted her.  
"Buffy" she said, swallowing the milk and smiling.  
"What are ya reading?" Buffy asked, trying to make conversation.  
"This book called 'Love is worthless'" Willow told her.  
"That's bleak" Buffy said.  
"Yeah, but it's a good book, besides you should be welcoming it, with all that's happened" Willow said.  
"Will, can I tell you a secret?" she asked.  
"Yeah" Willow said, moving closer so that her friend could whisper to her.  
"I'm in love with Spike" Buffy admitted. Willow's eyes went wide and her smile grew bigger.  
"Are you serious!" Willow said, very loudly. A lot of people that were in the cafeteria at the time looked at them.  
"Shhh!" Buffy said. "Yes, I'm serious."  
"Oh my god" Willow said, still smiling.  
"Look, you can't tell Spike okay, please" Buffy pleaded.  
"No, of course I won't tell" Willow said. "Are you gonna tell him?"  
"No, I can't. . .he doesn't feel the same way about me" Buffy said.  
"Well maybe he does" Willow said, hopeful.  
"Get real Will, look all the things he done to me" Buffy said.  
"Well love makes you do the wacky" Willow said. "I can find out for you."  
"Without telling him what's going on?" Buffy said, skeptical.  
"Yeah, I've known him literally all my life, since we were like five hours old, I know him better than anyone" Willow said.  
"Okay, but if you promise not to tell him" Buffy finally said.  
"I promise, ooh, this is so exiting, my oldest best friend and my newest best friend together, eeh" Willow squealed in delight as she got up and walked away. Buffy couldn't help but smile at her. She was always so determined to make sure everyone was happy, even before herself. She was truly a good soul.  
The next day at school Buffy walked in and noticed that the school paper was out. She had never read a school newspaper and decided to get one and read it. Much to her surprise when she opened it the first story in the editorial section was. . .hers! I don't write for the paper, she thought as she began to read. She quickly realized just what this story was.  
"Oh my god" she said in terror and ran to find Willow. She found her red headed friend talking to some people and quickly pulled her way.  
"What's wrong Buffy?" Willow asked confused.  
"Did you see the paper?" Buffy asked her. "Look at this, my story, in the paper, practically on the front page!"  
"That's great" Willow said, thinking this was good new.  
"No, no, not great, bad, very, very, very 'extra' BAD" Buffy said in panic. "This is the story that I wrote in creative writing."  
"So" Willow said, still not catching on.  
"Will, read this" she said, handing the paper to her friend. Willow read for a while and then looked up.  
"Oh" was all she said.  
"Yeah, oh, big fat capital OH" Buffy said.  
"Well, calm down, it's okay" Willow said.  
"No, it's not okay, all right Spike is gonna read this, oh my god, it's like one of those dreams where you're standing in front of the class naked and you can't move or run out, there gonna be talking about it for weeks" Buffy said as she began to breathe quickly.  
"Okay, Buffy, please calm down okay, you're hyperventilating" Willow said as she hugged Buffy. Suddenly Spike came up to them.  
"Hey Wills" he said.  
"Hey" Willow said back. Buffy's eyes shifted to the paper that was in his hand and her heart jumped with fear as she looked down uncomfortably.  
"Uh, Buffy, can I talk to you?" he asked. She was very surprised and nodded, not being able to speak. He led her to the library where they could talk in quiet. She could feel her stomach start to twist. "I read the article you wrote."  
"That wasn't supposed to be put in there I.-" she began but was silenced by his finger on her lips.  
"Shhh" he whispered. "Let me talk, I didn't know you felt that way."  
"Well either did I, I guess it's true what they say, you don't miss something-" she said and Spike finished her sentence.  
"Until it's gone" he said with a smile.  
"That would be the cliché" she said and also smiled. Was he actually being nice to her? Had her story turned over a new rock?  
"In this story, you said you loved me, is it true?" he asked.  
"Why do you care? You, you said that-" she began, but once again he cut her off.  
"I know what I said, just answer the question" he said.  
"Yes, I meant it" she said looking away.  
"Hey, look at me" he said tilting her head towards him. "I'm so sorry Buffy."  
"You are?" she questioned.  
"I never wanted to hurt you, never intended it. I was just so hurt and embarrassed that you turned me down that I just. . .can you ever forgive me?" he asked.  
"I'm sorry too" she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.  
"No, don't be. . .look it's okay, I know that I threw that on you quickly, but I did mean it and it's okay that you weren't ready then" he told her also bringing his voice down to a whisper.  
"I'm ready now" she said looking into his eyes. Oh those eyes. He had such beautiful eyes. They still stunned her every time he looked at her.  
"I love you" he said as he leaned forward for a kiss.  
"I love you too" she said, her heart swelling with joy. Their lips touched. First soft and light, and they the kiss grew more intense. His tongue slowly crept into her moth to touch hers. She welcomed it and breathed deeply into his with ecstasy. The kiss seemed to last forever and then finally broke. He looked at her with love in his eyes. this was the man she knew. Her Spike, her William. 


	10. Secrets

Five and a half weeks passed since Buffy and Spike finally declared their love for each other. Their relationship grew strongly an emotional level, but a physical relationship wasn't there. Buffy wasn't ready. Although she loved him very much, she just wasn't sure what to do about the physical desires they both had.  
On Saturday Buffy woke up wanting to see Spike, to here his voice. After getting dressed she called him. When there was no answer at his apartment she dialed his cell. It rang a couple times and then Buffy's heard the strong English accent that she loved so much.  
"Hello?" he said into the phone.  
"Hi" she said smiling at the sound of his voice.  
"Hey luv, what's the what?" he asked.  
"Do you want to do something today?" she asked, anxious to see him.  
"Sure, like what?" he said.  
"I don't know, I don't care, I just want to see you" she said.  
"Well, you could come to my place, actually I'm having a party tonight, do you want to come?" he asked.  
"Are you sure you don't mind" she said. The tone in his voice seemed annoyed.  
"Of course I'm sure, I want to see you too" he said.  
"Okay, what time?" she asked.  
"Uh, well the party starts at nine, but you could come over now and we could. . .have a little party of our own" he said. This made her very nervous. What did he expect from her?  
"Okay" she finally said, still unsure of herself. After they hung up Buffy went downstairs to find her mom and Dawn eating breakfast at the dining room table.  
"Hey mom" Buffy said.  
'I sweetie" Joyce said back.  
"Uh, mom can I go to Spike's?" Buffy asked.  
"For what?" Joyce asked her.  
"Just to hang out, he's having a party tonight and I'm going to help him get ready" she told her.  
"Are you gonna be kissing?" Dawn asked jokingly.  
"None of your business" Buffy said, but she knew the answer to her little sister's question. They would most likely make out. They were most famous for doing that.  
"Okay, but be home in time for curfew" Joyce said.  
"All right" Buffy said and left.  
Buffy took her mother's car and drove to Spike's house. She was very nervous about being alone with him in his house. . . where his bedroom was. . . where there was a bed. . .and other things. She shook it off as soon as she got there and walked up the steps to and into the apartment building. She searched for his number, number 23 and when she found it she knocked on the door. There was no answer so she twisted the doorknob to see if it was locked, it wasn't so she went inside.  
"Spike, baby are you here?" Buffy asked. There was no answer. She walked a little further so she could see outside and onto the balcony. What she saw devastated her. Spike and some girl were kissing. "Auh" she said quietly, but he still heard her and broke the kiss quickly.  
"Buffy, luv. . ." he said and then looked at the woman. "No, I can explain, wait."  
"Explain what? There's nothing to explain" she said and then ran out of the apartment. He followed, running after her.  
"Luv, wait" he said as he grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him. Tears were now trickling down her cheeks.  
"I thought you loved me" she said quietly, now starting to cry.  
"I do lamb, you don't understand we-" he said trying to explain, but Buffy put up her hand stopping him dead in his tracks.  
"Don't. . . don't try to make this right, you made your choice" she said looking away.  
"Please just let me explain okay, please, I'm bagging you" he pleaded. She looked at the desperation in his eyes and calmed down so he could explain.  
"Fine" she said, the anger growing in her voice. "Explain."  
"Okay" he said, taking her hand and leading her to a bench that was nearby. They sat down, she still in shock of the sight of her boyfriend locking lips with another woman and he faced her. "All right, look luv it's not what you think, okay, yes we were kissing, but. . . it was an accident" he told her.  
"No, bumping in to someone is an accident, spilling coffee is an accident, god even wrecking your car can be an accident, but not kissing someone, that you do on purpose " she said as tears of anger and hurt fell from her eyes.  
"You don't understand, okay, she's my ex" he said.  
"Oh, that's really helping your story" she said turning away from him.  
"Hey, look at me" he said as he gently tilted her head towards him. "Look, we broke up because she was unfaithful to me."  
"Oh, how ironic" she said.  
"Bloody hell woman, you said you'd let me explain but you won't let me talk" he said growing annoyed.  
"Fine, go" she said.  
"We've been broken up for like a year and a half, and then when I got home she was at my place, I don't know how she got in, but she did, we started fighting and then she just kissed me."  
"Like I'm supposed to believe that" she said standing up and walking a few steps away.  
"Do you love me?" he asked.  
"Of course I do, that's why this hurts to much" she said turning to face him. He stood up as well and walked up close to her. As he did she backed away.  
"Listen luv, I'm telling you the truth, why would I invite you over if I planned this? I love you okay, 'you' that's all" he said.  
"Passion doesn't need to be about love" she said looking straight into his eyes. "People do things everyday, things they regret, things they want to take back, people's passion takes them over, takes control, blinds them from seeing that it's wrong, you don't have to love somebody to get off Spike, sleeping with someone doesn't entail love, just passion, and god, not even that" Buffy said. "You live everyday and wonder, wonder what it would be like to be with someone else, to do wrong, to get away with it, and sooner or later you just. . . give in, believe me I've seen it too many times, I new I fell in love too soon." The look on His face limitedly made her regret her statement. He looked at her hurtfully and replied.  
"That's not what's going on here pet, please you have to believe me, I love you, ever since I met you, I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. Hell I never loved before you so I didn't know it was love right away and not just lust, not until I met you. And yeah, it scared me to say it to you. I mean we only knew each other for two weeks, but people have fallen in love the first day and gotten married. I'm not asking for marriage here ducks, but I just. . . I don't want to lose you" he said and then the woman on his balcony came down to join them.  
"Haven't done that for a while Spiky, it felt good didn't it?" she said with a seductive smile.  
"You slut" Buffy said going after her, but Spike stopped her. He grabbed her by the waist and held her back.  
"Just because you can't keep your man satisfied doesn't mean I can't" she said, still smiling. Buffy tried harder to get at the girl. She wanted to pound her into the ground, but Spike wouldn't let go of her, and deep down, she didn't want him to. She love him holding on to her.  
"Get out of here Harmony, I don't love you, and I never will, so just get out of here," Spike said coldly to the blonde.  
"Spiky-" she began, but was cut off by Spike.  
"Go!" he yelled, still holding on to Buffy. She looked surprised that he turned her down and just walked to her car and drove away. Spike turned Buffy around so she was facing him. "See luv, I only have passion and desire for you." She looked into his eyes and kissed him, putting her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. The passionate kiss lasted for a very long time. When she broke it she took his hand.  
"Let's go upstairs" she said leading him up to his apartment and into his bedroom.  
"Are you sure about this pet, we don't have to-" he began, but she put her index finger up to his lips to stop his words.  
"Shhh, don't. . . just kiss me" she said and he brought her into another passionate kiss. 


	11. Like a virgin

Buffy woke up in Spike's arms. She looked around her remembering what had happened. As she moved to make herself more comfortable Spike woke.  
"Hey luv" he said with a smile.  
"Hi" she said, laying her head back on his shoulder.  
"How did you sleep?" he asked  
"Good, what about you?" she asked, tying to make small talk. She was even more nervous now than when they were actually in action. His bad boy image made her apprehensive, but today, with her, he was so gentle and loving, which made her love him even more. She snuggled herself closer to him. He wrapped his arms tighter around her and she felt safe. Safer than she had ever felt in her life.  
"I love you" he whispered in her ear, which made her smile. This wasn't just his attempt at getting her into bed, which he had succeeded in doing. He really loved her, and she loved him, more than anything in life.  
  
"I love you too" she said and sighed. She closed her eyes trying to savor this moment in her mind forever.  
'Okay luv, we have to get up, it's 6:45 and the party starts at 9:00 so. . ." he said and got out of bed and put on his shorts.  
"All right, I'm gonna take a shower" Buffy said and also got out of bed and wrapped herself in a sheet. She walked over to Spike and kissed him before going into the bathroom. She turned on the water to her desired temperature and stepped in. after she was done she got dressed and low dried her hair and walked into the living room where Spike was sitting on the couch. He sat next to him, sitting close and putting her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead.  
"So, we should really start getting ready for the party. She really just wished there wasn't one tonight. She just wanted him to hold her. She wanted to stay close to him and feel his warmth.  
"Hmm" was all she said and closed her eyes and began to fall asleep until he got up.  
"Come on, we have to go to the store and get some food" he said, taking her hand and pulling her up. She groaned, but agreed and went with him.  
Buffy finally arrived home at midnight. She walked in her house to find her mother sitting on the couch waiting up.  
"Hey honey" her mom said.  
"Hi mom " Buffy said, feeling very nervous. She didn't want her mom to find out about what she did with Spike.  
"So what did you do with Spike?" Joyce asked.  
"What!" Buffy said, caught off guard.  
"What types of things did you two do?" Joyce asked.  
"Uh. . .we just hung out, you know until the party" Buffy said, trying to cover herself.  
"Oh, well was it good?" Joyce asked.  
"It was amazing" Buffy said with a day dreamy simile on her face. "Goodnight mom." Buffy went upstairs and went to bed. As she lay there in the dark she pictured Spike, and she wanted him. She wanted his hands around her waist. Him holding her close telling her he loves her. She smiled as she finally fell asleep. 


	12. Surprises

Buffy woke to the sound of rain. It had been a couple weeks since she slept with Spike. She sat up in bed and instantly felt sick. She ran to the bathroom and threw up. Afterward she flushed the toilet and looked in the mirror. She realized that she was really pale. She got out the thermometer to check her temperature. The thermometer revealed that Buffy had a temperature of 103 degrees. She went back into her room and lay down. She didn't know what was wrong. After awhile she went downstairs to tell her mom what was wrong.  
"Hi mom" she said as she sat next to her on the couch.  
"Hi honey, what's the matter?" Joyce asked.  
"I don't feel so good," Buffy told her, Joyce felt her forehead.  
"Sweetie you're burning up" Joyce said.  
"I don't know what's wrong" Buffy said groaning and laying her head on the back cushion of the couch.  
"Maybe I should take you to the doctor" Joyce said.  
"Okay" Buffy said.  
"All right honey, go and get dressed and I'll take you" Joyce said. Buffy got dressed and Joyce took her to the doctor. They waited about twenty minutes and then were led back to a room.  
"The doctor will be with you shortly" the nurse told them. About fifteen minutes later the doctor came into the room. She was a fairly young woman with light red hair. She was really skinny and looked about twenty- five.  
"Hello, I'm doctor Helen" she said with a smile. "What seems to be the problem?"  
"I just don't feel well, I'm nauseous" Buffy said.  
"Okay, well we'll see what's wrong" the doctor said. She checked Buffy over and then she took out a clipboard. "Is it possible that you're pregnant?"  
"What, no it's-" Joyce asked, but Buffy cut her off.  
"Mom. . .uh. . .y-yes, it might be feasible" she said looking down.  
"What?" Joyce whispered. "Buffy-"  
"Mom please, I don't want to talk about it right now" Buffy said, not looking at her.  
"All right, we'll do a blood test to see" the doctor said leaving again. Buffy wished that she had stayed. She didn't want to be alone with her mother. She just wished Spike were here with her.  
"Okay Buffy, when did this happen?" Joyce asked.  
"Mom I don't-" Buffy began.  
"No, you don't get a say in this, I want to know and I want to know now" Joyce said.  
"A couple a weeks ago, before Spike's party" Buffy said quietly.  
"Oh my god, I don't know what to do about this, Buffy how could you be so stupid?" Joyce asked her.  
"Mom I love him, more than anything, and he loves me" Buffy said.  
"Oh of course he does, you're willing to give it up like a little slut" Joyce said coldly and then quickly changed her tone when she saw the look on Buffy's face. "Look honey, I'm sorry okay I just-"  
"No, no it's fine, obviously you don't think I'm good enough to be your daughter so I'll just move in with Spike" Buffy said angrily.  
"Oh no you won't" Joyce said.  
"Well in a couple days I'm gonna be eighteen, so there's really nothing you can do about it" Buffy said looking away.  
"Sweetie look-" she tried to say again, but Buffy stood up and interrupted her again.  
"Forget it, I'm leaving, I'm going to Spike's and I just. . .I'm leaving" she said and then left.  
Buffy took the bus to Spike's house. She didn't know what she was going to do. She could not believe that her own mother had the nerve to call her a. . .she didn't want to think anymore. She sat in the bus seat looking out the window until her stop came up. After she got of the bus she walked to Spike's apartment, which wasn't that far away. She walked up the stairs until she found number 23 and she knocked on the door and he answered.  
"Hey luv" he said as her eyes filled up with tears. "What's wrong?"  
"Can I come in please?" she asked, trying not to cry.  
"Of course" he said and let her in. As soon as she was in she sat on the couch and began to cry.  
"Baby what's the matter?" Spike asked as he sat next to her trying to comfort her.  
"My mom and I had a huge fight, can I stay here tonight?" she asked.  
"Uh. . .luv I would love for you to stay here but your mum would-" he said, but she finished his sentence for him.  
"Would freak, but she already knows about us" Buffy told him.  
"What. . .you told her" Spike said.  
"I had to, Spike I. . ." she tried to say, but the words just wouldn't come.  
"What?" he asked.  
"I might be pregnant" she told him.  
  
ALL RIGHT NEXT CHAPTER'S UP. I JUST WANTED TO THANK EVERYONE WHO READ AND REVIEWED THIS STORY, AND ALL OF MY STORIES. YOU'RE SUGGESTIONS WERE VERY HELPFUL. HOPE YOU LIKE!!!!!! 


	13. The Phone call

She looked into his eyes afraid of what he would say. He just stared at her. She didn't know if she should speak, or just not talk at all. Finally she spoke up.  
"Please, say something, anything" she said. `  
"I. . .I don't know what to say" he said, still stunned. She had thrown this huge pile of news in his lap so suddenly. He didn't know what to do or say. He did love her, a great deal. He would do anything for her. Finally after a few minutes he spoke. "Are you sure?"  
"It's not certain, I was feeling sick and the doctor took a blood test, we'll know tomorrow" she said.  
"Okay. . .well um. . .if it shows that. . .you know, then, I will be her, I'll take care of you, and if doesn't. . ." he wanted to say good, but he didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Then I'll still be here" he said. She smiled and hugged him. He held her tightly. He hoped so much that the test didn't come up positive, but if it did, he would still love her and he would be there for her.  
"So can I stay here, please, I don't want to go home?" Buffy asked.  
"O. . .of course" he said. She hugged him again.  
Buffy woke up in the middle of the night. She had had a nightmare that woke her from her sleep. She looked on the side of the bed where the clock was and it read 3:25. She looked over to her other side where Spike was asleep. She lay down and snuggled herself up against him. Still sleeping he put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder and slowly fell back asleep.  
When Buffy woke again it was morning and Spike was no longer in bed. She walked out of his bedroom to and went into the kitchen where she found him.  
"Hey baby" she said. He smiled at the sight of her.  
"Hi luv, sleep well?" he asked.  
"Yeah, well mostly, I had a nightmare" she told him as she sat down at the table.  
"About what?" he asked.  
"I had a dream that my mother killed me, and then she killed you, and then our baby" Buffy told him. He laughed. "What?"  
"I'm sorry pet, but that's hilarious, look sweetheart, your mother is not going to kill anybody okay" he told her.  
"I know that, I can't control what I dream about" she told him.  
"I know, come here luv" he said and she walked over to the stove where he was cooking. "I love you, and it scares the hell out of me when I think of having to raise a baby, but. . .if it comes down to that, and don't take that the wrong way, but if it does, I will be here for you all right" he said. She kissed him on the lips lightly.  
"I know, I love you too" she said. He pulled her into another more passionate kiss. As his tongue made its way into her mouth the doorbell rang and she broke the kiss.  
"Who in the bloody hell could that be?" he said annoyed, turning off the stove and walking to the front door. He answered it to find Joyce standing there.  
"Hello Spike" she said in monotone. "Is my daughter here?"  
"Uh, yeah, Buffy luv, your mom's here" he said calling her.  
"Mom, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked as she emerged form the kitchen.  
"I want you to come home, now, come on" Joyce said.  
"No" Buffy said, holding on to Spike. "I'm not going anywhere."  
"Elizabeth, I am your mother and you will do what I say, now you are not eighteen for another four days young lady so come on now" Joyce said.  
"Oh that's right, your birthday's coming up soon" Spike said, looking at Buffy.  
"Yeah" she said, not really caring.  
"Elizabeth-" Joyce began.  
"Mom I'm not going anywhere okay so just leave, this isn't your house" Buffy said.  
"And it isn't yours either, let's go" Joyce said.  
"Mom I'm not-" Buffy tried to say, but was discontinued by Spike.  
"Look luv, maybe you should go home, all your things are there anyway" he said. She looked at him a surprised and a little hurt.  
"What? You don't want me here?" she asked.  
"Of course I do ducks, I love you, but I mean. . .look wait okay, just wait until you turn eighteen, and then you could live here if you wanted" he said, that made her eyes light up.  
"Really?" she said.  
"Of course" he told her. She kissed him.  
"Okay" she said. "I love you."  
"I love you too sweetheart" he told her and she and Joyce left.  
Buffy and Joyce didn't say a word to each other the whole way home. When they arrived Buffy saw that there was a message on the machine and pushed the play button to listen to it.  
"Hello Miss Summers this is Doctor Helen, I got the test results back from the lab and it confirms that you're. . ."  
  
ALL RIGHT, I'VE READ SO MANY CLIFF HANGERS THAT I DECIDED TO DO SOME MYSELF. HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER. I KNOW IT WAS SHORT, BUT THE NEXT WILL BE LONGER. ANYWAY THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED FOR THEIR SUPPORT. I'VE GOTTEN SO MAY NICE REVIEWS. 


	14. Reconciliation

Buffy looked at the machine. She was unsure before, but deep down she knew the answer. After the doctor had confirmed it for her she sat back in the chair by the machine and sighed. She wanted to pick up the phone right away to call Spike, but she just left there and she just wanted to give him some breathing time. She walked upstairs to the bathroom. She wanted to take a shower and relieve some stress. She turned on the water, hotter than she usually put it and stepped in. As the hot water hit her skin she moaned in relaxation. She could have gone to sleep right then, if she wasn't standing that was. She washed her hair and the rest of her and got out. She decided not to dry her long blonde hair like she usually did. Instead she turned on her electrical blanket and waited until it heated up until she went to sleep.  
When Buffy woke it was five o'clock. She rubbed her eyes and got out of bed. She walked downstairs to find her mother and sister watching TV on the couch.  
"Hi" she said quietly.  
"Hi Buffy" Dawn said. "Do you want to watch TV with us?"  
"Um. . .I don't think I'm wanted" she said looking at her mother, who looked back.  
"Buffy of course you're wanted, you're my daughter and I love you and Dawn more than anything in life but I just. . ." she trailing off after noticing Dawn. "Let's talk in her" she said getting up and leading Buffy into the kitchen.  
"Aw, why can't I hear?" Dawn whined.  
"Because you're too young, now sit and watch the show okay" Joyce said as her and Buffy went and sat at the island in the kitchen. "Buffy I just don't know how you could have been so irresponsible, I thought you were smarter than that."  
"Mom I didn't do it to hurt you, or so you'd be disappointed in me, I love Spike with all of my heart, and he loves me, look mom I just don't want you to hate me" Buffy said.  
"Sweetie I don't hate you, I could never hate you, but I'm just thwarted with you" she said.  
"I know. . .I'm sorry" she said.  
"I heard the message, you know the doctor's message" Joyce said.  
"Oh. . .good, uh, I'm gonna go to Spike's okay, he should know for sure" Buffy said.  
"Okay, well. . .don't be out too late, don't stay over there tonight all right" she said.  
"Okay, oh and for the record mom, Spike and I didn't do anything last night, in face we haven't done anything since-" she said, but Joyce cut in.  
"Honey, I really don't want to know about my seventeen year old daughter's love live okay" she said with a little uncomfortable smile.  
"Sorry" Buffy said and turned and started to walk away.  
"Oh and honey" Joyce said and Buffy turned around. "For the record, I'm happy with the news."  
"Me too" Buffy said and turned and left.  
Buffy almost ran to the elevator and up the stairs to Spike's apartment. She quickly knocked on his door and he answered.  
"Who in the bloody hell is tha-" he began and then stopped when he saw Buffy. "Oh hey luv."  
"Hi" she said, half smiling.  
"What with the manic ness?" he asked.  
"I have to tell you something, something very important" Buffy said.  
"Did the test come in?" he asked, growing more interested.  
"Yeah, can I come in?" she asked.  
"Uh, yeah sure of course" he said and opened the door wider so she could enter.  
"Okay" she said sitting down on the couch. "Just so you know, my mom and I have made up completely."  
"All right" he said also sitting.  
"We talked and she doesn't hate me" Buffy said.  
"Well I knew that already, nobody could hate you Buffy, not for long anyway, especially not your own mum" Spike said.  
"Well it was, and is has and will forever will be one of my greatest fears, that my mom will suddenly turn on me, that I'll lose her trust, her love, ever since I was little, when she fell out of love with me dad" Buffy told him.  
"But I thought you moved here because you're parents divorced" he said.  
"I did" Buffy said.  
"But you just moved here" he said, growing confused.  
"Spike my mom and dad have been out of love for awhile, ever since I was like ten, Dawnie was only four, they would fight and scream every night, Dawn and I used to share a bedroom and when we heard the first glass break, or the first scream, she'd come over and we'd lay together, trying not to be scared, but we were just kids, fear was in our blood. . .so we'd lay there, covering our ears and shutting our eyes, hoping that it would only be a small fight this time, like one of them stepped on the other's foot, or one of them took the remote from the other" Buffy explained.  
"But it was bigger?" Spike asked.  
"No. . .it was smaller, the stupidest thing and they'd. . .they'd throw things, yell scream, slam doors, he even hit her a few times, and she hit him a lot more times than that, their marriage wasn't good. . .it was like it would be like if Lucifer and Medusa got together" she said.  
"So they were both evil?" he asked.  
"To each other" Buffy told him.  
"But not to you and your sister?" he confirmed.  
"Not usually, sometimes they'd get caught up in yelling at each other, and one of us would ask a question and they'd yell at us, but not intentionally" Buffy explained.  
"Oh. . .so tell me, am I gonna be a father or. . .?" 'am I off the hook' he thought and shook is head regretting even thinking it.  
"Spike. . ."  
  
HA HA! ANOTHER! I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO GET REALLY INTERESTED IN READING THIS IS ALL. WELL IF YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT TO FIND OUT THE ANSWER. . .KEEP READING!!! 


	15. My dear loved ones

She took a deep breath and started to speak.  
"Spike. . .we're gonna have a baby" she said. He looked at her a little surprised at the news she had given him. He didn't say anything for like two minutes and then he just took her in his arms and hugged her.  
"I'll be there for you luv, I'll be a good pop I promise" he said. She smiled and kissed him passionately. He picked her up and carried her to his bedroom, there lips never leaving each other. He laid her on his bed and laid on top of her. He began kissing her from her lips to the base of her neck. Then he began unbuttoning her blouse.  
"I love you" she whispered.  
"I love you too baby" he said and gave her another passionate kiss.  
  
___________  
  
Spike woke in bed to find that Buffy wasn't there.  
"Buffy" he called, but there was no answer. He looked over to his right where she slept and found a piece of paper that read: Dear William,  
I'm sorry that I left without saying anything, but I didn't want to wake you. I promised my mom that I would be home tonight. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment and I would really love for you to be there. Come over my house at 12:30, that is if you can make it. Anyway I have to go. I love you baby,  
Buffy Spike looked over to the clock on the nightstand and it read 11:56. He laid back in bed and fell asleep.  
Buffy woke to the sound of her alarm clock. It was Sunday and usually she would sleep late on Sundays but today she had to go to the doctor for a checkup to make sure nothing was wrong with her baby. She groaned and got out of bed. She went into the bathroom to take a shower and was followed by Dawn.  
"Hi Buffy sleep well?" Dawn asked.  
"Yeah I did Dawnie thanks" Buffy said with a smile.  
Buffy are you gonna have a baby?" Dawn asked.  
"Yeah sweetie, I'm gonna have a baby" Buffy said. "Okay look kid I have to take a shower so I can go to the doctor all right, I'll be out in a few." Buffy turned on the water and stepped in the shower. After washing up she dried her hair and got dressed. She applied some eyes makeup and some blush. She wanted to look older than she was. Even though Wednesday she would be an adult for real. She walked downstairs where her mom Dawn and Spike were talking in the kitchen. 'I must not of heard the doorbell' Buffy thought and went over to greet him.  
'Hi baby" she said with a smile.  
"Hello ducks, you look nice today" he said also smiling. He smiled ever time he even heard her name.  
"Okay, everybody ready to go? All right let's go" Joyce said and they all, even Spike piled into Joyce's minivan.  
Joyce pulled into the doctor's office and everyone got out. They walked inside and Joyce informed the nurse that they were there.  
"Hi my name is Joyce Summers and my daughter Elizabeth is here for an appointment" Joyce informed him.  
"Okay who's her doctor?" he asked.  
"Uh, doctor Helen" Joyce said.  
"All right, she'll be right with you" he said.  
"Thank you" Joyce said and took a seat next to her daughters and Spike.  
"Mommy I'm thirsty" Dawn complained. Joyce got out her purse and gave Dawn a dollar.  
"Go and get something to drink honey" Joyce said. "Can someone go with her?"  
"I'll go" Spike said. "We'll only be a bit." They left.  
"You know honey, even though I'm still a little upset about all this I know that Spike loves you, and he'll be a good father" Joyce said.  
"I know he will" Buffy told her. Dawn and Spike were only gone for about five minutes and returned with four drinks.  
"How'd you get all that with a dollar?" Joyce asked.  
"Oh, I had some money too" Spike said as he handed Joyce a drink and then Buffy.  
"Thanks sweetie" Buffy said. Soon after the nurse called Buffy into he doctor's office. They walked into a hallway and then into a small room.  
"Doctor Helen will be right with you" he said and then left. The doctor came in ten minutes later.  
"Hello Buffy how are you today?" she asked.  
"I'm fine" Buffy said.  
"Any sickness?" she asked.  
"No, not since a couple days ago when I first came here" Buffy told her.  
"All right" the doctor said. She checked her out and confirmed that Buffy was four and a half weeks pregnant. She said that the pregnancy was normal and everything was fine.  
Monday once again came and Buffy met Willow outside the school. She told Spike not to tell Willow, that she wanted to.  
"So Buffy, what did you want to talk about?" Willow asked.  
"Okay Wills, I have to tell you something, about me and Spike" Buffy said.  
"All right, what's up?" Willow asked.  
"I'll only tell you if you promise you won't like look down on me or anything" Buffy said.  
"I promise" Willow told her.  
"Okay, well you know that Spike and I slept together right?" she whispered.  
"Yeah" Willow said.  
"Okay, well I'm. . .I'm pregnant" she whispered even lower, but Willow still heard.  
"Oh my god!" she yelled loudly and it seemed that everyone in the cafeteria stopped talking and looked at them.  
"Shhh! Will!" Buffy whispered loudly.  
"Sorry" Willow said, also bringing her voice to a whisper. "Does Spike know?"  
"Yeah, I told him. . .well not first, my mom found out first" Buffy said.  
"You told your mom?" Willow asked.  
"No, it's complicated, but she's okay with it now" Buffy said.  
"Oh, well are you two gonna get married?" Willow asked.  
"I don't know, we haven't talked about it" Buffy said, thinking about it. Did Spike want to marry her. He did say he'd be there for her and he'd always marry her, but. . .what if he didn't ask her. And then another thought came into her head. Should she ask him? She'd never heard of a woman asking a man to marry her before, but maybe she could. I mean why couldn't a woman ask a man? Was it like written in some book somewhere that it was illegal? If he didn't ask her in the next week, she'd ask him. Suddenly she felt hands wrap around her from behind and lips kissing her neck. She closed her eyes and leaned back on him. She finally turned around and looked at Spike and kissed him.  
"What was that for?" he asked. "I mean not that I mind."  
"I love you, you know that right?" she asked. "Of course, I love you too" he said and she kissed him again and the bell rang. They walked to their English class together. After class Spike went his way and Buffy went hers. She had definitely made up her mind. She would ask him. She didn't think he'd say no. I mean they did love each other.  
When Buffy got home she decided to plan things. She loved planning the future anyway. She sat on her bed doodling. First her in her wedding dress, then Spike in his tuxedo, and then their baby. She wrote their names over the pictures, Buffy, Spike and. . .well she didn't have a name for the baby yet. She thought back to her dream she had a while ago. She couldn't remember what the baby's name was. . .Amanda, no. . .Ally, no. . .Ashley that's it, Ashley Renee, if the baby was a girl she thought she might name her Ashley Renee. Yeah, Ashley Renee Bryson, that was cute, but what about a boy? She decided just to wait to find out the sex of the baby first. She rolled over so that she was laying on her back. She didn't know if it was safe to lay on her stomach. She got up and went downstairs to the kitchen where she found Dawn crying.  
"Dawnie, honey what's wrong?" Buffy asked as she sat next to Dawn at the kitchen table.  
"You're having a baby" she said through tears.  
"So" Buffy said.  
"So you're probably gonna get married and leave the house, and I'm not gonna see you anymore" she said. Buffy wiped Dawn's tears away.  
"Sweetie of course you'll still see me, and besides I'm not sure I'm gonna get married anyway" Buffy said.  
"But Cinderella was married when she had a baby" Dawn said, Buffy smiled.  
"Honey not everyone's life turns out like Cinderella's, look Dawnie no matter what, I will always be here for you, always, and I will always be your big sister okay" Buffy said, Dawn smiled too.  
"Promise?" she asked.  
"Sisters" Buffy said as she stuck out her pinky.  
"Forever" Dawn smiled as she hooked her pinky with Buffy's.  
"Now, do you want to help me eat a very huge tub of ice cream?" Buffy asked.  
"Okay, Buffy?" Dawn asked.  
"Yeah?" Buffy answered.  
"When the baby comes, can I help take care of it?" she asked.  
"Of course you can Dawnie" Buffy told her. Dawn put her arms around Buffy's neck and gave her a large hug. 


	16. Drama

"So, it's true isn't it?" a voice asked Buffy. She looked up from the book of baby names she was reading to find the biggest snob in the school, Glorianna standing in front of her.  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
"That you're knocked up, it's true right?" she said with a cruel smile on her face.  
"Yeah" Buffy admitted.  
"Well" Glory scoffed. "I guess we know what you're darkest fantasy is."  
"What are you talking about?" Buffy said, putting the book down.  
"Oh come on 'Elizabeth', make the badest, and might I add hottest guy in the school fall in love with you and then get knocked up with his baby, or maybe it's not his at all, maybe the fantasy goes deeper" Glory said.  
"You know Glory, you make me feel sorry I'm a blonde" Buffy said and got up, but Glory stepped in front of her.  
"I had a chance at Spike before you came along" she said harshly.  
"Oh please 'Glorianna', you wouldn't have a chance with Spike if all the skanks, which might I add, hardly measure up to you, left this town, he isn't interested in you okay, he loves me all right, 'me'" Buffy said.  
"Oh please honey" Glory said. "Passion doesn't have to be about love." She smiled once more and turned and walked away. Buffy looked on at her remembering what she had told Spike. She shook the thought out of her head when she saw the bleached blonde hottie coming her way.  
"Hi" she said happily.  
"Hey beautiful" he said and kissed her.  
"What are you doing here?" she asked, picking up her book again and sitting down.  
"Well pet, this is school you know, kind of mandatory" he said with a small smile.  
"I just meant, here, I thought you had chem. this period" she said.  
"Well I do, but just because I'm in school doesn't mean I'm gonna go to class" he said. She smiled. She loved the way he was bad, but not in a crack head criminal in jail for life for committing murder sort of way.  
"I see" she said, and got back to reading.  
"What are you reading?" he asked.  
"Just a book of baby names, I think I know what to name it if it's a girl, but I'm not sure, and I have no idea for a boy" she said.  
"Hmm, well luv I have to tell you I'm against the name Corky already" he said when he looked at the notes she had written in the book.  
"Well me too kind of, I just thought it'd be different that's all" she said.  
"Yeah it'd be different all right, he'd be branded a wanker all his life, do you really want that for our son?" he asked. She smiled. What?"  
"Nothing, it's just that, it's the first time either of us has referred to the baby as 'our' anything, it's just been the baby or, it," she said.  
"Well get used to it luv" he said and then kissed her lightly on the lips. She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. He put her arm around her and hugged her.  
"I love you so much" she whispered.  
"I love you too baby" he whispered back and kissed her on her head.  
When Buffy arrived home she saw a car in the driveway that she didn't recognize. She went inside and to her surprise her father was sitting in the living room with her mom and sister. Buffy's mouth dropped when she saw the sight of her father.  
"Buffy, you're home" Joyce said.  
"Uh. . .yeah, wh-what are you. . .I mean why are you-" Buffy tired to ask.  
"I called him sweetie and asked if he could come down" Joyce explained.  
"But why?" Buffy asked astonished.  
"Well you couldn't just expect me to stay in L.A. knowing that my little Lizzie bear was here and. . ." he said and then looked towards her abdomen. "Pregnant." Buffy covered her abdomen with her arms.  
"Don't call me that, and don't sit there and pretend that you care" Buffy said.  
"Buffy" Joyce scolded.  
"What? We've been here for what like almost three months and even before that, when we moved out, we lived in L.A. for almost a year and a half after you two broke up, and he never once wanted to spend time with us or anything, it's like now that he wasn't married he didn't have to deal with the burden of kids too, look I don't care why you've come and I don't care, don't expect me to hug and kiss and make up just because you've decided you want some part at our lives, well guess what, I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm not that same little girl that would wait up for you those nights you spent with your glass of beer instead of at home with us all right, so don't even bother" Buffy said and then went upstairs to her room. When she was in her room she picked up the phone and called Spike, then Willow, then Xander and then Oz and last Cordelia. She told all of them to meet her at the Bronze. She just wanted a night with the love of her life and her best friends.  
Buffy got ready. She wanted to dress hot. She wanted to show her father that she wasn't that nine-year-old little girl anymore. She went into her closet and got out a black leather skirt and red leather halter- top. She put on her black leather boots and curled her hair. She put on some dark eye shadow and some black mascara. She put on some dark red lipstick and got her red leather jacket and her purse to match. After she was done dressing and getting ready she went downstairs.  
"Mom I'll be back by eleven all right" she said and headed towards the door.  
"Elizabeth Summers you get back here right now" Joyce said, and Buffy backtracked to the couch.  
"Where do you think you're going, and dressed like that?" Joyce asked.  
"Look mom, I'm pregnant all right, pretty soon I'm not gonna be able to wear this, and I'm just going to the Bronze, I just need to dance off some stress" Buffy told her mother. "Look please mom, I'm gonna be eighteen tomorrow, just let me go."  
"Fine, but be home by eleven, no later you hear me" Joyce said.  
"Okay, I will" Buffy promised and left.  
When Buffy got to the Bronze all of her friends were already there.  
"Buffy, you look. . ." Xander said trying to find the words.  
"Hot" Spike finished his sentence.  
"Well thank you baby I'm glad you think so" Buffy told Spike and then kissed him.  
"Uh. . .baby?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah" Buffy answered with a smile.  
"Sweet heart is something wrong?" he asked as she sat next to him and he put his arm around her.  
"No, why?" she asked.  
"Well it's just that. . ." he said, searching for an answer.  
"It's just that you know you come in here dressed like coyote Buffy and. . ." Xander said also trying to finish his sentence.  
"And we're just concerned" Willow finally stated.  
"Guys I'm fine okay I promise, I just want to have a little fun, so come on let's dance" Buffy said pulling Spike up and dragging him to the dance floor.  
"Is anybody else very afraid?" Xander asked.  
"Totally, Buffy's like slut-o-rama, this isn't like her" Cordelia said.  
"Well I just think she's going through something" Willow said.  
"Oh she's going through something all right, I mean look at that outfit, even I wouldn't wear that" Cordelia said.  
"Well on the bright side, she's having a good time" Oz said, Willow smiled as she looked at her friend.  
"I wonder when she's gonna start showing" Willow said.  
"Showing what?" Cordelia asked.  
"The baby, I wonder when it's gonna start showing, you know I wonder when she gonna-" Willow said, but Cordelia cut in.  
"What get fat?" she asked as they continued to watch Buffy and Spike dance sexily.  
"No, not fat, pregnant, you know" Willow said. When the song ended Buffy gave Spike a passionate kiss and everyone in the club seemed to look at them.  
"I love you baby" he said quietly.  
"I love you too" she said and they walked back to their seats as their friends stared at them.  
"What?" he asked.  
"Nothing it's just that you two looked very um. . ." Xander said.  
"What, happy?" Buffy asked and Xander decided to take that answer.  
"Yeah, happy" he said.  
"I am" Buffy lied, and Spike knew she was lying.  
"Really?" he said skeptical.  
"Yeah, why?" she asked.  
"Nothing it's just that you seem. . .distant, that's all" he said.  
"No, no I'm not, not distant, just. . .it's loud up here, tonight, that's all" she said, pointing to her head.  
"Anything I can do to help?" he asked.  
"Well" she said smiling, moving closer to him and quieting her voice to a whisper. "I think that there are some things that totally make everything go away."  
"Yeah?" he said also smiling.  
"Mm hmm" she said.  
"Well, one more dance and we're out of here" he said as her favorite song came on.  
"Okay" she said still smiling and she put her hand in his and he led her to the dance floor.  
  
I CAN FEEL THE MAGIC FLOATING IN THE AIR BEING WITH YOU GETS ME THAT WAY I WATCH THE SUNLIGHT DANCE ACROSS YOUR FACE AND I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS SWEPT AWAY  
  
Buffy closed her eyes and snuggled her face in his shoulder and breathed deeply with relaxation as they glided across the dance floor. She had never felt more love for him then in this very moment. She thought her heart might burst with love even. She loved him more than anything in life and now she was having his baby.  
  
ALL MY THOUGHTS JUST SEEM TO SETTLE ON THE BREEZE WHEN I'M LYING WRAPPED UP IN YOUR ARMS THE WHOLE WORLD JUST FADES AWAY THE ONLY THING I HEAR IS THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART  
  
Spike could feel Buffy's relaxation and he felt it too. The warmth of her. He pulled her closer and closed his eyes as they continued to dance. Xander, Willow, Oz and Cordelia watched with awe as Buffy and Spike danced.  
"They really do make a great couple" Willow said.  
"Yeah, that's one lucky baby" Xander said.  
  
'CAUSE I CAN FEEL YOU BREATHE IT'S WASHING OVER ME AND SUDDENLY I'M MELTING INTO YOU THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO PROVE BABY ALL WE NEED IS JUST A BEAT CAUGHT UP IN THE TOUCH A SLOW AND STEADY RUSH BABY ISN'T THAT THE WAY THAT LOVE'S SUPPOSED TO BE I CAN FEEL YOU BREATHE JUST BREATHE  
  
"Spike?" Buffy asked.  
"Yeah luv?" Spike answered, their eyes still closed.  
"Will you marry me?" Buffy asked. Spike broke away from their stance and looked at her totally surprised. Buffy just looked back.  
"What did you say?" he asked.  
"I asked if you would-" she began.  
"It was rhetorical I heard what you bloody said" he said.  
"Well I mean you love me right?" she asked.  
"Of course I do" he told her.  
"And we're gonna be parents, look baby it's just that. . .I was afraid that you wouldn't ask me, so I decided to make the first move for once" she said.  
"I didn't know you wanted to get married" he said.  
"That's because you've never asked" she said slyly.  
"I don't know about this" Spike said.  
"What, so you can bang me, but you can't marry me right?" Buffy asked, getting annoyed.  
"That's not true, it's just that. . .I never thought about marriage" Spike said, and this made Buffy even more angry.  
"What? You mean to tell me that. . .even after I told you I was pregnant you never once thought of asking me to marry you?" she said, her voice growing louder.  
"Come on luv, keep your bloody voice down" Spike said.  
"No Spike I won't, answer my question" she said.  
"I just. . .I guess no, I mean we're so young" Spike said.  
"What!" Buffy shouted. "What do you mean we're too young? You have some nerve you know that, you're not too young to have sex, but yeah you're way too young to get married, you're not too young to be a father- or. . .what about the baby? Are you bailing on that too?"  
"Buffy, luv-" he began.  
"Don't call me that" she said coldly.  
"Look, I'm not bailing okay, I just. . ." he said.  
"What? You just what? You delivered the package and now you're gone?" she asked metaphorically.  
"Well you did sign for it sweet heart" he said.  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don't want the baby?" she asked with tears streaming down from her eyes now. "You don't want me?"  
"Come on luv, don't cry I-" he started to say and wipe the tears away with his thumb, but she moved away.  
"Don't touch me. . .Spike I. . .I love you more than anything" she said, now starting to cry.  
"Baby I love you too, and I want the baby, look all of this came out wrong okay. . .I'm sorry if I never thought about marriage, I was just thinking about you and the baby, I wanted everything to be okay with the two of you" Spike said.  
"We're fine" Buffy said.  
"Buffy. . .I. . .I would love to marry you, but let me do it right okay, let me propose to you" Spike said.  
"Okay" Buffy said smiling and jumped into his arms and they continued to dance.  
  
I CAN FEEL THE MAGIC FLOATING IN THE AIR BEING WITH YOU GETS ME THAT WAY  
  
As the song ended Buffy and Spike once again made their way to their seats.  
"Hey, what was going on over there?" Willow asked.  
"Yeah, we saw all the drama and stuff" Cordelia said.  
"We're fine" Buffy said smiling.  
"Okay" Xander said.  
"We're gonna get out of here" Spike said taking Buffy's hand.  
'Yeah, see you guys tomorrow" Buffy said and went out of the club with Spike. As they approached his car she stopped him to give him another kiss.  
"What was that for?" he asked.  
"I need a reason now?" she asked playfully.  
"Of course not" he said and kissed her again. They got in the care and drove to Spike's place. When they got in the door Spike immediately started kissing her, but she pulled away.  
"Baby, if you don't mind I'd just like to go to sleep, I'm really tired and I'm not feeling well" she said.  
"Well you could sleep at you're place, why did you come here?" he asked, kind of annoyed. She looked at her feet and he softened his tone and tilted her head up to look at him. "I'm sorry baby, look we don't have to do anything you don't want." He took her hand and led her to his room and they laid there together. She curled up close to him and he wrapped his arms around her and she closed her eyes and fell asleep. As he laid there he thought of what was to come. He knew that she knew he was going to propose to her, but he wanted it to be perfect. He kissed her on the head before going to sleep himself. 


	17. Birthday girl

Buffy looked in the mirror. She had just taken a shower and she hadn't dressed yet. She just wanted to check herself over. She didn't know why Spike loved her. She didn't think she was pretty. Today was her birthday and she thought that she should be happy, but she. . .it wasn't that she wasn't, she just. . .she didn't feel like she thought she would. She got dressed and went to wake Spike.  
"Spike, come on baby get up" she said. Spike opened his eyes slightly.  
"What?" he said a little annoyed, she smiled and kissed him on the lip lightly.  
"Come on baby you don't want me to be alone on my birthday do you?" she asked, this made him get up.  
"That's right, it is you're birthday isn't it" he said with a smile and went to the closet.  
"What are you doing?" she asked.  
"Well the tradition is that you get presents on your birthday, and it is your birthday so. . ." he said and got out a large box and handed it to her.  
"Wow, thank you sweetie" Buffy said and kissed him.  
"Go ahead, open it" he said with a grin. She took off the lid to reveal a smaller box. She did this four more times before revealing the last box. It was dark blue velvet. She opened it and saw a diamond engagement ring.  
"Oh my god!" she said and looked up at him.  
"Miss Elizabeth Summers" he said as he took the ring from her and knelt down on one knee. "I. . .wasn't a good person before I met you, hell I was shallow. . .but you. . .make me want to be. . .better than I am, and for that I love you, you are really brave, asking me to marry you, but it should be this way, I'm on my knees asking you, will you be my wife?"  
"I. . ." she said, trying not to cry. "Yes." He slid the ring on her finger and got up and took her in his arms, picked her up and swung her around. After 360 degrees he put her down and kissed her.  
"I love you" he said with a smile.  
"I love you too. . .Spike, when did you get this ring?" she asked.  
"Well I've had it luv" he said.  
"But I thought you said-" she began, but he put his index finger up to her lips to stop her.  
"I know what said pet, see my great, great, great grandmother first got this ring from my grandfather, and she gave it to her grandson and so on, and so forth, and my father gave it to me, to give to the woman I wanted to marry" he told her. She smiled and snuggled against him.  
"It's beautiful" she whispered.  
"All right, we'd better get going, we don't want to be late for school right?" Spike said.  
"Since when do you care about school?" Buffy asked playfully.  
"Well I don't. . .but I don't think your mum would like it much if you skipped school luv" Spike said and Buffy's eyes went wide.  
"Oh my god, my mom! I didn't call her and tell her I was staying here!" she said franticly and grabbed her purse.  
'Where are you going?" Spike asked.  
'Home, I'll see you at school baby okay, I love you bye" Buffy said and kissed him before she quickly left.  
Buffy took the bus home. She thought it was stupid not to just have Spike drive her home. It would be so much quicker. Finally the bus stopped at Buffy's stop and she got off and ran home. 'Thank god I'm not fat yet' she thought as she opened the door to her house and entered.  
"Buffy sweetie there you are" Joyce said.  
"Mom. . .hi I. . .uh. . .I'm sorry I didn't. . .didn't call I was just so. . .so tired" Buffy said out of breath.  
"Here, honey sit down, it's not good for you to run when you're pregnant" Joyce said and pulled a chair out for her daughter.  
"Thank you" Buffy said, catching her breath. "So are you mad at me?"  
"No, besides, you're eighteen now, you can do anything you want, I can't control you anymore" Joyce said, and then a smile came over her face. "But then again, I've never been able to really control you have I?"  
"I'm sorry" Buffy said.  
"For what?" Joyce asked.  
"I never meant to hurt you mom, I love you, I'm sorry to disappoint you" Buffy said.  
"Oh sweetie, it's okay, you didn't, well you sort of did, but I'm over it, and all I want is what's best for you and the baby" Joyce said.  
"Thanks mom, oh look" Buffy said, remembering the ring on her finger.  
"Oh my god! You're engaged, that's so great honey I'm so happy for you" Joyce said happily.  
"Thank you" Buffy smiled.  
"Okay, well you'd better get to school, tonight we'll celebrate you're birthday, since you don't want a party we'll just have you me, Dawnie and a couple of your friends, and of course your fiancé" Joyce said. That made Buffy smile. Hearing Spike being called her fiancé was wonderful to her. She loved him so much and now he was going to be her husband. She got her stuff and her mother drove her to school.  
"Happy birthday Buffy!" Willow said happily as she hugged her friend.  
"Thanks Will" Buffy said.  
"So, eighteen, how does it feel?" Willow asked.  
"It. . .surprisingly it doesn't feel really different, I mean I'm happy, I'm an adult now, and I can make my own decisions, it feels good" Buffy said with a small smile.  
"Well I can't wait 'til I turn eighteen, not for another four months" Willow said.  
"Okay, tonight, I'm not having a party, but just a little get together, you're coming right?" Buffy asked.  
"Of course" Willow said.  
"Good, have you seen Spike?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh, no, but didn't you spend the night with him?" Willow asked.  
"Yeah, but I want to make sure he's coming" Buffy said. Willow's eyes shifted to her left hand where her ring was.  
"Oh my god, Buffy!" Willow exclaimed, which startled Buffy.  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
"You're getting engaged, when were you going to tell me?" Willow said.  
"Oh, I'm sorry Will, but yeah, I'm getting married" Buffy said.  
"I'm so happy for you" Willow said.  
"Thank you, I'm happy for me too" Buffy said. Suddenly she felt someone tickle her from behind and quickly turned around to find Spike standing there.  
"Hey" he said. She smiled.  
"Hi honey" she said and he kissed her.  
"Hey baby" he said.  
"Spike, congrats on the engagement" Willow said.  
"Thanks Wills" Spike said and took Buffy's hand. "Come on birthday girl, we have class" he said and pulled her away.  
The day went quickly and soon it was the end of the day. Spike dropped Buffy off at home and went back to his place to get ready for tonight.  
"So, how does it look?" Buffy asked her mom and sister. She was wearing a pink dress that was about one inch above her knee. She had on a pink lace top over the spaghetti strapped dress. On her feet were pink shoes to match.  
"Buffy, you look a 21st century Cinderella" Dawn said and Buffy laughed.  
"Thanks Dawnie" she said. Buffy looked down at the dress. It looked like a two-piece, but wasn't. on the top part were pink roses and towards the bottom were tiny little shiny diamond like beads, which were also pink. "You don't think it's too much pink do you? I mean I don't look like Pepto- Bismol do I?"  
"No sweetie the dress is beautiful and you look beautiful in it" Joyce said.  
"Thanks mom" Buffy said.  
"Oh honey, your father wants to come tonight, will that be all right?" Joyce asked.  
"No, I don't want my birthday ruined.  
'It won't be, honey he's really trying" Joyce said.  
"Why are you defending him?" Buffy asked.  
"I'm not, but just give him a chance okay" Joyce said.  
"Please Buffy" Dawn begged. The desperation in her little sister's eyes was enough for her to give in.  
"Fine" she said.  
"Good, I'll call him" Joyce said. Buffy went upstairs to finish getting ready. She curled her hair and put on some makeup. Finally it was six o'clock and everyone arrived. The first being Spike.  
"Hey luv, you look wonderful" he said.  
"Thank you" she said and kissed him.  
"Here" he said and handed her a long rectangular shaped wrapped box.  
"What's this?" she asked.  
"It's your birthday gift" he said.  
"Honey I though that this was my gift" she said and held out her hand.  
"No, well sort of, but not really" he said.  
"Well thank you" she said. Soon everyone else came, Willow, Oz, Cordelia and Xander.  
"All right, present time" Joyce said.  
"Wait mom, dad isn't here yet" Buffy said.  
"Oh, well, we can start without him" Joyce said.  
"Okay" Buffy said and Dawn handed her the first box. "All right this is from. . .oh Cordelia" she said and opened the it to reveal a lingerie nightgown that was black lace and partly see through. "Wow."  
"Well, you can't have a wedding night without something like that so there you go" Cordelia said.  
"Thanks Cordy" Buffy said.  
"All right, me next" Willow said and gave her the gift bag. Buffy opened it and pulled out designer perfume and a gift certificate to a spa.  
"Thanks Will, this is awesome" Buffy said.  
"You're welcome" Willow said with a smile. Next went Oz and then Xander and then finally Spike. Buffy opened the box to reveal a gold heart shaped locket.  
"Baby this is beautiful" Buffy said.  
"You like it?" he asked.  
"I love it thank you" she said and kissed him.  
"Open it" he said. She opened it and inside was a picture of him on the left side and the right side wasn't filled. "See when we get the first picture of the baby you can put it there" he said and pointed to the empty spot. Buffy could feel her eyes filling with tears. She looked at Spike and she felt so lucky to be with him, to be having his child.  
"Thank you" she whispered, intending it to be only for him. He moved his face so it was only inches from hers.  
"You're welcome baby" he said and kissed her lightly on the lips.  
"Okay, who wants cake?" Joyce asked, pulling Buffy out of her dreamy gaze at Spike.  
"Ooh, me!" Dawn said happily.  
"Me too" Willow said and followed Dawn and Joyce into the kitchen.  
  
"I'm gonna go get cake too" Cordelia said and took Xander's hand.  
"You guys want?" Xander asked Oz, Buffy and Spike.  
"Sure, right behind you" Oz said.  
"Me too" Spike said. "You coming luv?" he asked Buffy.  
"In a minute" Buffy said.  
"All right, you all right?" he asked.  
"Yeah, fine" Buffy said. Spike and Oz and Xander and Cordelia went into the kitchen. Buffy got up off the carpet where she was sitting and went outside. She decided to wait for her dad out there. Even though she was very angry with him she did want him there. Deep down she always wished her dad wanted to be in her life all the time, she was just too stubborn to admit it. After about twenty minutes of being outside the front door opened and Spike came out to join her.  
"Hey luv" he said and sat down on the steps with her.  
"Hi" she said quietly with a sad look on her face. She knew that her father wasn't coming. The party was almost over and he was a no show.  
"What's the matter per?" he asked.  
"He's not coming" Buffy said.  
"Who?" Spike asked.  
"My dad. . .but I shouldn't be surprised, he just. . .it's what he does, he's the king at letting his daughters down, the story I told you a couple days ago wasn't the complete truth, you know the one about my parents. My dad was always absentee, he. . .he hid behind . . .he hid behind anything that would keep him away from us, it's always been that way, always" Buffy said.  
"Well didn't you not want him here?" Spike asked her.  
"I guess, but part of me hoped he'd come. . .am I a bad person?" she asked, looking at him.  
"What, no of course not" he said.  
"Well then why do I deserve this? Why does my dad only want to be in my life when it's convenient for him?" Buffy asked, tears starting to fall. "God, my life is like a soap opera."  
"Honey, it's not your fault, if you're pop doesn't want to be in your life it's his loss, not yours" he said.  
"No. . .you make a baby, you raise her, in those years of her growing up, when do you realize that you don't want this, that you don't care anymore? Where in my and Dawn's life did he realize, that he didn't want to be a dad anymore?" she asked. He moved closer to her and she leaned into him.  
"Baby, it's your birthday, you don't deserve to feel sad" he said.  
"I can't help it" she said.  
"Come on, let's go inside" he said.  
"Spike, can I come home with you tonight?" Buffy asked.  
"Of course" he said. And they went back inside.  
They party ended soon after that and everyone began to leave. They said their goodbyes and then left. Soon the only ones in the house were Joyce, Dawn, Buffy and Spike.  
"Okay, mom I'm gong home with Spike tonight" Buffy said.  
"Oh, well. . .all right, again?" she asked.  
'Yeah, you don't care do you?" Buffy asked.  
"No, I guess not" Joyce said.  
"Okay, I'm gonna go get some stuff" she said and kissed Spike on the cheek before running upstairs.  
"Excuse me for a moment" Joyce said and followed her daughter. "Buffy honey."  
"Hey mom, what's wrong?" Buffy asked.  
"Nothing, well. . .I'm sorry that your father didn't make it" Joyce said.  
"Yeah, well I'm not surprised" Buffy said.  
"Are you okay?" Joyce asked.  
"Yeah, I'm fine, I don't' need him to love me, I have other people who do, you, Dawn, my friends, and Spike, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him" Buffy said.  
"Well you do, and you have everyone else too" Joyce said.  
'I know" Buffy said as she finished getting her stuff together and her and Joyce went back downstairs.  
"Okay pet, ready to go?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah, all set" Buffy said and she and Spike left. On the way to Spike place Buffy thought of what her father abandoning her really meant. Was it her fault? Or did he just. . .no care about anything? She just wished that she had a normal life. She just wished her parents could get along. Finally she came to the conclusion that maybe some people weren't meant to have that life, some people just weren't meant to have the Rockwellian Portrait, the house, the two-car garage, the picket fence, the Golden Retriever, and the doting mum and dad. No matter how much she wanted it she knew that it would never happen. With that in mind she decided that her children would have all of that. She promised herself never to fall out of love with Spike and she didn't know how it was possible to. She loved him so much and she knew that she would for the rest of her life. As Spike pulled into the apartment complex Buffy sighed. Her life from now forward would be perfect. 


	18. In holy matrimony

HEY GUYS! THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. I'VE BEEN GOING DAY BY DAY, BUT THIS CHAPTER IS A COUPLE MONTHS LATER. THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE SAME. ENJOY!!!!  
  
Two and a half months passed and now Buffy stood in front of the full- length mirror looking at herself. Today was her wedding. She felt butterflies in her stomach. Suddenly she heard the door opened and turned around to see Willow.  
"Hey Will" Buffy said.  
"Hi, how are you doing?" Willow asked.  
"All right, nervous, I mean I shouldn't be nervous, I mean we've already slept together, so we literally know each other in every aspect, I don't know why I'm so nervous" Buffy said.  
"Everyone is nervous on their wedding day" Willow said.  
"Yeah" Buffy sighed. Her mom entered with Dawn and Cordelia.  
"Oh sweetie, you look amazing" Joyce said.  
"Thank you, thankfully I'm not that fat yet, so the dress looks okay," Buffy said.  
"It looks beautiful," Cordelia said.  
"Thanks, okay. . .is it almost time?" Buffy asked anxious.  
"Almost, like ten minutes." Joyce said.  
"Okay" Buffy said.  
"Buffy I'm so happy you found your prince, just like Cinderella" Dawn said.  
"Me too" Buffy smiled. She couldn't wait to see Spike. She looked at the clock and it read 12:20. in ten minutes they would be playing the processional and Buffy would walk down the aisle. She looked at her mother, then at her sister, and then at her friends. Some of her bridal party wasn't there yet. "Mom, where's Bridget, Lexi and Ally? You said they were coming."  
"They'll be here soon" Joyce assured her daughter.  
"And who are they again?" Cordelia asked.  
"Just some friends from L.A. I called them like three weeks ago and told them everything and they said they'd be here, Will thank you for being my maid of honor, and Cordy, my matron of honor" Buffy said to them.  
"You're welcome sweetie, I'm just so happy for you and Spike my two best friends, getting married" Willow smiled.  
"Yeah, it's terrific" Cordelia said. Just then three girls walked into the room. One with blonde hair like Buffy's except it wasn't long like Buffy's. It was above her shoulders and curly. The second girl had brown hair, which was very long to the middle of her back like Buffy's was except it was dark brown. The last girl also had long hair, which was light brown, streaked with auburn.  
"Lexi, Ally, Bridget, I'm so happy to see you!" Buffy said as she hugged the three girls.  
"Aw, we're happy to see you too Lizzie" one girl, the one with blonde hair said.  
"I thought she liked to be called Buffy" Willow whispered to Dawn.  
"Oh, that's what she does like to be called, everyone in our family calls her Buffy, they're the only ones that call her Lizzie" Dawn said and rolled her eyes.  
"Oh, uh, Bridget, Lexi, Ally, these are my new friends Willow Rosenberg and Cordelia Chase, Cordy, Will these are my other friends, this is Alexis Haskell" Buffy said as she pointed to the girl with light brown hair. "This is Bridget Mandini" she said, pointing to the blonde haired girl. "And this is Allyson Ross" she said as she pointed to the girl with dark brown hair.  
"Nice to meet you" Willow said.  
"Yeah, charmed" Allyson said in a 'I'm better than you' sort of way. Suddenly the quartet started playing.  
"It's time! It's time," Buffy said excitedly.  
"Yeah, all right Dawnie, remembered just how we practiced" Joyce said. Dawn was Buffy's flower girl. She went out first, followed by the bride's maids. Finally the quartet played the bride's song and Buffy slowly walked down the aisle accompanied by Xander. Since her father was no show like always she asked Xander to walk her down the aisle and he accepted. When they reached the end of the aisle Xander kissed Buffy on the forehead and stood behind Spike. Xander was also Spike's best man.  
"We are gathered here today to join in holy matrimony these two young souls, William Connor Bryson and Elizabeth Anne Summers, please join hands," the minister said and they turned to each other and joined hands. "Today you will join and be husband and wife, who gives this woman to this man today?"  
"I do" Joyce said with a smile.  
"Please repeat after me, 'I William take you Elizabeth ,'" the minister said.  
"I William take you Elizabeth" Spike said smiling.  
"'To be my lawfully wedded wife'" the minister said.  
"To be my lawfully wedded wife" Spike repeated.  
"'In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, from now and forward, until death parts us'"  
"In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, from now and forward, until death parts us" Spike repeated again. Buffy did the same repeating the same words.  
"At this time, William and Elizabeth would like to recite their own vows they wrote especially for each other, William" the minister said.  
"Buffy. . .before I met you I don't think I was a good person, and maybe I wasn't, but. . .the moment you came into my life, something inside of me changed, and I said to myself, 'I'm gonna get that girl' and hey obviously I did otherwise we wouldn't be standing here" he said and everyone in the church laughed slightly and Buffy let out a chuckle through tears. "Mistakes were made, and people got hurt and that I regret, but I'll tell you one thing I don't and will never regret, you, I cannot express how much you mean to me, the words I'm spitting don't even come close to how I feel about you, I love you more than anything in life, I never thought in my entire life that I would find someone that you make me feel this way, and knowing that 'you' fell in love with me. . .for the life of me I don't know why, but I'm glad you did, and I thank you for that, Elizabeth I promise to love, cherish and honor this marriage for as long as I live, to love you and our child forever, as long as I'm breathing I will make sure you know how much I love you." Buffy looked at him, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
"Elizabeth" the minister said.  
"Spike, I. . .before I met you I was. . .well I don't want to say shallow so I'll just say frivolous" Buffy said and all the guests laughed. "I thought that it mattered, what I wore, my makeup, if my hair was curly, straight, long or short, I was material, material things were the things that were eminent to me, love just seemed like. . .something for me to throw aside and put in my shiny red convertible" she said, which was followed by more laughter. "As I little girl I read fairy tales about the prince who would carry away the damsel and protect her from the world, but I was too stubborn to admit that I needed protecting, that I needed a man, and then I met you and you turned my world into one big fairy tale, you swept me away and I got scared, but I soon realized that it was that very fear that was blowing out the flame, that I needed, that love was leaving and I was doing nothing to stop it and that's when I was forever changed, and I love you so much for changing me, I was headed for the path of loneliness and I was gonna stay that way forever, if it weren't for you, thank you so much William for being my prince."  
"With the power vested in my by the state of California I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your beautiful bride" the minister said with a smile and Spike leaned in to kiss Buffy.  
"I love you" he whispered.  
"I love you too," she whispered back before their lips touched. All the guests clapped as Buffy and Spike made their way back up the aisle and into the horse drawn carriage that awaited them. After being seated in the carriage they made out while it took them to the reception all. Once there they hurried in egger to party.  
"Introducing for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. William Bryson, congrats guys," the deejay said happily. They took their seats next to each other.  
"Son" Spike's father said and they both turned to him. He had been in England and Buffy had never met him before a couple weeks before the wedding.  
"Hey pop" Spike said.  
'I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for the both of you" Mr. Bryson said.  
"Thanks pop" Spike said.  
"Thank you" Buffy said.  
"All right, let's get moving" the deejay said. "Newlyweds get your butts over here for the bride and groom dance." Spike and Buffy walked hand in hand to the middle of the dance floor. In Buffy's dream she had requested 'I will always love you' by Whitney Huston, and she decided to choose that one in reality also. As the song played they danced and she closed her eyes as he held her close. She smiled. She couldn't believe she was married to him. They danced and when the song was over he kissed her.  
"I love you so much" he said.  
"I love you too baby" she said. After the first dance they took their seats again and people started making toasts. First of all Xander.  
"All right everyone can I have your attention please, thank you, all right, I haven't known Buffy for long, but I've known Spike my whole life and I'm so happy that he found someone who would fall for his 'I'm bad but sweet act' 'cause he had trouble with that for awhile" Xander said and the guests laughed. "To my old friend and my new one, congratulations guys, I just hope you too have a long and healthy marriage, you both deserve it."  
"Thanks bro" Spike said. They partied until like 4:00 in the morning and then Spike and Buffy went to their hotel until they had to catch their plane, which was only a couple hours later. They had to be at the airport at 7:30 to catch the plane at 9:00.  
"Baby wake up, come on pet we're going to be late for our plane" Spike said.  
"Okay, I'm up" Buffy said as she rolled over and smiled at Spike. "Hey husband."  
"Hello wife" he smiled.  
"I'm so happy to be married to you" she said.  
"I'm so happy to be married to you too baby" he told her and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. "All right, come on" he said. They gathered up all of their things and checked out of the hotel so they could catch their plane. They got to the airport just in time. Once they were on the plane they were more relaxed.  
"Tahiti here we come" Buffy smiled.  
"Yep, to out honeymoon" Spike said. They spent most of the time sleeping. They were so tired from the reception. Once in Tahiti they checked into the hotel.  
"Isn't this beautiful" Buffy said in awe as she looked over the balcony over the city.  
"Yeah, it is" Spike said.  
"What should we do first?" Buffy asked. Spike smiled seductively and took Buffy's hand.  
"Oh, I'm sure I can think of something" he said and led her into the bedroom. 


	19. The dreaded ex

YO! ALL RIGHT I KNOW THAT I SAID THAT THIS CHAPTER WAS GONNA BE A COUPLE MONTHS INTO THE FUTURE, BUT I FORGOT ABOUT THE HONEYMOON, AND EVERY WEDDING HAS TO HAVE A HONEYMOON. SO IT'S NOT REALLY THE FUTURE, BUT HOPE YOU ENJOY ANYWAY!!!! OH AND IF YOU'RE THE AUTHOR OF EITHER "WHAT LOVE MADE" OR "FRIENDS OR MAYBE MORE" PLEASE x FIVE BILLION, GAZILLION AND OTHER NUMBERS, PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!! I'M JONESING HERE!!!!! UPDATE!!!! THANKS.  
  
Buffy sat barefoot in the sand. The sun was shining high and the breeze was perfect. Her long blonde hair blew lightly in the invisible wind. Suddenly she felt a kiss being planted on her neck and smiled.  
"Hey baby" he said.  
"Hi" she said softly. She leaned in and rested her head on his chest.  
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.  
"Us. . .the baby, everything, Spike we have to move" Buffy said.  
"What? Move from where?" he asked.  
"Your apartment, it only has one bedroom honey" she said.  
"Oh, yeah. . .well I. . ." he said. "Where do you propose we move to exactly?" he asked.  
"I don't know but we have to move somewhere with the baby and-" she started but he cut her off.  
"Why is it that every conversation we have involves the baby?" he asked a little annoyed.  
"Well excuse me if I'm thinking rationally and not just about sex" Buffy said with the same annoyance in her voice as she turned to face him.  
"That's not all I bloody think about, but it wouldn't kill you to think about it sometimes" he said and she smiled.  
"Honey listen to us, we sound like an old married couple" Buffy said sweetly.  
"Yeah you're right" he said and she hugged him.  
"Come on, I feel in the mood for lots and lots of sugary goodness" she said.  
"Ice cream?" he asked.  
"Yes please" she said with a smile. They got up and walked to a little ice cream stand that was up the beach. As they were ordering Buffy heard a woman's voice.  
"William!" the woman said. Buffy and Spike turned around to find a brown haired woman standing there.  
"Drusilla, oh my god how are you" Spike said and hugged her.  
"I'm good" the girl, apparently named Drusilla said in the same English accent as Spike.  
"So, what brings you to Tahiti?" Spike asked.  
"Oh, I'm just here on retreat, you?" she asked.  
"Oh, I'm here on my honeymoon, uh Dru this is Buffy my wife, Buffy sweetheart this is Drusilla, an old friend" Spike said.  
"An old girlfriend actually" Drusilla smirked.  
"Oh, how. . .comfy, Spike seems to have a lot of those" Buffy said.  
"So, William, married wow" Drusilla said seemingly disappointed that Spike was married.  
"Yeah, and. . .having a baby" Spike said as he put his hand on Buffy's stomach she put her hands over his and smiled.  
"A. . .a baby? Well h-how far a, uh, a long are you?" Drusilla chocked.  
"Uh. . .two and a half months" Buffy said.  
"Wow" Drusilla said again. "So, do you want to go and. . .catch up?"  
"Uh, sure" Spike said.  
"Um honey, I'm kinda tired, so u-um-" Buffy began.  
"Oh it's okay luv you go, I can go alone" Spike said. 'I'll bet you can' Buffy thought to herself.  
"Uh, o-ok" Buffy said.  
"I'll be back in a bit" Spike said and kissed her on her forehead.  
"All right, see ya, uh Drusilla, nice to meet you" Buffy said.  
"Yeah" Drusilla said and Buffy went up to the hotel.  
It was about eight o'clock when Spike returned from his little adventure with slutsill- I mean Drusilla.  
"So, have fun?" Buffy asked annoyed.  
"Yeah, she's great" Spike said with a smile.  
"I'll bet she is" Buffy said flopping on the bed.  
"What's up your ass?" Spike asked also lying on the bed.  
"Nothing, it's just this is our honeymoon and you're hooking up with old pals" Buffy said.  
"Don't start" he said.  
"Spike look I'm sorry okay, it's just that. . .she seems to really like you" Buffy said.  
"Baby, don't be jealous okay, I love 'you' okay you know that" Spike said.  
"I know you do, I love you too, I'm sorry" Buffy said and he leaned closer to her and kissed her on the lips. She leaned closer, not wanting him to stop.  
  
*************  
  
Spike woke up to rain. He groaned as he turned over. The smell of breakfast filled the air as he rolled out of bed. He walked into the living room of the hotel and saw Buffy setting plates and silverware on the table. He smiled at the sight of his wife.  
"Hey baby" he said quietly.  
"Hi" she said happily. "Hungry?"  
"Starved" he said and walked over to her and gave her a kiss.  
"So, what do you want to do today?" she asked.  
"um. . ." he said coming behind her and putting his hands around her waist. "Doesn't matter pet."  
"What about surfing" Buffy suggested as she turned to him.  
"Surfing? You don't surf ducks" Spike smiled.  
"How do you know, I come from California, I could surf" she pouted.  
"All right, you want to surf, let's surf" Spike said and she jumped up and down.  
"Yea!" she smiled and hugged him. "Let's eat and then we'll go down on the beach." Just then there was a knock on the door and Buffy went to answer it. She was surprised to find Drusilla standing there. "Hi."  
"Hello, is William here?" she asked and pushed her way into the room.  
"Uh, yeah but-" she began, but Drusilla just ignored her.  
"Dru, he what's up?" Spike asked sighting her.  
"Hello my dear William, would you like to go water skiing now, I rented a boat?" Drusilla asked. "It's more fun in the rain."  
"Uh, a-actually-" Buffy began, but was again ignored.  
"Oh water skiing I love water skiing, baby you don't mind if I go for a while do you?" Spike asked Buffy.  
"Honey I thought we were gonna spend the day together" Buffy said quietly.  
"Well, we will, but I just want to. . .all right, we'll go do something together" Spike gave up.  
"No, if you don't want to be with me today I'm not going to force you" Buffy said.  
"Great thanks" Drusilla said and pulled Spike away.  
"I'll be back in about an hour and a half sweetie okay, I love you bye" he said quickly as he was dragged out of the room. Buffy sat down disappointed and mad that Spike slutty ex once again ruined their day, well hers anyway, Spike didn't seem to mind it. She began to clean up the breakfast that they didn't get to eat together. Once she was finished she decided to go out and walk along the beach by herself. She looked at the waves as they crashed onto the rocks and the sand. This very moment, this picture here reminded her of a time when she was eight. It was right after her grandfather had died. Buffy's mom and dad took her and Dawn to the beach. She remembered knowing then that her grandfather was there with her. In the waves, in the sun and in the sand. Ever since then she loved the beach. It reminded her of her grandfather. Suddenly she bumped into someone and was pushed back onto her butt.  
"Oh, my god I'm so sorry are you okay?" A guy asked as he helped Buffy up.  
"Yeah, I'm fine thanks" Buffy said brushing herself off.  
"Wait, Summers? Oh my god Buffy" the guy said. Buffy looked at him and automatically knew who he was.  
"Oh my. . .Riley? How are you?" Buffy asked.  
"I'm good, you?" he asked as he smiled.  
"I'm good too, so why are you here? I mean what brings you to Tahiti?" she asked.  
"Oh, just here with my girlfriend and her daughter" Riley said.  
"You have a daughter?" Buffy asked.  
"No, not me, her, oh here they come now, Buffy Summers this is Carla Mason and her two year old daughter Stephanie, guys this is Buffy and old friend" Riley said.  
"Hi Buffy, it's nice to meet you" Carla said in a friendly tone.  
"Ditto, your daughter's beautiful, I hope my little one's a girl" Buffy said putting her hands on her abdomen.  
"Oh my god you're pregnant?" Riley said astonished.  
"Yeah, and married" Buffy said sticking out her left hand to reveal her rings.  
"Wow, a lot happened in the what, five months you've been in Sunnydale, how far along are you?" Riley asked.  
"Five months" Buffy joked. The look on Riley's face made her burst out laughing. "I'm kidding, actually two and a half."  
"Oh, so who's the lucky guy?" Riley asked.  
"Oh his name is. . ." she trailed off when she saw Spike and Drusilla walking on the beach. "Honey" she called.  
"His name is honey?" Riley asked confused.  
"uh, no. . .Spike, honey come here" Buffy called Spike over to them.  
"Hey pet" Spike said out of breath.  
"Hi, um I want you to meet someone, this is Riley Finn, an old friend of mine, and this is his girlfriend Carla and her daughter Stephanie" Buffy introduced him. "Riley this is my husband William, but everyone calls him Spike."  
"Hello, nice to meet ya mate" Spike said and shook Riley's hand.  
"Yeah same here" Riley said.  
"Hello, since Miss Rudeness here decided not to mention me, I'm Drusilla" Drusilla said. Buffy turned to her, fed up with her altogether.  
"Maybe I didn't account for you because you're not worth being accounted for" Buffy snapped back.  
"William, I know this really great restaurant down the beach-" Drusilla began.  
"Oh what's it called sluts-r-us, I guess you'd go there often then wouldn't you" Buffy hissed.  
"Well at least I don't look like Malibu Barbie" Drusilla hissed back.  
"No of course not, because doing the whole Mortisha look, you have to look dead, it'd ruin the whole concept" Buffy said sarcastically.  
"Okay, both of you stop it" Spike said getting annoyed.  
"Spike, are you just gonna let her talk to me like that?" Buffy asked.  
"You know he probably only married you because you got knocked up" Drusilla said and Buffy jumped at her, but Spike grabbed her and held her back.  
"Spike let me go" Buffy said with rage in her voice.  
"No, we're going to the hotel, now" Spike said.  
"Oh, are you sure you just don't want to move into her room and spend the rest of our honeymoon with her, you've done it anyway" Buffy snapped.  
"Baby, we will talk about this when we get up to the hotel okay let's go" Spike said pulling Buffy away.  
"I-it was nice to see you again Buff" Riley said.  
"You too" she said as Spike dragged her away. Once up in the hotel Spike slammed the door and walked to the table.  
"What in the bleeding hell is wrong with you?!" he asked.  
"Look she started it" Buffy said.  
"You know, this jealous thing is really getting old, are you off your bleeding bird or something?" he yelled as threw a glass against the wall and it broke. This startled Buffy a lot. She had never seen Spike take this tone with her. She jumped when the glass shattered. Tears started to fall from her eyes. "Oh don't start crying now, what is the matter with you?" he asked, still quite mad.  
"I. . .she. . ." Buffy tried to explain, but the words wouldn't come.  
"Buffy" Spike sighed and put his hand up to brush the hair from her face. She flinched worrying he might hit her. "What are you doing, I'm not gonna hit you, I would never do that" he said.  
"I'm sorry" she whispered. "But why are you taking her side, I'm your wife, I'm having your child, not her."  
"Look lamb, I'm not taking her side okay, I just never seen you act that way, I'm sorry if I've spent a lot of time with Dru these last couple of days, it will change, look baby we have six more days left, let's make them good ones all right" he said.  
"Okay" she said quietly and he opened his arms to her and she hugged him. "I love you."  
"I love you too ducks" he whispered.  
  
********************  
  
Buffy sighed as she closed her suitcase. Her and Spike were about to leave to go back home. Their last six days had been good ones and they hadn't fought at all.  
"Are you ready baby?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah" Buffy sighed. She didn't want to go, but on the other hand she missed her mom and sister and all of her friends.  
"Okay, we'd better hurry and check out, we'll miss our flight" he said and kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose, she smiled.  
"Yeah" she said and got her luggage and walked to the front desk with Spike. She was less than thrilled to see Drusilla standing there talking to the man behind the desk.  
"Hey Dru" Spike said, setting his things down, Buffy did the same.  
"William, are you leaving?" she asked.  
"Yep, honeymoon's over" he said.  
"Oh, well where are you going now?" she asked.  
"Home" he said.  
"Well I'm leaving too, we could get seats together on the plane" she said.  
"Oh no, uh-uh, I am not going to spend ten and a half hours on a plane next to you" Buffy said.  
"Well I don't believe you can control what I do" Drusilla said with a smile. "Bye William, see you on the plane." With that she walked away.  
"Honey, we have to get a later flight, or a different one" Buffy said.  
"Baby calm down okay, she doesn't live in Sunnydale anymore she lives in Prague now, so she'll be getting off earlier than us all righ" Spike said.  
"Fine, but if she starts anything-" Buffy began, but stopped when she felt Spike's lips on hers.  
"Shhh" he whispered and she smiled.  
"I'm sorry" she smiled. "I'll be good."  
"Good" he smiled back and they checked out. They had to hurry to the airport to catch their plane. Once on it Buffy and Spike settled in and here came, guess who. . .Drusilla.  
"Hello William, Brittany" Drusilla said.  
"It's Buffy" Buffy said harshly.  
"What ever" she said snobby and tried to sit in between Buffy and Spike.  
"Oh no, you are not sitting there" Buffy said and hurried to sit down by Spike.  
"Look, why don't I sit in the middle pet okay" Spike said and Buffy moved to the window so Spike could sit in the middle. Drusilla took her seat by the aisle.  
"So, William, did you have fun this week?" Drusilla smiled.  
'Uh, yeah, it was a great honeymoon" Spike said and then looked at Buffy and Buffy smiled at him.  
"What about the times with me?" Drusilla asked and Buffy rolled her eyes.  
"Uh, they were fun too" Spike said.  
"More fun than with Buffy?" Drusilla asked and Buffy glared at her.  
"Well of course not, it was my honeymoon, I obviously had more fun with Buffy" Spike smirked and Buffy hit him on his arm.  
"Spike!" she whispered loudly.  
"Hey, I'm for the truth pet" he smirked.  
The rest of Drusilla's flight she talked to Spike and Buffy had to sit through five hours of it, but finally it was her stop and she got off.  
"Bye William, when the marriage breaks up, come and see me" Drusilla said.  
"Dru" Spike warned.  
"Sorry, sorry, well luv ya, bye" Dru said and left. Buffy and Spike got on another plane and finally after what seemed like a lifetime to them both they were home and glad to be there. 


	20. Homeward Bound

"Oh my god Buffy you're back, so how does it feel to be married and still in high school?" Willow asked when Buffy entered the school building. She and Spike had just gotten back from Tahiti the day before and she still had major jetlag, but she wanted to get started right back to school so she didn't flunk out. She didn't even have time to go and see her mom before she came back to school.  
"It feel good, really good" Buffy smiled.  
'So, where's your husband?" Willow asked.  
"Oh, he didn't come to school today, he was still too tired, actually I'm still too tired" Buffy said.  
"Well why didn't you stay home, you're pregnant you should be resting" Willow said.  
"Relax Will, I'm only two months along" Buffy said.  
"Two and a half, almost three" Willow reminded her.  
"I know, but I didn't want to flunk so here I am" Buffy said and the bell rang. "Oh I have to go to class, meet me after?"  
"Sure, see ya" Willow said and they went in opposite directions. When the school day was over Buffy went straight to her mom's house. She was very anxious to see her and Dawn.  
"Mom? I'm home" Buffy said, and then caught herself. This wasn't her home anymore. "I mean I'm back from my honeymoon."  
"Honey! It's so great to see you!" Joyce said happily as she hugged her daughter.  
"You too mom" Buffy said.  
"Okay, you have to tell me everything, I want to know everything you guys did, morning noon and night" Joyce said.  
"Uh, mom do you really want to know what we did at night?" Buffy asked, half jokingly.  
"Oh, no, no please, that's to be expected, but the other stuff, did you have fun?" Joyce asked.  
"Oh, yeah, well mostly" Buffy said.  
"What do you mean?" Joyce asked.  
"Well it seems that Spike's ex-girlfriend, Drusilla was also there, in the same hotel. . .and. . .she has feelings for Spike, and I told her that if she puts her lips on him in any way, I would kill her and burry her body right there on the beach" Buffy said.  
"What did she look like, was she pretty?" Joyce asked.  
"No, you know the Adams Family?" Buffy asked.  
"Yeah" Joyce said.  
"Well let's just say that Slutsilla makes Mortisha look like Miss America" Buffy said.  
"Oh, so did you fight her?" Joyce asked.  
"Well I wanted to, would have, but my dear husband wouldn't let me, held me back" Buffy said, and Joyce smiled. "What?"  
"Nothing it's just that's the first time I've heard you refer to Spike as your husband" Joyce said, starting to tear up. "My baby has a husband, my baby's having a baby."  
"Mom, do not start to cry on me okay, I'm still your daughter, I just don't live at home anymore, which is why I have to pack my stuff, and Spike and I have to look for a new place, that is gonna be hard."  
"Why do you have to move?" Joyce asked.  
"Well because Spike's apartment only has one bedroom, and we're gonna have three people living there so, we need an extra bedroom, actually I'd like to have two extra bedrooms" Buffy said. Just then Dawn came through the door.  
"Mom I'm home and- Buffy!" Dawn said, noticing her sister.  
"Hey Dawnie" Buffy said and Dawn gave Buffy a big hug.  
"I missed you" Dawn said.  
"I missed you too, we have a lot to catch up on. . ."  
  
************************  
  
After talking to her mom and sister she packed up some of things and went to Spike's place. He was awake now and watching TV.  
"Hey baby" she said.  
"Hi, where have you been?" he asked.  
"My mom's, I wanted to talk to her and besides I had to get some of my stuff" she said and sat on his lap.  
"Well I'm glad you're home" he said quietly and buried his face in her neck and began kissing her.  
"Mmm, me too" she moaned and smiled. "Honey?"  
"Hmm" he asked, still kissing her.  
"What are we going to do? You know about our living situation?" she asked. He stopped kissing her and looked at her.  
"I don't know" he said bluntly.  
"Maybe we should start looking for a place" Buffy said.  
"And how do you suggest we pay for it?" he asked.  
"I don't know, why are you getting all bad moody on me, I'm just being honest" she said.  
"Well I don't want to think about it" he said.  
"Spike, I'm pregnant-" she began.  
"I don't care!" he shouted, the look on her face made him changed his tone. "I'm sorry baby okay I-"  
"No, don't" she said getting up. "Forget it."  
"Look I-" Spike tried to say.  
"I'm tired, I'm going to bed" she and waked into their bedroom. He sighed and turned the TV back on. He thought that it was better for him to just let her cool off a little and then go and talk to her.  
It was about 9:30 when Spike went into his and Buffy's bedroom. She was still asleep and he sat by her on the edge of the bed and lightly shook her.  
"Hmm?" she asked, her eyes still closed.  
"Baby, wake up I need to talk to you" Spike said and Buffy opened her eyes.  
"What?" she asked. She still seemed mad at him.  
"Look, I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted this afternoon" he said. "I love you and I love the baby okay."  
"I love you too" she said quietly.  
"We will figure this out okay, we will find someplace, maybe this complex has a bigger apartment" he said.  
"I hope so, Spike it's not that I don't like living here, I do, I love it, but with the baby. . ." she said.  
"I know" he said. "Look we'll start looking tomorrow okay."  
"Okay, Spike?" she asked.  
"Yeah?"  
"You. . .you wanted to marry me right?" she asked.  
"Of course, why"  
"It's just. . .I kinda freaked that night at the Bronze when we were talking about this, I just hope I didn't make you feel obligated" she said.  
"No, baby. . .I love you, and I'm so happy to be married to you okay" he said.  
"Okay" she smiled and hugged him. 


	21. A little promy fun and other things

"Buffy, honey are you ready yet?" Joyce asked.  
"I'm not coming out" Buffy said.  
"Why not?" Dawn asked.  
"Because I'm fat and I don't look good" Buffy pouted.  
"Oh honey, this is you're prom you have to come out" Joyce said. They were at Macy's and Buffy was in the dressing room trying on dresses. It had been a month since Spike and Buffy moved into their new place. Spike's dad had given them 10,000 dollars for a late wedding present. With that money they could rent a really nice place.  
"Mom I can't go to my prom looking fat" Buffy whined.  
"Buffy, you're pregnant, not fat and me and mom think you're beautiful, now come out" Dawn said.  
"Oh. . .okay" Buffy said and came out. She was wearing a royal blue satin gown that was full length. It had spaghetti straps and was high cut. The dress was embroidered with shinny little beads. It still looked beautiful with her hair put in a messy ponytail and her white sneakers that were on her feet.  
"Oh, h-honey you look. . .you look. . ." Joyce said trying to find the right word.  
"Magnificent" Dawn finally said.  
"Thank you" Buffy said looking down at the dress.  
"Sweetie this is definitely the one" Joyce said.  
"Yeah, it's perfect" Dawn said.  
"Do you think Spike will like it?" Buffy asked.  
"Honey Spike would love you if you were wearing a paper beg and mud on your face, but yes, he'll love it" Joyce said, Buffy smiled.  
"Okay" Buffy breathed. They bought the dress and some cute shoes to go with it.  
After the shopping trip Buffy went home. She didn't want Spike to see the dress until prom so she gave it to her mom to keep at her house. She walked in the front door and Spike came down the stairs with a towel around his waist and bleach in his hair.  
"What are you doing honey?" Buffy asked.  
"Bleaching my hair" he said and she smiled.  
"I don't think I've ever seen you do that" she said putting down her purse.  
"Well that's because I've never done it around you" he said and sat down on the couch.  
"Spike, what color is your actual hair color?" Buffy asked also sitting on the couch.  
"I'm not telling" he said playfully.  
"Oh come on baby I won't tell anyone" Buffy begged.  
"No" Spike said.  
"So no one knows your true hair color?" Buffy asked.  
"Well, only Willow, but I said if she told anyone I'd kill her so you're not getting anything out of her" Spike smirked.  
Please, please with cherries and whipped cream on top" she said. Spike smiled at his wife.  
"Hungry pet?" he smiled.  
"This isn't a big, okay it's just hair color, and I'm your wife, please" Buffy begged. Spike rolled his eyes and gave up.  
"All right, fine, but you can't show anyone what I'm about to show you all right" he said and Buffy nodded. He got up and went a trunk that was in the closet and got a key from a ceramic bird that was on the top shelf of a bookshelf and opened it. Once the trunk was open Spike dug on the bottom until he found a photo album. He picked it up and brought it over and sat back on the couch. The album was old and falling apart. It was dark brown and had the word 'Treasures' on it.  
"What's this?" Buffy asked.  
"It's my photo album, this has all pictures of me" Spike aid and opened it.  
"Aw, is that you? You were so cute" Buffy smiled and pointed to the baby picture of Spike.  
"Yep that's me" Spike said.  
"But in this one you don't have any hair" Buffy said.  
"Be patient luv" Spike said and turned the page. The next picture Buffy saw was of him at the age of about eleven.  
"Your hair is brown, what's wrong with that?" Buffy asked.  
"Well it's brown and curly, I look like a wanker" he said and Buffy rolled her eyes and put her arms around Spike's neck.  
"You do not look like a wanker, whatever that is, you look cute" she said and kissed him on the cheek.  
"Thank you" he said. She let go of his neck and took the album from him. "Be careful it's old."  
"I know relax" she said and turned the page. There was a picture of him and. . .guess who. "Drusilla."  
"Oh, I forgot that was in there" he said.  
"Why do you still have pictures of her?" Buffy asked.  
"Oh I. . .I don't know" Spike said taking the album and putting on the bookshelf.  
"Do you still love her?" Buffy asked.  
"No, and I never did, I told you I never loved before you" Spike said and sat back on the couch.  
"Well then you can get rid of it right?" Buffy asked.  
"No, look I'm sure you have pictures of your ex-boyfriends" Spike said.  
"I. . .well I. . ." Buffy said at loss of words.  
"Exactly, so. . .how many boyfriends have you had?" Spike asked.  
"Don't' change the subject" Buffy said.  
"No, uh-uh I want to know" Spike said.  
"Fine. . .okay there was Angel-"  
"Angel, what kind of girly name is that?" Spike laughed.  
'What kind of biblical whore name Harmony, and Drusilla, were her parents high when they named her?" Buffy said.  
"All right, come on, next" Spike said.  
"Okay, then there was Scott, and then. . .Parker, and then. . .oh the last was Riley" Buffy said.  
"The guy on the beach, that was your ex?" Spike asked.  
"Jealous?" Buffy teased.  
"Oh please, I'm much hotter than he is" Spike said and Buffy smiled.  
"Of course you are honey" she said and put her hands around him again and kissed him, this time on the lips. "What about you?"  
"What about me?" Spike asked.  
"Well who are your exes?" she asked.  
"Okay, there was Cicely, Drusilla, and Harmony" he said.  
"That's all?"  
"Yeah" Spike said.  
"Oh. . .okay, what happened between you?" Buffy asked.  
"Well with me and Cicely. . .I don't know she was too proper, with Dru, she was just-"  
"Too slutty?" Buffy asked with a smile.  
"No, too. . .possessive, and Harm was unfaithful" he said.  
"Oh, well you don' have to worry about any of that stuff with me" Buffy said.  
"Good, all right I have to rinse this out of my hair, can you help me?" he asked.  
"Sure" she said and they went back upstairs.  
  
* Prom Night *  
  
"All right" Buffy said and came out of what was her room before she moved out. She was at her mom's house getting ready. Tonight was the prom.  
"You look wonderful honey" Joyce said. Buffy was wearing her dress and shoes, except this time her hair was done. It was put up in a French twist with small pieces curled around her face. She had on shimmery makeup also.  
"Really?" Buffy asked.  
"Yes, you look awesome" Dawn said.  
"Thanks" Buffy said and looked in the full-length mirror that was in the room. "Okay, the limo should be here soon."  
"Are you excited, you know only four day until the last day of school, and only seven until you graduate" Dawn said.  
"Yes, very" Buffy said. Suddenly the doorbell rang. "Oh."  
"I'll get it, you be ready to make an appearance" Joyce said and bowed like a princess would and then went downstairs. She opened the door and Spike was standing there in a tux. "Spike you look great."  
"Thanks Joyce" Spike said.  
"Buffy, honey Spike's here" Joyce said and Buffy came down the stairs. Spike jaw dropped at the sight of his wife. The dress was beautiful even more with the baby showing. The little bump made her even more gorgeous.  
"Buffy, baby you look. . .uh. . .wow" Spike said and Buffy smiled.  
"You too" she said and came the rest of the way down the stairs and kissed her mother on the cheek. "Bye mom, I love you."  
"Love you too sweetie, have fun" Joyce said.  
"I will" Buffy said and her and Spike left. They got into the limo and inside was a pink rose, Buffy's favorite and a corsage. "Aw, thanks honey."  
"You're welcome pet" Spike said and they got into the limo. Once at the school they hurried in. The dance had already started and people were dancing. Buffy and Spike found their friends and went over to them.  
"Hey" Buffy said.  
"Hi, Buffy you look amazing" Willow said.  
"You too Will" Buffy said. Willow was wearing a pink gown that was full length and strapless and she had a pink lacy shawl over her shoulders to match. Her hair was put up in a high ponytail and curled.  
"Thank you" Willow said. Cordelia showed up a while later wearing a glittery black gown that was also full length and had spaghetti straps. Her hair was curled and put up partially.  
"Hey guys" Cordy said happily. "This is amazing isn't it?"  
"Yeah, it's great" Buffy said. "You look pretty."  
"Thanks you too" Cordy said.  
"No, I look fat" Buffy said and Spike rolled his eyes.  
"Come on complainarella let's dance" he said and took her hand as a slow song came on. Buffy and Spike, Oz and Willow and Xander and Cordelia dance together.  
"Are you having a good time pet?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah, it's perfect, not exactly how I imagined, you know before I moved here I saw myself the prom queen, and not to be shallow, but if I was still in L.A. I would be, I never imagined that I would fall in love, get pregnant and then get married in high school, but. . .I look back and I wouldn't want to change anything" Buffy said.  
"Well I didn't imagine this either, I didn't even think I would go to prom, not until I met you" Spike said.  
"You know I look at, everything, things that happened, both here and Los Angeles, I. . .honestly don't know what I'd do without you, I don't know how I got so. . ." Buffy said.  
"Lucky, I know I feel the same way" Spike told her and she smiled.  
"Okay, everyone It's time to announce the prom king and queen" a guy said. "First we'll start off with the three princes and princesses of this year, first of all the princes, Max Myers" he said and everyone clapped. "David Roger" more clapping. "And Allen Right" more clapping. "Okay, the princess are. . .Holly Taylor" clapping. "Anna Dove and Charlotte Kane" more clapping. "Now, the moment we've been waiting for, for lack of a better statement, the prom king is. . .Spike Bryson" he said and Buffy turned to him.  
"Oh my god honey!" she said and kissed him and he went up to the stage.  
"Here ya go" a girl said and put the crown on his head.  
"And the prom queen is. . .Glorianna LaChey" the guy said. Buffy's eyes widened when he said Glory's name. She ran up to the stage and the girl put the crown on her head and gave her some flowers.  
"Um. . thank you for voting for me, why wouldn't you I mean look at me, anyway I think that Spike and I make the perfect couple, as king and queen, and other things, thanks" Glory said and Buffy felt like punching her.  
"Okay, as tradition the king and queen will have the dance, music please" the guy said and they stated playing a slow song and Glory took Spike's hand and led him to the middle of the dance floor and the spotlight shown on them while they danced. Buffy could feel her teeth and fists start to clench as Glory held Spike close. Glory whispered something in his ear and he smiled. Buffy didn't know what it was but she felt like smacking her. After the dance was over Buffy went over to Willow and Oz and the rest of the gang. Spike was still talking to Glory.  
"Can you believe that slut" Buffy said angrily.  
"Uh, you mean Glory?" Oz asked.  
"Yeah, she's putting the moves on my husband" Buffy said.  
"Well it is Glory, you can't really be surprised" Cordelia said.  
"And look at her outfit, I mean come on" Buffy said. She looked at Glory who was wearing a red silk spaghetti strapped dress that was about 1 inch above her knee. Her curly brown hair was put up into a messy bun. "Hello this is a formal dance not a strip bar."  
"Oh come on Buffy you can trust Spike" Willow said.  
"Yeah, I know, but I can't trust her" Buffy said. "That's it I'm ending this now." She went over to where Spike and Glory were talking and took Spike's hand. "Come on honey." She pulled Spike away.  
"What are you doing?" he asked.  
"What are 'you' doing?" she asked.  
"I'm being sociable, is there a problem with that?" he asked.  
"Yes, when it's with her, yes" Buffy said.  
"Okay, I'm not allowed to talk to Dru, and not Harmony, and now not Glory?" Spike asked, anger growing in his voice.  
"Oh, it's funny how you want to make nice with all your exes Spike, why don't you just screw them all, get them all knocked up, then you'll really have a party won't you!" Buffy said angrily.  
"You know what, I'm really getting tired of your attitude!" Spike spat back.  
"Oh I'm sorry honey I forgot, it's all about you isn't it!" Buffy yelled and stormed out of the hall. It seemed that everyone was looking at Spike.  
"Oh bloody hell" he whispered to himself and followed Buffy. Willow, Xander Oz and Cordelia followed also  
"Buffy!" he said and grabbed her by the arm. "Do you really want to leave your own prom?"  
"Let go of me" she said and yanked her arm away. "I'm not going to sit here and watch you flirt with her."  
"I'm not flirting" he said.  
"Uh, guys, let's just go inside and you know have some more fun" Xander said.  
"Stay out of this Xander" Buffy said.  
"Okay" he said.  
"Look Buffy I-" Spike began.  
"No, just go and. . ." Buffy said and stopped and got a funny look on her face.  
"What's wrong?" Spike asked.  
"I. . ." she said and then fell to the ground.  
"Buffy!" Spike said and caught her before she hit the concrete.  
"Oh my god!" Willow said.  
"Buffy, sweetheart, come on get up, Buffy?" Spike said trying to wake her, but she wouldn't come to.  
"What's wrong with her?" Cordelia said.  
"I don't know, we have to get her to the hospital, come on" Spike said.  
  
* TCB *  
  
ALL RIGHT JUST TO TELL YOU ALL. I DIDN'T KNOW GLORY'S LAST NAME SO I MADE ONE UP. NEXT CHAPTER, GRADUATION, YAY!!!! 


	22. Hospitalization and graduation

". . .and she'll be okay" Buffy faintly heard the voice of Spike ask.  
"Yeah, she'll be fine, just a little fall, to much going on around her I guess" the doctor said.  
"Thanks doc" Spike said and the doctor left.  
"Spike?" Buffy said softly and Spike went over to her side and took her hand.  
"Hey baby, how are you feeling?" Spike asked.  
"I'm okay, is the baby okay?"  
"Yeah, the baby's fine, it's okay" Spike said and kissed her hand.  
"I want to go home" Buffy said.  
"Well you can't go home yet, they have to take some tests and stuff" Spike said.  
"When?" she asked.  
"Soon baby I promise" he said.  
"So, what time is it, did I make you miss the prom?" she asked.  
"Luv don't worry about that okay, and no, it was almost over anyway, besides you mean a lot more to me than some dance" Spike said.  
"Okay" Buffy said. Just then Joyce entered the room with Dawn and Willow.  
"Hey honey" Joyce said.  
"Hi" Buffy said quietly.  
"here Buffy, these are for you" Dawn said and gave Buffy some flowers.  
"Aw, thank you" Buffy said.  
"Here" Spike said and took the flowers and put them in the pitcher of water that was next to Buffy's bed.  
"So how are you?" Willow asked.  
"I'm okay, a little tired" Buffy said. "Did I make a huge scene?"  
"Not really, not many people were outside" Willow said.  
"Good" Buffy said. "When can I go home?" Spike laughed at that.  
"Baby relax" he said.  
"It's just that hospitals wig me out" Buffy said.  
"Why?" Willow asked.  
"My and Dawn's cousin Celia died in a hospital" Buffy said.  
"Oh" Willow said.  
"Okay, hello miss Summers, I'm doctor Hanks, how are you feeling?" the doctor said as he entered Buffy's room again.  
"I'm okay" Buffy said.  
"All right well I'm going to take some blood okay, do some tests" he said.  
"Uh. . .blood, as in mine?" Buffy asked.  
"That's right" the doctor said.  
"Heh, heh, fun" Buffy said unenthusiastically.  
"Okay, the vampires will be in soon for your blood" Dr. Hanks joked and left.  
"Eh. . .blood, isn't that nice" Buffy said. Spike kissed her on her head.  
"Honey it'll be okay" Joyce said.  
"Yeah, it will be fine" Dawn said, trying to reassure her.  
"No, no not okay, this is me, I'm afraid of needles, really afraid, they just. . ." Buffy said.  
"Wig you out?" Spike asked smiling.  
"Yeah" Buffy said.  
"It'll be over fast" Spike promised.  
"Will you hold my hand?" she asked him.  
"Yeah, sure" he said. A couple minutes later the nurse came in with a needle, a rubber band and some alcohol pads.  
"Okay miss Summers, you ready" she said.  
"No" Buffy said. Spike and Joyce chuckled.  
"It won't hurt" the nurse said.  
"Well of course it won't you're not getting a sharp needle jabbed into your flesh taking your blood, the very blood you need to live and-" Buffy began to rant and Spike kissed her on her lips which stopped her in her tracks.  
"It'll be okay baby" he whispered.  
"Get it done" she sighed. The nurse found the vein and tied the rubber band around her arm. She then whipped the skin with the alcohol pad. After doing that she took out the needle.  
"Okay, ready?" the nurse asked and Buffy took Spike's hand and squeezed it. "Okay." The nurse put the needle in Buffy's skin and began to take the blood. Buffy squeezed Spike's hand harder.  
"Uh, honey, can you loosen you're grip please, honey, ow, ow, you're breaking- she breaking my hand" Spike said to Joyce and Willow, and Joyce smiled.  
"Okay, there" the nurse said after taking the needle out of Buffy's vein. "All done."  
"Wow, that didn't hurt at all" Buffy smiled and let go of Spike's hand.  
"Not you" he mumbled and she smiled at him and kissed him.  
"Thank you for being here for me" she said.  
"Any time baby" he said.  
"Okay, just some questions, um how old are you?" the nurse asked.  
"Uh, eighteen" Buffy said.  
"Are you sexually active?" the nurse asked. And Buffy smiled.  
"Uh, I'm married and pregnant" she said.  
"Oh, right" the nurse said and copied down what Buffy told her. After doing that she left.  
"God I want to get out of here" Buffy whined.  
"Oh come on Buffy it's cool, y-you get to lay in bed all day and watch soaps and eat chocolate and people are nicer to you and you get your way more" Dawn said.  
"Well I hate being here, I can do all that stuff at home" Buffy said.  
"Honey relax, you'll probably be able to leave soon" Joyce said.  
"I just want to go and lay in my comfy bed and. . .sleep" Buffy said.  
  
"Well pet you want to sleep, sleep we'll leave you alone" Spike said.  
"Don't' you dare leave, any of you" Buffy warned.  
"Okay, what ever you want" Willow said.  
"Well if it's whatever I want, let me go home" Buffy pouted. Spike sat on the bed next to her and she rested her head on his upper chest and he held her and kissed the top of her head.  
"Shhh, baby it's okay" he whispered.  
"Mmm" was all she said. She closed her eyes.  
"Uh, Buffy, I'm gonna go and get some coffee okay" Joyce said.  
"Okay, will you get me something?" Buffy asked.  
"What do you want?" Joyce asked.  
"Skittles" Buffy said.  
"Honey you're not allowed to have skittles, you can have-" Joyce began.  
"Mom! I'm sick and wigging and in this horrible place I deserve some sugary goodness" Buffy pouted.  
"Okay, okay fine, skittles it is, anything else?" Joyce asked.  
"Um. . .yeah, some grapefruit juice and orange juice, since they don't make the drink I like I'll have to" Buffy said.  
"Right, two parts orange one part grapefruit, I'll do it for you" Joyce said.  
"Thanks mom" Buffy said and closed her eyes and snuggled into Spike again.  
"Anyone else want anything?" Joyce asked.  
I'll come with you" Willow said.  
"Me too" Dawn said.  
"Spike?" Joyce asked.  
"Uh. . .just some. . .they don't have beer here do they?" he asked Buffy.  
"No honey" she said her eyes still closed.  
"Okay then just a soda" he said.  
"Okay" Joyce said and her, Dawn and Willow left. Just then Xander Oz and Cordelia walked in all holding presents.  
"Hey Buffster" Xander said.  
"Xand, Cordy Oz" Buffy said and sat up.  
"Hey Buffy" Cordelia said.  
"Yo, Spike" Xander said.  
"Hey" Spike said.  
"Well Buff, it's tradition that when someone gets sick they are issued presents so here you go" Xander said. She opened a brown paper bag to find three movies, Steal Magnolias, Fried Green Tomatoes and Message in a Bottle. "You know, chick flicks for the chick."  
"Thank you" Buffy smiled. Next Cordelia gave her a wicker basket full of goodies. There was face cream, a compact, a teddy bear, a tabloid and. . .  
"What every girl needs, Vogue" Cordelia smiled and held up the magazine.  
'Thanks Cordy" Buffy said. Oz gave her a box of chocolates. "Ooh chocolate, thanks."  
"You're welcome" Oz said. Soon after Joyce, Dawn and Willow walked in.  
"Okay, here are your skittles and juice" Joyce said.  
"Thank you" Buffy said.  
"And Spike, your soda" Willow said and handed to him.  
"Thanks Wills" Spike said. They all sat with Buffy for a while and then left one by one. First Willow, then Xander, next was Cordelia and last Oz. Finally Joyce, Dawn, Spike and Buffy were the only ones left in the room.  
"Honey, I'm gonna run home real quick okay" Joyce said.  
"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.  
"Well I wanted to take a shower and changed, come on Dawn you can to, get into your pajamas" Joyce said.  
"Uh, if you're going out will you stop by my and Spike's place and get Mr. Gordo?" Buffy asked.  
"Yeah" Joyce said.  
"And my pajamas, and my blanket and my pillow" Buffy said. Joyce smiled at her daughter.  
'Okay" she said and her and Dawn left. Buffy and Spike were left alone.  
"Spike?"  
"Yeah pet?" Spike answered.  
"I'm sorry" Buffy said.  
"Bout what luv?" he asked.  
"I was a jerk, I guess it's these hormones" Buffy said.  
"Don't worry about it" he said.  
"Are you sure?" she asked.  
"Absolutely" he told her. She soon fell asleep and he followed. When Buffy woke it was morning and the sun was shining. She groaned a little bit and sat up, trying not to wake Spike, but it was no use. He was the lightest sleeper she knew.  
"Hey pet" he said quietly after she got out of bed. "Where are you going, you're supposed to resting?"  
"I'm going to the bathroom" Buffy smiled and went into the bathroom. She saw a window and decided to make a break for it. She opened the window, which set off an alarm. She panicked and tried to get out the window fast. Spike came into the bathroom and caught her just in time.  
"What in the bloody hell are you doing?" he asked and grabbed her.  
"No! I need to get out of here! Please let me go! Let me go damn it!" Buffy shouted.  
"What's going on in here?" an orderly asked when she came into the bathroom.  
"She's going a bit mad, I think it's this place it's wigging her out a lot" Spike said as he forced Buffy back to bed.  
"No, please, I want to go home!" she said struggling.  
"Can I get some assistance in here!" the orderly said into the intercom that was above Buffy's bed. A couple seconds later three more orderlies came into the room, one with a needle.  
"No! Don't please! No, leave me alone, Spike help me please" she begged.  
"Baby this will help you relax okay, just calm down" he said warmly to Buffy and she began to cry. One of the orderlies gave her the shot and instantly she began to relax.  
"No. . .I. . .I want to g. . .go home, please. . .please" she said and began to fall asleep.  
"She should be okay now" one of the orderlies said to Spike.  
"Thank you" he said. "Uh when can she go home?"  
"Um, I'm not sure, you'd have to ask the doctor, he'll be here in like fifteen minutes" one of the orderlies said.  
"Thanks" Spike said, and all the orderlies left. Spike sat on the edge of Buffy's bed stroking her hair. "It will be okay baby, I promise." Just then Joyce and Dawn walked in.  
"Hey" Joyce said.  
"Hey, you missed quite as show" Spike said.  
"What happened?" Dawn asked.  
"Well Buffy went all crazy, she started screaming that she wanted to go home, they had to give her a tranquilizer to calm her down" Spike said.  
"Oh, she's okay now?" Joyce asked.  
"Yeah" Spike said. Joyce went over to the other side and sat by Buffy.  
  
**********************  
  
"Buffy, honey wake up, Buffy" Buffy heard Joyce say and she slowly opened her eyes.  
"Mom?" she whispered.  
"Yeah honey, listen you can go home" Joyce said. Buffy's eyes shot open.  
"I can! When?" Buffy said happily.  
"Here soon, they did tests and they. . .well I'll let the doctor explain" Joyce said and the doctor walked in.  
"Hello Buffy, how are you feeling?" he asked.  
"Groggy" she said.  
"Okay, well that should pass, now we did the tests and it confirmed that you have toxemia, it's a blood pressure condition" Dr. Hanks said.  
"Is it serious?" Buffy asked.  
"No, not if you do exactly what I tell you, now if not treated correctly it can result in a small baby, or possible pre-mature delivery, but most of the patients I've seen have responded quickly to the treatment, it entails lots and lots of bed rest, minimal if no stress and no salt" the doctor told her.  
"Okay, but what about school? I mean I still have four days until I graduate?" Buffy asked.  
"Well those four days can be missed, as for graduation-" he began.  
"No, I'm not missing my graduation" Buffy said.  
"Well you can go to that, but I suggest you stay home from school okay" he said.  
"Yeah, okay" she said. A couple hours later Buffy was allowed to go home. The treatment worked well and Buffy did everything the doctor told her.  
  
* Graduation *  
  
Buffy stood in front of the mirror in her and Spike's bedroom. Today was her high school graduation. She was very happy and yet more nervous. She was wearing her outfit that she chose to wear. A tan and light blue dress with a light blue cardigan to match. Her hair was curled and left down. Spike walked into the room with only his black jeans on.  
"Hey baby, you look great" he said. She turned to him.  
"Thank you" she smiled.  
"Honey have you seen my red and black stripped shirt?" he asked.  
"Uh yeah, it's in the closet" she said turning back to the mirror. "God I look like a cow."  
"No you don't baby you look beautiful" he said retrieving the shirt and then going over to the dresser and getting out a black t-shirt. Her put on the t-shirt first and then his over shirt.  
"Well at least the gown will hide it" she said and he came up behind her and put his arms around her waist.  
"You would look breathtaking no matter what you wore, especially if you didn't wear anything" he said putting his face into her neck. She giggled and turned around to face him.  
"I love you" she said.  
"I love you too" he said. "All right, you ready to graduate?"  
"Definitely" she said and they got their stuff together and left.  
The hurried to the school. They were so anxious to get it over with.  
Welcome class of 1999, today is the first day of the rest of your life, today you will graduate, feeling may intertwine, both feelings of happiness and terror. Yes you are happy to get out of here of course, but what about growing up, doing things on your own. This day is a symbol that you can do anything. Surviving four years of high school is good, but next is college, if of course you're going to college, some of you may not be, but that's okay. If you're brave enough to start in the real world with out a degree that's up to you. Now to announce the valedictorian of this year's class. . .Willow Rosenberg, and as usual the valedictorian will give her speech, Miss Rosenberg" the principal said and Willow shyly got up and went to the front of the auditorium.  
"H-hi, I'm Willow, uh. . .okay, I-I see graduation a-as a new beginning, a new start for all of us to. . .do whatever it is we're planning on doing, whether it's going to college or whatever we have all these different paths in front of us, and it's our job to choose one. We've been babied so to speak these last four years, having our parents pay for everything, relying on them for support. I can't lie, I'm scared. I. . .I was so busy wanting to get out of here that I didn't realize that I don't know how to be a grown up. I have to move out, I have to get a job and get my own place and it scares the hell out of me, because if I fail, I lose everything, but when I get scared I just think of one two people. People that have had their whole lives changed, but that didn't stop them. My two best friends, Buffy Summers-Bryson and Spike Bryson. They realized that they had to grow up fast to be able to take care of this tiny life and they did. I have never seen any two people love each other more. And I know that that baby is gonna be the most loved baby I have ever seen. For them it won't be any different, see because they've been on their own for a while, but the rest of us have got a hell of a ride ahead. And if you're not ready for it, then you should have failed and not graduated because it's over now. All the pampering and hand holding is done, and all we're left with is us, and if that's not enough, well then you're pretty much screwed. As we say goodbye to this school we miss certain things, but now we have our lives to plan. It is better to look forward, then back, looking back would just make you. . .bump into things, you can't go back, and you're being pushed forward whether you like it or not, so I say, make the best of it, live your lives, 'cause you have nothing else to do, thank you" Willow said and everyone clapped as she went back to her seat.  
"Okay, thank you Willow, and we all wish for a healthy delivery for the baby of William and Elizabeth Bryson, now the diplomas, let's start, Kathy Aaron, Chester Abrigottle, Leonard Axting, Celia Barker, Pat Barker, Marti Beckston, Harold Bhelitle, Lilly Bline, Chad Bonnor, Michael Britlan, Tami Brittle, Elizabeth Bryson" he said and Buffy walked up and took her diploma and shook the principal's hand. "William Bryson" Spike followed and did the same process. "Cordelia Chase, Kelly Connor, Milton Conock. . ."  
  
* Later *  
  
"So, how does it feel?" Joyce asked her daughter.  
"it feels great" Buffy said with a smile.  
"Well congratulations honey, I'm very proud of you" Joyce said and gave Buffy a kiss on the head.  
"Thanks mom, I'm proud too" Buffy said.  
"Come on pet, party time" Spike said and took Buffy's hand. As she was led towards Spike's car she looked once more at the school. She smiled as she thought to the future ahead. At the same time a single tear slid down her cheek and she got inside Spike's car and he drove away. To Buffy they weren't just diving away from the school, they were driving towards forever. 


	23. Bad is a reflection of good

"Spike, Spike wake up" Buffy said franticly.  
"What? What is it honey?" he said sleepily.  
"Spike, the baby's coming" Buffy said.  
"What! Now!" he said and jumped out of bed.  
"Yes, we have to go!" Buffy said.  
"All right let's go," he said quickly putting on his pants and getting their stuff together and left. It had been five and a half months and Buffy's pregnancy had gone well. Now today they would have it. They rushed to the hospital.  
"Hi, my name is Buffy Summers, I'm in labor" Buffy said.  
"Okay, who's your doctor?" the secretary asked.  
"Uh, doctor Helen" Buffy said.  
"All right, take a seat please" the secretary said as a nurse brought a wheelchair for her. She took a seat. "Doctor Helen to the front desk please." A couple minutes later the doctor came.  
"Hello Buffy" she said.  
"Hi, I'm having the baby" Buffy said.  
"Okay, well relax, okay lets get her into room 12 please and get her ready to deliver, it will be okay Buffy" the doctor said. And they wheeled her away.  
"Spike call my mom a-and Willow, and everyone else okay" Buffy said.  
"Of course" Spike said. He went to the first pay phone he could find and called Joyce, then Willow, Oz, Xander and then Cordelia.  
  
"Honey, how are you doing?" Joyce asked twenty minutes later she arrived.  
"Hi mom, I'm okay I'm- oh holy hell!" she yelled when a contraction hit. "Ow, ow!" she said.  
"Okay here" Spike said and she took his hand and squeezed. Soon the contraction was over.  
"Except for the contractions, they're a bitch" Buffy said and relaxed again.  
"Well yes of course they are" Joyce smiled.  
  
*****************  
  
* Later *  
  
"Push Buffy, come on, now push one more time and you'll meet your baby," the doctor said and Buffy pushed hard and the baby came out.  
"Oh here we go, it's a beautiful baby girl" the doctor said and cleaned her off and handed her to Buffy.  
"Oh, she so gorgeous" Buffy cried.  
"She sure is, she looks just like you baby" Spike said and stroked the baby's forehead. "I'm so proud of you" he whispered to Buffy and kissed her on her lips lightly. Buffy now had tears in her eyes from all of the labor and happiness.  
"So, do you have a name for her yet?" the doctor said.  
"No, we don't" Buffy said in panic.  
"It's okay, we'll just call her baby girl Bryson" the doctor smiled. "Okay, I'm going to weigh and measure her all right?" she took the baby brought her over to the scale.  
"How much does she weigh?" Buffy asked.  
"7 lbs and 5 oz" Doctor Helen said. After she measured her she wrapped her in a pink blanket and put a pink hat on her head and handed her back to Buffy. "I'll leave you three alone." With that she and the nurses left.  
"She's superb" Spike said.  
"I know, she absolutely amazing, our little sweetheart" Buffy said. "Do you want to hold her?"  
"Yeah" Spike said and Buffy handed the baby to him.  
"We still need a name for her honey" Buffy said.  
"Well you brought that baby name book, look in there" Spike said.  
"Okay" Buffy said and got out the book. "I don't even know where to start."  
"All right, think of a meaning, what do you want it to mean.  
"I don't know, you know in my dream, the baby was named Ashley Renee, do you like that name, honestly?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh, yeah, it okay" Spike said.  
"But not right" Buffy said.  
"Why don't we name her after someone, like a name from your family and mine" Spike suggested.  
"Okay, who did you have in mind?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh, well I wanted to name her after my aunt Charlotte" Spike said.  
"Charlotte! That's perfect!" Buffy said. "Charlotte. . .Joyce" Buffy said.  
"That's nice" Spike said and looked down at the little girl who was now sleeping.  
"Little Charley" Buffy said. Spike gave Charlotte to Buffy. "Hi my little girl, welcome to our lives."  
"Buffy" Buffy heard Joyce say and knock on the door. "Can we come in?"  
"Of course" Buffy said. Joyce came in followed by Dawn, Willow, Xander, Cordelia and Oz.  
"Oh, Buffy she's so beautiful" Dawn said.  
'What's her name honey?" Joyce asked.  
"Charlotte Joyce Bryson" Buffy said.  
"Aw honey that's beautiful" Joyce said.  
"We wanted to name her after people we love, Charlotte is after Spike's aunt, and well you know who Joyce is after" Buffy smiled.  
"Well I'm honored" Joyce said. "Can I hold her?"  
"Of course" Spike said and handed Charley to Joyce.  
"She's beautiful" Willow said.  
"Oh she sure is" Joyce smiled. "Hi Charley, I'm your grandma, yes."  
"Me next" Dawn said after a while.  
"Okay here you go" Joyce said and handed the baby to Dawn.  
"Hi Charley, I'm your auntie Dawn" Dawn said happily.  
"What's wrong baby?" Spike asked when he noticed that Buffy had a strange look on her face.  
"I don't know, I feel. . .I. . .I don't feel so well" Buffy said quietly and laid down and closed her eyes.  
"Honey?" Spike said, but Buffy didn't answer. "Buffy? Buffy?" he began to shake her but she wouldn't wake. "Oh god."  
"W-what's wrong?" Dawn asked.  
"I don't know, um, D-Doctor Helen, we need you now!" Spike said as he pushed the intercom button above Buffy's bed. "Buffy! Come on baby wake up, Buffy!"  
"What's the problem?" the doctor said when she entered the room.  
"Something's wrong with my daughter" Joyce said frantic.  
"Buffy? Buffy sweetheart?" the doctor said, checking her pulse and her eyes. "We need some assistance here, now!" soon after three more doctors came into the room accompanied by five nurses.  
"What happened?" one of the doctors asked.  
"I don't know, she was fine, and then she said she didn't feel well, and she just. . .what's wrong with her?" Spike asked.  
"Let's take her to room 15A" one of the doctors said.  
"You didn't answer my question" Spike said.  
"Look if you want us to save get the hell out of the way" the doctor said and they wheeled Buffy out of the room.  
"Oh my god" Joyce said. 


	24. Pleading

"Look if you want us to save her get the hell out of the way" Buffy heard the voices faintly, but she couldn't open her eyes or talk. She felt so weak. She lay there in a unconscious state, not knowing what had happened to her, or where she was. She looked around her. She could feel herself floating towards a door. A door that she really didn't want to open. She didn't know what was behind it or who for that matter. She listened closely and she could still hear the voices of men and woman, but none of her family. Coming closer and closer to the door her heart was beating fast as it opened for her. She was sort of pushed inside, thought her feet were not touching the ground. Once inside she saw a familiar place. The house where she grew up, before she met Spike. It was one Christmas when she was seven, Dawn was one. She was sitting on her father's lap and her mother was holding her sister. They were all opening presents.  
"Okay Lizzie Bear, this one's for you" she heard her father say. Buffy opened it to find a doll. It was about 5 inches and had curly blond hair.  
"Thank you daddy, thank you mommy!" Buffy said happily as she hugged the doll. Buffy smiled at this memory.  
  
************************  
  
"Okay, we have to shock her, ready one, two, three, clear!" the doctor said and shocked Buffy's heart and her whole body jumped. "Again, 300 this time, ready, clear!" he repeated the process and her body shook again, but still the monitor was flat. "Again, 350, ready clear!" he said and shocked her again, this time the monitor showed a heart beat. "Okay, there it is, all right, okay."  
  
************************  
  
Buffy was in a different place now. She saw herself being born. This was very confusing to her. How could she see her own birth? Where was she? She watched as the doctor said 'push' and Buffy's mom did so and she saw the head, then the shoulders, and finally the rest of her. 'God, I was all weird looking' Buffy thought. The doctors cleaned her off and handed her to Joyce.  
"Do you have a name yet?" the doctor asked and Joyce smiled.  
"Yes, Elizabeth Anne Summers, Buffy for short" Joyce said.  
"Okay, Buffy, welcome to the world" the doctor said. Next Buffy was in a different place, her grandfather's funeral.  
"No, I don't want to be here, no, let me wake up, please" Buffy begged to really no one but herself, but she stayed. She saw the funeral, everyone crying, she saw the burial and she saw her with her sister and parents at the beach. She could feel tears start to fall. She didn't know where she was but she wanted to go home. She missed Spike and her baby, and her mom and sister and all of her friends.  
  
************************  
  
The doctor came out into the waiting room where Spike, Joyce, Dawn, Willow, Cordelia, Xander and Oz were all waiting.  
"Doctor, is Buffy going to be okay?" Spike asked as he got up, followed by everyone else.  
"We got her stabilized , but she's in a coma" the doctor said.  
"What, well what's wrong with her?" Joyce asked.  
"We confirmed that Buffy has a tumor in her placenta, it was hidden by the baby, w-we're surprised that the baby wasn't affected by the tumor" the doctor said.  
"Is she going to be okay?" Spike asked.  
"We can do an operation to try to remove the tumor, but it isn't certain that it will help, or that she'll wake up, we can't do the operation until Buffy is out of the coma" the doctor said.  
"Well she will wake up won't she?" Joyce asked.  
"Some patients wake up right away" the doctor said.  
"And the others?" Willow asked.  
"Some don't wake up at all, I'm sorry" the doctor said.  
"Can we see her?" Spike asked.  
"Of course, but only family" the doctor said. "Her room's this way."  
"Uh, Willow will you watch Dawn for me?" Joyce asked.  
"Of course" Willow said.  
"No, I want to see Buffy, mom please" Dawn begged.  
"Okay, fine come on" Joyce said and she Dawn and Spike followed the doctor to Buffy's room.  
"I'll leave you alone with her" he said and left.  
"Oh god" Spike said and went over to the left side of her bed, Dawn and Joyce stayed on the right side. "Baby, you have to wake up okay, you don't have a choice, you have to."  
"Buffy, sweetie, this is your mom, I can't live without you baby you have to wake okay, please, think of your daughter, honey you can't leave us" Joyce said, on the verge of crying. Dawn moved closer to Buffy so she was right in her face.  
"Buffy. . .remember what you said to me, you will always be there for me, you have to keep that promise, you can't leave us, we're not ready to loose you. . .please Buffy" Dawn whispered and then began to cry. "You're my big sister, you've been here my entire life, you can't just leave now, not now Buffy please wake up."  
"Okay baby come on, it's okay" Joyce said.  
"I'm sorry, visiting hours are over, you'll have to come back tomorrow" a nurse said.  
"No, I'm not going anywhere" Spike said. "I'm her husband, I am staying here till she bloody wakes."  
"Okay, you can stay, but I'm sorry ma'am you and the little girl have to go" the nurse said.  
"Okay, fine, Buffy baby, we'll be back first thing tomorrow okay, I promise" Joyce said and kissed Buffy on the head and her and Dawn left. Once everyone was gone Spike leaned in closer to Buffy.  
"Honey I'm begging you, please wake up" he said.  
  
************************  
  
"Spike I'm trying, I can't-I can't get out of here, please don't leave" Buffy begged. She had been listening to everything. She knew about the tumor and that she might not ever wake up. She didn't want her family and friends to feel so sad. She didn't want to leave her daughter. She just wanted to wake up and get the operation so she could be okay and raise her daughter right. She was now at the hospital again. This time it was the birth of Dawn. She smiled at the birth of her little sister. She remembered when she went to the hospital to see her for the first time. Next she was at her high school in Sunnydale. She saw herself meeting Spike. She saw everything that happened that day. Next she was at her own wedding, then at her honeymoon, and last at the hospital giving birth. Finally she came across this door that had the word exit on it. 'Does this mean. . .' she wondered if it meant waking up, or dying. She was so scared to open it. She felt like she was in one of those movies where she had to stop a bomb from going off and she didn't know is she should pull the red or green wire. She finally sighed and decided to open the door. When she did she saw white for a second and then she could feel he eyes stat to open. 


	25. Waking up, getting cut and going home

Buffy slowly opened her eyes. she was so happy to be awake, so happy to see Spike.  
"Mmm" she said quietly.  
"Buffy, oh god, you're-you're awake, oh god" Spike said happily as he pushed the button above Buffy's bed. "Uh, c-can we get a doctor in here Buffy Summers is awake."  
"Right away sir" the nurse said and the doctor came into the room.  
"Buffy, wow, this is. . .how are you feeling?" the doctor said as he checked her eyes and pulse.  
"I feel tired, that's all" she said.  
"Okay, well all her vitals seem normal" the doctor said.  
"So you can do the operation?" Spike asked.  
"Yes, we have to do some tests first" he said.  
"Okay, thanks" Spike said.  
"All right, we'll have to take some blood" the doctor said.  
"More blood" Buffy whined.  
"Yep, she's her self" Spike smiled.  
"All right, we'll send the nurse in, in awhile" the doctor said and left.  
"Oh god baby you have no idea-" Spike began.  
"What happened?" Buffy asked. She didn't remember anything except waking up.  
"You have a tumor honey, in your placenta" Spike told her.  
"Is the baby okay?" she asked.  
"Yes, she's fine" Spike told her. "Don't you ever scare me like that again."  
"I promise" she smiled. "Now kiss me." He smiled as well and bent down and kissed her on her lips lightly. "Oh come on you have to do better than that" she teased and he kissed her again, this time more passionately. "That's better." He smiled at her.  
"I love you so much" he said and she kissed him again.  
"I love you too" she whispered.  
  
************************  
  
Buffy was scheduled for the operation two days later. They said that if it went well then everything would be fine, but if it didn't, Buffy could die. Buffy wanted to do the operation anyway, because if they didn't, she would die for sure. They prepped her for the surgery and then they put her under anesthesia and began. They operation took six and a half hours. Finally it was finished. The doctor sewed Buffy up and took her to recovery and then went to talk to her family.  
"How is she, did it go well?" Joyce asked.  
"Yes, it went very well, we're pretty certain that we got it all" the doctor said.  
"What do you mean pretty certain?" Spike asked.  
"Well, there's always a chance that it can come back, but she's totally fine now and everything's great" the doctor said in a happy tone which made everyone relax.  
"Can we see her?" Spike asked.  
"Yes, three at a time please" the doctor said.  
"Okay, Spike Dawn and I will go in and then you guys can see her all righ" Joyce told Xander, Willow Cordelia and Oz.  
"Sure, of course" Xander said. Joyce Dawn and Spike went into the recovery room and Buffy was just coming to.  
"Hey baby" Spike said.  
"Hi" she said still groggy.  
"How are you feeling?" Dawn asked.  
"Mmm, sleepy, is Charley all right, you've been holding her and stuff?" Buffy asked Spike.  
"Yes, she's fine, don't worry about anything, just worry about you getting better okay" Spike said.  
"Okay" she whispered, closing her eyes again.  
"Buffy?" Dawn asked.  
"Yeah?" Buffy answered.  
"I love you, we all do" Dawn told her.  
"I love you too Dawnie, all of you" Buffy smiled, her eyes still closed.  
"Come on honey, let's let Buffy get some rest" Joyce told Dawn.  
"No, I want to go home" Buffy said.  
"Luv you'll be able to go home in a couple days okay, just get some rest" Spike said.  
"Okay" Buffy gave up and fell asleep. Later Xander Cordelia and Oz went in to see her.  
"Hey Buff" Xander said and handed her a gift.  
"Ooh, presents" Buffy said happily. She was now fully awake. She unwrapped the box and found a sweatshirt that had the words 'Queen Elizabeth' on it in big pink glittery letters and under that it said 'I'm not a good girl' in little black letters. Buffy laughed at that. "Thank you."  
"You're welcome" he said and kissed her on her forehead.  
"Okay me next" Cordelia said and gave her a little square shaped box. She opened it and it was a gold necklace that said Buffy. "I had it specially made for you."  
"Thanks Cordy" Buffy said.  
"You're welcome sweetie" Cordy said and gave her a hug and then a kiss on the cheek. Next Oz went. The box he gave her a big. She opened it to find-  
"A video camera? You got me a video camera?" she asked astonished.  
"Well you know every mother needs this, to record her baby's firsts" Oz said with a smile.  
"Thank you" she said and hugged him.  
"You're welcome" he said.  
"Thank you all, where's Will?" Buffy asked.  
"Oh, she had to wait, she's gonna come in after, with Spike and your mom, Dawn's asleep so. . ." Xander said.  
"Oh, so. . ." Buffy said, running out of things to say.  
"We're glad you're okay Buff, we don't know what we'd do without you" Cordelia said.  
"Yeah, believe it or not, you're the glue of this group" Oz said. Buffy could feel her eyes filling with tears.  
"No I'm not" she said.  
"Yes you are" Cordelia said.  
"You guys are gonna make me cry" Buffy said with a smile.  
"We saw Charlotte, she's beautiful" Cordelia said.  
"Oh, thank you, actually I want to see her, I haven't since, well she was born" Buffy said.  
"Okay, well we'll go so Spike, your mom and Will can see you" Xander said and they all left. A couple minutes later Joyce Willow and Spike came into the room, Spike holding Charley.  
"Aw, my baby" Buffy said with a smile.  
"Here you go, Charley, you're mommy's all better now and she can go home tomorrow" Spike said giving Charlotte to Buffy.  
"I can, oh that's so great" Buffy said. "Hi baby girl, aw you are so precious."  
"How are you honey?" Joyce asked.  
"I'm okay, actually I feel great, I want to get out of this hospital though, now" Buffy said.  
"Tomorrow honey" Joyce said.  
"They said the operation went well, they told me, it's. . ." Buffy said.  
"It's the best new we could of gotten" Spike said.  
"Oh I'm so. . .so scared, I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a mountain and I'm holding on and any minute I'm gonna let go and fall off" Buffy said.  
"Don't worry baby, I won't let you" Spike smiled and she smiled back. Buffy was allowed to go home the next morning. She was so happy and relieved to be home with her husband and newborn baby. That night she slept in her bed and had a goodnight's. Better than she had in a while. 


	26. Trust?

Buffy woke to the sound of her daughter crying. She rolled over in bed to look at Spike who had also been awakened by the infant.  
"Your turn" she smiled.  
"Mmm, come on luv, you get her this time I will the next two okay" he said sleepily.  
"Baby you said that last night" Buffy complained.  
"Mmm" was all Spike said and fell back asleep. Buffy sighted annoyed and got out of bed to comfort the crying baby. She went into the nursery and picked Charlotte up and rocked her back and forth.  
"It's okay sweetie, it's all right mama's here, shhh don't cry" Buffy said. The little girl refrained from sleeping and continued to cry. Buffy carried her downstairs and warmed up a bottle and fed it to her. After eating she could go back to sleep and so could Buffy. The next time Buffy woke the sun was up and Spike was out of bed. Buffy walked downstairs where she found her husband and daughter.  
"Hey baby" Spike said.  
"Hi" Buffy said. Spike had Charley's baby seat seated on the table and he was drinking coffee and reading the paper.  
"Sleep well?" he asked.  
"Sure" she said and went to get her self some coffee.  
"What's the matter?" he asked.  
"Nothing" she mumbled.  
"What's that?" he asked.  
"Nothing" she said a little louder and with more irritation in her voice.  
"Okay, if something wasn't wrong you wouldn't be acting like a bint, what is it?" Spike asked.  
"Nothing, it's just that. . .every night the baby cries, you lie there while I. . ." she said.  
"Okay, I'm sorry, look I was just tired last night okay" he said.  
"But it's every night Spike, I mean you're the daddy, you should have to get up too, you know every once in a great full moon" Buffy said.  
"Fine! Tonight I'll get up! All right!" Spike shouted, which startled the baby and she began to cry.  
"Look what you did, oh baby it's okay shhh don't cry" Buffy said as she picked up Charlotte and comforted her.  
"Charley daddy's sorry okay I-" Spike begin to stroke the baby's head, but Buffy pulled her away. "What are you doing?"  
"Just leave her alone" Buffy said.  
"What in the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?" Spike asked.  
"Maybe I don't trust you around her" Buffy said bitterly, but the look on Spike's face made her change her tone. "Look, I'm s-"  
"Oh no I get it, right" he said angrily and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair.  
"Baby-" Buffy began.  
"Just forget it" he said and walked out of the house.  
  
**********************  
  
"So honey, how have you been?" Joyce asked.  
"Fine, S-Spike and I have been arguing" Buffy said as she picked Charlotte up and gave her a bottle.  
"Here honey, let me" Joyce said and took Charlotte from her and fed her. "Honey every couple argues, it's nothing to worry about."  
"I hope you're right, I mean I love Spike more than anything, well with the exception of my daughter of course" Buffy said.  
"And that's all you need baby, love, look you're a wonderful wife, and a terrific mother, you and Spike are perfect together, it will all be fine" Joyce said.  
"I hope so" Buffy said and Dawn came through the door. "Hey Dawnie"  
"Buffy! Hey" Dawn said and gave Buffy a hug. "Aw, my niece, let me hold her." Joyce handed the now sleeping charlotte to Dawn. "Hi Charley."  
"So kid, how are ya" Buffy asked.  
"I'm good, what about you?" Buffy asked.  
"I'm okay" Buffy said. Dawn smiled down at Charlotte.  
  
**********************  
  
"I don't know Dad, she's been getting on my nerves, a-and she had the nerve to say that she doesn't trust me with our daughter" Spike complained to his father.  
"Well. . .do you love her?" his father asked.  
"Of course I do, more than anything, well except for Charley of course, but. . .I don't know" he said.  
"Well son if you love her, then that's all you need to know" Mr. Bryson said.  
"Yeah, maybe, I just can't get over why she doesn't trust me, and with our daughter, like I'd do anything to hurt Buffy or Charlotte" Spike said.  
"I don't think she meant it" Mr. Bryson said.  
"Yeah, well I hope not" he said getting up. "I'm gonna go home, and talk to Buffy, see ya later."  
"Bye" his father said.  
  
Buffy said bye to her mom and sister and took Charlotte home. She found Spike watching TV.  
"Hi" she said.  
"Hey" he said grimly and turned off the TV.  
"Sweetie, I wanted to apologize for what I said" Buffy said as she placed Charlotte's baby seat on the coffee table and sat by Spike on the couch. "I want you to know I trust you completely, with everything, with my life and Charley's"  
"Really" he said skeptical and faced her.  
"Yes, honey I am so sorry I hurt your feelings, I love you" she said.  
"Yeah" he said and got up and walked into the kitchen. Buffy took Charlotte out of her seat and carried her into the kitchen.  
"Baby, please, please, I. . .I don't know what else to say, I. . ." Buffy said at a loss of words.  
"Okay, all right" he said giving up. "I love you too."  
"Here" she said giving Charlotte to Spike. "I think it's time for Charley to spend some quality time with her daddy."  
"Hey kid" he said cradling Charlotte. Buffy kissed Spike on the cheek. 


	27. Meeting Miller

ONE YEAR LATER  
  
Buffy and Spike had fought over the next year quite a lot. They had fought and made up and again and so on. Now they sat at their house celebrating their daughter's first birthday.  
"Okay, Charley blow out the candles" Buffy said after they had sang happy birthday. Charley let out a big breath and blew out all the candles. "Yea!"  
"All right, who wants cake?" Spike asked.  
"Ooh me!" Dawn said.  
"Me too" Willow said. Spike cut the cake and passed it out to everyone. After the party was over everyone helped clean up and Joyce and Dawn stayed a little longer talking and what not. After they left Buffy gave Charlotte a bath and put her to bed. After that she got her own self ready for bed.  
"So" Spike said seductively. "What should we do now?"  
"Go to sleep" Buffy said.  
"Oh come on, we haven't. . .you know for like four weeks" Spike complained.  
"Oh, you're counting now" Buffy said.  
"What's the matter with you?" he asked getting annoyed.  
"Nothing, I'm just tired okay, goodnight" Buffy said and turned over in bed.  
"You know you're turning out to be a real bint" Spike said.  
"Oh thank you honey that's what every girl longs to hear, look just because I don't want to-" Buffy start to say.  
"You never want to anymore, I mean we're married we should-"  
"Spike, just because we're married doesn't mean that that's what it's all about okay, look I'm sorry, but I'm tried so goodnight" Buffy said and closed her eyes.  
"Whatever" Spike said and got up and grabbed his pillow and a blanket.  
"Where are you going?" Buffy asked.  
"Downstairs to sleep on the sofa, I'll get more action down there watching porn then up here with you" he said and left. Buffy rolled her eyes and went to sleep.  
Then next morning Buffy woke at 12:45. She stretched and yawned before she got out of bed. Then she took a shower and dried her hair and got dressed before going downstairs.  
Hi" she said happily and gave Spike a kiss on the cheek and then gave Charlotte a kiss on the cheek.  
"Hey" he said without a lot of emotion.  
"What's the what?" she asked.  
"What do you mean?" he asked.  
"Why are you all bad moody?" she asked.  
"Not, just tired that's all" he said.  
"It's almost one" she said with a smile.  
"Yeah, well. . .whatever, I have to go" he said and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair.  
"Wait, where are you going?" she asked.  
"Work" he said and turned to leave.  
"Hey!" she whined.  
"What?"  
"Kiss" she said with an innocent smile. He went over to her and kissed her on the lips lightly and quickly, but that wasn't good enough for her. She grabbed him and kissed him more passionately. "I love you, oh and tonight, I thought we would um. . .catch up" she smiled at him devilishly and he smirked back.  
"Really?" he said in a happier tone.  
"Mmm hmm, absolutely" she said and he kissed her again.  
"I love you too, see you in a bit" he said and left. Buffy had to go also. She wanted to sign up for college and go back to school. She wanted to be writer. She had to drop Charlotte off at Joyce's and then go to Sunnydale University. She got the baby's things together and took her over to Joyce's.  
"Hey honey" Joyce said.  
"Hey mom, okay, well she's all yours, bye Charley mommy will be back in a while" Buffy said and then left.  
Buffy drove to the college and waited until it was her turn. She had to meet with the dean.  
"Elizabeth Bryson" the secretary said and Buffy went into his office.  
"Hello Mrs. Bryson, I'm dean Carlson, how are you today?" the dean asked.  
"I'm good what about you?" Buffy asked.  
"Good thank you, okay you want to sign up for late registration is that right?" he asked.  
"Yes, I had a baby a year ago and that's why I didn't sign up last year, but. . .I want to be a writer and I want to get a good degree" Buffy said.  
"Okay, well we've talked about the price and the student loan over the phone, do you have any questions?" dean Carlson asked.  
"Uh, no, just when do I start?" Buffy said with a smile.  
"Okay, well you would start on Monday, here is your class schedule and a map of the campus" he said and handed her the materials. "You have four classes like we discussed, two on Monday and two on Thursday, both days are morning classes, and that's it."  
"Okay, thank you very much, j appreciate it" Buffy said.  
"You're very welcome, and welcome to Sunnydale University" he said.  
"Thank you" Buffy said and left. Joyce said that she would keep Charlotte over night so Buffy and Spike could be alone. After meeting with the dean she went home. Spike wasn't home from work yet so she decided to make him dinner to celebrate the good news. She made his favorite, Linguini with clams and banana bunt cake. She set the table and lit some candles. Spike arrived home at 7:55.  
"Buffy I'm ho-" Spike said, but stopped when he saw the candles and everything. "Uh, wow."  
"Hi" Buffy said with a smile.  
"Hey, what's up, what's with the. . .uh what's going on?" he asked.  
"Well Charley is at my mom's for tonight, we have the whole place to ourselves, just you" she said and kissed him. "And me." She kissed him again.  
"Oh, nice" he said with a smile.  
"Come on, let's eat" she said. They ate and talked and Buffy told him about the news and he was happy for her.  
Monday came along and Buffy was exited to start school. She dropped Charlotte off at Joyce's and went to her first class, which was math. She didn't pass her math placement test so she had to take the class.  
"Hello, welcome to trigonometry, I am professor Damon and you are the students, now that we're acquainted we can get started, first I'd like to tell you that you each need a partner so choose now, I'll wait" the professor said. Buffy looked around. She didn't know anybody. Suddenly a guy came up to her.  
"Hi, I'm Miller, Miller Banks" he said and Buffy shook his hand.  
"Hi, Buffy, Bryson" she said with a smile.  
"So, you want to partner up?" he asked.  
"Uh, sure" Buffy said. When the class was over Buffy went to her next class and then went home. She really liked Miller. They spent the hour and a half class talking and helping each other with work. The teacher had announced a test and Buffy invited Miller over for dinner and to study with her that Friday.  
"Honey? Are you here?" Buffy called to Spike.  
"In here baby" Spike said from the kitchen. Buffy went in exited and kissed him on the cheek. "How was class?"  
"It was great, I met this guy there and he is so funny and smart, he's my partner in class his name is Miller Banks and I invited him for dinner on Friday and-" Buffy babbled on but Spike stopped her.  
"Whoa, wait a minute, you invited him for dinner, you just met him today" Spike said.  
"Yeah, I know but he's helping me study for the test next Tuesday so I invited him here" Buffy said.  
"Oh" Spike said.  
"Anyway the day was great" Buffy said sitting down. "Where's the baby?"  
"She's upstairs sleeping" Spike said.  
"Oh, well I'm gonna go call my mom and tell her about my day" Buffy said and ran upstairs. Spike smiled at his wife's ambition.  
Friday came along and Buffy got everything ready for Miller. She made beef stew and corn bread.  
"This is an awful lot just for some wanker that you just met" Spike said putting a spoon in the stew to taste it, but Buffy smacked his hand. "Hey."  
"Don't touch, and he's not a wanker, and you better be nice or I'll punish you" she said.  
"Promise" he smirked at her and then kissed her. "I'll be good okay."  
"Thank you" she said and then the doorbell rang. "Oh, honey can you get that, I'm gonna go get Charlotte." With that she ran upstairs. Spike answered the door.  
"Uh, hi, I'm Miller Banks" Miller said.  
"Right, hey mate, Spike Bryson" Spike said and shook Miller's hand. "Uh my wife will be right down."  
"Thanks" Miller said. "Uh, here I thought I'd bring something, for thanking Buffy for doing the study thing here." He gave Spike a bottle of wine.  
"Oh, thanks" Spike said and set the wine on the table. "Buffy, sweetheart, Miller's here."  
"Coming" Buffy said and then came down the stairs holding Charlotte. "Hi Miller."  
"Hey, oh is this your daughter, she's beautiful" Miller said.  
"Yeah, thanks" Buffy said.  
"Okay, should we eat or study first?" Miller asked.  
"Uh, eat, it's done so. . ." Buffy said.  
"All right, fine with me" Miller said. Buffy served the food and they ate. Afterwards Spike took Charlotte up to his room so Buffy and Miller could study alone. They studied for like four hours before Miller went home.  
"Okay, thanks for helping me" Buffy said.  
"Yeah you too, maybe I can take you out to dinner sometime, say Saturday next week?" Miller asked.  
"Uh, sure why not?" Buffy said.  
"Do you like French food?" he asked.  
"Yeah, I love it" Buffy said. "Okay there's this great place called duvet François de nourriture, it has a long name, but it's a great place, we could go there" Miller said. "Sound's great" Buffy said. "Okay, good, see you next Saturday" Miller said and left. Buffy went upstairs to check on Charlotte and Spike. She found them both asleep in her and Spike's bedroom. She smiled and picked up Charlotte and took her to her own room. She came back and covered Spike with a blanket and got her books and began studying again. She finally went to sleep at about 3:30 in the morning. "Buffy, sweetheart come on wake up" Spike said and shook Buffy the next morning. "Hmmm" Buffy said, still half asleep. "Come on lamb, we have plans remember" Spike said. Buffy opened her eyes. "What plans?" Buffy asked. "The whole day we had planned today, you know, breakfast, and stuff" Spike said. "Oh, right" Buffy said. "Well honey I was gonna go to the library to study today." "Oh come on it's Saturday, you can go to the library tomorrow, it will be fun, you me, Charley, come on baby" Spike said. "Okay, fine" Buffy said and got up. She got dressed and then got Charley dressed and then they left. They went to breakfast, then to the park and to the mall. Finally at about 6:00 they came home. They spent the rest of the night just hanging out at home. The next morning Buffy got a call. "Hello?" Spike answered Buffy's cell phone. "Hi, is Buffy there?" Miller asked. "Oh yeah, who's calling?" Spike asked "Uh, Miller Banks" Miller said. "Right, hold on" Spike said. "Buffy?"  
"Yeah?" Buffy asked coming down the stairs.  
"It's for you, Miller Banks" Spike said.  
"Oh, thanks" Buffy said and took the phone. "Hey. . .yeah, sure, okay, right now? All right, sure, bye." She hung up the phone and headed back up the stairs.  
"What was that about?" Spike asked.  
"Oh, Miller and I are gonna study at the library" Buffy said.  
"Oh" Spike said. Buffy got ready to go and then came back down stairs. She was wearing a red skirt and a royal blue long sleeved top with a red heart in the middle. She had on royal blue heeled sandals to match. Her hair was put in low pig tail braids, she looked cute.  
"Okay, got to motor" Buffy said.  
"Wait, who are you trying to impress?" Spike said.  
"No one, jealous?" Buffy said, smiling.  
"Damn right, you wear something like that to the library, where is this library, Hollywood?" Spike said.  
"Honey relax, make sure Charley gets a bath okay, bye I love you" Buffy said and kissed Spike before getting her book bag and leaving.  
Buffy drove to the library and Miller was already there.  
"Hey Buffy, wow you look nice" Miller said.  
"Thank you" Buffy said. "So, where do you want to sit?"  
"Uh, anywhere" Miller said.  
"Okay" Buffy said. They sat down in the back of the library.  
"So, how long have you known Spike?" Miller asked.  
"Uh, we've been married for a year. . .uh a year and five months" Buffy said.  
"Oh" Miller said.  
"So, what about you? Do you have a girlfriend or wife?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh, no, my girlfriend broke up with me a couple months ago" Miller said.  
"Oh, I'm sorry" Buffy said.  
"Yeah, well if she didn't break up with me I would of broken up with her, it just wasn't working out" Miller said.  
"What was her name?" Buffy asked.  
"Harmony" Miller said.  
"H-Harmony? Uh blonde hair, really ditzy?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh, y-yeah why?" Miller asked.  
"She's Spike's ex too" Buffy said.  
"Oh, was she unfaithful to him?" Miller asked.  
"Yeah, wow, small world huh?" Buffy chuckled.  
'Yeah, I guess so" Miller smiled. "Hey do you want to go to my place for a drink or something?"  
"Uh, sure why not" Buffy said.  
"Okay, then we could study there" Miller said.  
"Okay" Buffy said. They packed up their stuff and Buffy followed Miller to his place.  
"All right so, what's your poison?" Miller asked.  
"Uh, scotch on the rocks, uh and with a twist please" Buffy said.  
"Okay, coming right up" Miller said and poured her drink. "Here ya go."  
"Thank you" Buffy said and they sat and drank.  
"Uh, you know Buffy, you're really pretty, and sexy and beautiful and you deserve to be with someone, who can take care of you and who will treat you right" Miller said.  
"Uh, I have someone like that, Spike" Buffy said.  
"Well it just seems that he's a little. . .I don't know wound tight or something, look don't get me wrong" Miller said.  
"No, he's-" Buffy began, but before she could finish she felt Miller's lips on hers. 


	28. Confessions

Buffy's eyes grew wide as she felt Miller's lips on hers. She pulled away quickly automatically feeling guilty.  
"No, what are you doing?" she asked.  
"Shhh, it's okay" he said and tried to kiss her again.  
"Stop it, I'm married," she said.  
"Okay, all right I'm sorry, I just. . .I'm sorry okay" he said.  
"Yeah, I-I better get home" Buffy said.  
"I'm sorry Buffy, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" Miller said.  
"I-it's okay, I'll see you Monday okay, bye" Buffy said and hurried out. She drove home to find Spike. She wanted to tell him everything and apologize. She loved him and she would never cheat on him.  
"Hey honey" he said when she came through the door.  
"Hi, uh I have something to tell you, now please don't freak out okay, I love you so much and-" Buffy babbled on.  
"Hey, what's going on?" Spike asked cutting her off.  
"Okay, uh. . .you know how Miller and I went to the library to study?" Buffy asked.  
"Yeah, so?" Spike said.  
"Well after we studied, he invited me to his place to have a drink and with no warning or no intention on my part. . .he kissed me" Buffy told him.  
"He-he kissed you, he kissed you!" Spike said very mad.  
"Honey please don't be mad" Buffy said.  
"Oh why would I be mad? That wanker put his lips on you, did you like it?" he said harshly.  
"Spike I. . ." Buffy said starting to cry. She was running out of words. "Please, I didn't intend it, and I stopped it as soon as it started."  
"I'll kill him" he said going to the door.  
"Spike please! Don't go, I never meant for this to happen, and he knows now that I love you and that I don't want to be with anyone but you okay, and I promise you nothing like that will ever happen again" Buffy said.  
"Okay, all right fine, I believe you" he said seeing the desperate look on her face. "Come here." She went over to him and hugged him tightly and kissed him.  
"I love you" she whispered.  
"I love you too baby" he said and kissed her forehead. "But you're not gonna see him ever again."  
"Spike I have to, he's my partner in class" Buffy said.  
"I don't care, get a new partner" Spike said.  
"I can't everyone's taken, look honey nothing's gonna happen again okay, I love you, you're my husband, and the father of my daughter, you and Charley are the two most important people in my life" Buffy said.  
"It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust him" Spike said.  
"If you trust me, then trust me okay, I'm gonna go take a shower" Buffy said.  
"Uh. . .do you need some company, Charley's asleep" Spike said.  
"Sure" Buffy smiled.  
  
**********************  
  
"So, Mill, how was your 'study' date with what's her name?" Miller's friend Brett asked.  
"Her name's Buffy and it went fine" Miller said.  
"All right, how fine, I mean did you. . .?" Miller's other friend Kyle asked.  
"Did I what, get in her pants, not yet, but all good things come in time" Miller smiled.  
"I thought she was married?" Kyle asked.  
"She is, but I can change that, I got Harmony didn't I?" Miller asked.  
"Yeah, but didn't she cheat on you?" Brett asked and he and Kyle laughed at that.  
"Yeah, but this will be different, hey did you know that Buffy's husband, was Harmony's boyfriend too, I never saw him until I went to their house to study with Buffy" Miller asked.  
"Wow man, two woman in a row you're gonna take from that guy, you're lucky that he didn't know it was you who stole Harm from him" Kyle said.  
"Man he wont do anything, he's a punk, you'll see, by the end of the semester, Buffy will be mine" Miller said. 


	29. Duplicitous

"I have you tests back from Tuesday, now I know that we don't have class on Tuesday, but I like to give tests when there's no class, makes me know that you're deticated" the professor said. "Now most of the grades were good, but some. . .well lets just say that you should study more" he finished passing out the tests and when Buffy got hers she was very exited to get an.  
"Hey Buffy, what did you get, I got a B+" Miller asked.  
"Oh I got an A" Buffy said.  
"Hey good job" Miller said with a smile. "So, I know that our plans didn't work out because of our little misunderstanding, but I thought that you'd like to go out for pizza or something with me and my friends" Miller said. After what had happened Buffy canceled on Miller for their little get together at the French restaurant.  
"Uh, sure, I can use a celebration" Buffy said.  
"Cool, tomorrow night five o'clock okay?" Miller said.  
"Fine" Buffy said.  
"Good, see you at Mario's at five" Miller said and Buffy left. She stopped at the store for some groceries before going home. It was Spike's day off so he watched Charlotte instead of Joyce.  
"Spike, I'm home" Buffy said when she came through the doors. She had three paper bags of food in her hands and was about to droop them, but Spike came to the rescue.  
"Hey baby" he said grabbing two of the bags and giving Buffy a kiss on the cheek.  
"Hey, where's Charley I missed her today" Buffy said.  
"Oh she's in the living room playing with her toys" Spike said and he and Buffy took the groceries in the kitchen.  
"Charley, mama's home" Buffy said and went into the living room.  
"Mama!" Charley said in a happy voice and extended her hands out for Buffy to pick her up.  
"Hi sweetie" Buffy said and picked her up and kissed her.  
"So, how was school?" Spike asked.  
"Good, really good, I got an A on my math test" Buffy said.  
"Oh that's great honey we should celebrate" Spike said.  
"Well we can tonight" Buffy said.  
"Oh, can we tomorrow night honey I have plans tonight" Spike said.  
"Oh, well I'm going out tomorrow night" Buffy said.  
"With who?" Spike asked.  
"Uh, just some friends, you know from school" Buffy said.  
"Who?" Spike asked.  
"Uh, Suzie, Delia, Andrew-"  
"Miller?" Spike asked.  
"Uh. . .yeah I think he'll be there" Buffy said.  
"Then you won't" Spike said.  
"Wait a minute you can't tell me who and who not to hang out with" Buffy said.  
"Look, I don't want you hanging out with that guy okay, he's trouble, I mean he kissed you once before" Spike said.  
"Oh my god are we still on this I told you it won't happen again, I canceled on him for the dinner, we're just going out for pizza, and there's going to be a lot of us all right so chill" Buffy said.  
"Buffy I-" Spike began, but his cell phone rang and he stopped to answer it. "Hello? Yeah, oh hey Latonia, yeah I'll be there soon, okay, oh yeah I did. . .fine, all right, see ya" he said and then hung up the phone.  
"Okay, who's Latonia?" Buffy asked.  
"Just a friend from work" Spike said.  
"That's who you're going out with tonight?"  
"Uh-huh, why?" Spike asked.  
"You are such a hypocrite, you just finished telling me that you didn't want me to go out and have pizza with Miller and some friends, and you're going out dressed like that with some girl named 'Litany'" Buffy said as she look at what Spike was wearing. He had on a black pair of dress pants, but not too dressy with a light gray silk dress shirt and a pair of black dress shoes with is usual leather jacket.  
"Look, Latonia didn't kiss me okay" Spike said.  
"So, doesn't mean she won't" Buffy told him.  
"Look I'll be home at. . .well I don't know when I'll be home, but don't wait up okay, I love you" he said and tired to kiss her, but she moved away. "Fine." With that he turned and walked out the door. Buffy put Charley down in her playpen and went into the kitchen to call Willow and Cordelia. After that she called Dawn and her mom. She wanted to have a girl's night. They all arrived within an hour after the call.  
"Hey Buffy" Willow said happily.  
"Hey Will, hey Cordy" Buffy said.  
"Hi" Cordelia greeted.  
"Hello sweetie" Joyce said.  
"Hi mom" Buffy smiled.  
"And hello to you" Joyce said to Charley and picked her up from her playpen.  
"Ga'a" the little girl said happily.  
"Yeah that's right" Joyce said and kissed Charley.  
"Hey Buff" Dawn said.  
"Hey Dawnie" Buffy said back.  
"Okay, so, what should we do first?" Willow asked.  
"I know" Cordelia said and pulled out a bottle of wine.  
  
**********************  
  
Spike pulled up to the bar where he said he would meet Latonia and some other people. He walked inside and found his group.  
"Hey" he said.  
"Spike, how are you?" Latonia said.  
"Good, you?" he asked.  
"Fine, how's the wife and your daughter?" Latonia asked.  
"Good, they're good" Spike said.  
"Well that's good" Latonia said. They stayed and partied and drank until two in the morning. Latonia's ride left early so Spike said that he would drive her home.  
"Okay so here we are," Spike said.  
"Yeah, thanks" Latonia said.  
"You're welcome" Spike said.  
"So do you want to come up for a drink, or. . .we could do something else" Latonia said.  
"Uh. . ." Spike thought.  
"Oh come on, I'm sure your wife's asleep, she won't miss you" Latonia said. Spike looked at his watch, then straightforward and then he turned off the car engine and he and Latonia walked up to her apartment together. 


	30. All in the game of love

Spike walked through the door of his home at 2:30 in the morning. Buffy was already asleep along with Dawn. 'Bit must have spent the night' Spike thought as he looked at his wife, Dawn and Charley asleep on the couch. He picked Charley up and carried her upstairs and put he in her bed.  
When morning came Buffy woke up and Charley wasn't next to her like she was when she went to sleep.  
"Charley, Charlotte honey? Dawn wake up Charley's missing!" Buffy panicked.  
"No she's not sweetheart calm down" Spike said coming down the stairs carrying Charlotte.  
"Oh, my god, why didn't you wake me when you got home last night?" Buffy asked.  
"Because I didn't want to wake you- you know what I mean, I didn't want to bother you" Spike said.  
"Oh, so did you have a good time?" Buffy asked sarcastically.  
"Yes, as a matter of fact I did, and I missed you while doing it" Spike said and kissed Buffy on the forehead.  
"Well I missed you too, but I had fun too, just me and the girls, right Charley" Buffy said.  
"wite" Charley said in a small voice and Buffy smiled and took her from Spike.  
"Huh, hmm, what's going on" Dawn said sleepily as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.  
"Morning bit" Spike said.  
"Oh, hey" Dawn said and yawned and got up. "Anybody want cereal?"  
"No thanks" Buffy said.  
"None for me bit, thanks" Spike said and Buffy went into the kitchen.  
  
"You were out late you know" Buffy said.  
"Yeah" Spike said wondering where she was going with this.  
"Look I don't want to beleaguer you or anything, I just want you to know that I am going out tonight, and you can't be mad at me, or you shouldn't rather" Buffy said.  
"All right, fine whatever, have a jolly old time with your mates all right" he said and kissed her.  
"I will" she smiled. Suddenly the phone rang and Buffy answered it. "Hello?"  
"Uh hi my name is Latonia Frankford, um your husband left his jacket at me house when he was here last night" Latonia said.  
"Oh, he did?" Buffy asked.  
"Yeah, look I don't want to ruin the relationship or anything, but I have to tell you, your husband's a creep" Latonia said.  
"Excuse me?" Buffy said surprised.  
"Yeah, look I have to be honest, I invited him up for a drink hoping he'd you know what more, and then when I thought about it, you guys have a daughter and I didn't want to disrupt anything with you guys, but he really kept pushing and pushing and I. . .I'm sorry to say I gave in" Latonia said.  
"You slept together" Buffy said very quietly, almost to herself.  
"Pet who is it?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah, we did, look I'm so sorry for this I-" Latonia began but Buffy hung up the phone and looked at Spike hurt and upset.  
"What is it baby?" Spike asked.  
"Don't you baby me, I cannot believe you!" Buffy said.  
"What, what are you talking about?" Spike said.  
"Don't try to sit there and pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about, that was Latonia" Buffy said.  
"What did she tell you?" Spike asked.  
"Enough, in fact she told me everything, except the details, which I'm sure would have been next if I wouldn't of hung up on her" Buffy said enraged.  
"Guys what's going on?" Dawn said coming into the living room carrying her bowl of cocoa puffs.  
"Dawn, help me get Charley's things together" Buffy said heading upstairs.  
"Where are you going?" Spike asked.  
"To my mom's, Dawn now" Buffy said and Dawn put down the bowl and followed Buffy upstairs. Twenty minutes later Buffy and Dawn had Charley's and Buffy things packed and ready to go. Dawn helped Buffy load them into her car.  
"Come on pet let me explain" Spike said. Buffy scoffed at that.  
"Explain what? Spike there is nothing to explain okay, I don't want to hear it, I am going" Buffy said and she put Charley in the car and then she Dawn and the baby left for Joyce's place.  
"Buffy drove to her mom's trying not to cry. She couldn't believe that Spike would do something like this to her. She pulled into the driveway and got the baby out and then they all went inside.  
"Hey mom" Dawn said.  
"Hi honey, Buffy what's the matter" Joyce said when she saw the look on Buffy's face.  
"Dawn, um take Charlotte upstairs and watch her for me please" Buffy said and gave Charley to Dawn.  
"Sure" Dawn said and took the baby upstairs.  
"Honey what's going on?" Joyce asked.  
"Spike cheated on me" Buffy said now bursting into tears.  
  
OKAY, I KNOW THAT THIS CHAPTER WAS SHORT BUT I JUST WANTED TO PUT IT OUT THERE. WHAT WILL BUFFY DO? WHAT WILL SPIKE DO? WELL I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO KEEP READING TO FIND OUT. OH AND THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR ALL THE GREAT REVIEWS. AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO CHRIS, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 


	31. One big happy family

OKAY, HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER. I ALREADY HAVE PRETTY MUCH MAPPED OUT THE REST OF THE STORY, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY CHAPTERS IT'S GONNA TAKE. FEEL FREE TO E-MAIL ME WITH ANY IDEAS YOU MIGHT HAVE. WELL ENJOY!!!!  
  
Buffy lay in her old bed, in her old room trying to sleep. No matter what she tried, nothing would work. She thought it ludicrous that she felt the way she did. She couldn't believe that after all that had happened all she wanted was for Spike to hold her. On the other hand she couldn't look at him after he had slept with someone else. She couldn't believe that could do something like that to her, and after everything they've been through. She closed her eyes again trying once more to sleep, but it was no use. She sighed in frustration and sat up. She buried her head in her hands and began to cry again. She was so angry at Spike for doing this to her. She wanted to scream. She clenched her teeth and closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. She decided she had to get out. she got her jacket and took a walk. She didn't realize she was gone so long. By the time she got back it was already daylight. She walked in her mother's home and found her at the kitchen table.  
"Oh honey there you are, where were you?" Joyce asked.  
"Just out for a walk, I needed to get out, just to think and be away" Buffy said.  
"Oh okay, Spike called" Joyce said.  
"What did he say?" Buffy asked.  
"See for yourself, he left a message" Joyce said. Buffy went to the machine and pushed the play button.  
"Uh, Buffy, hi this is Spike, look can we talk please you don't understand, what she said happened did not happen I swear, please just hear me out, I love you I would never cheat on you okay please just come home, who are you gonna believe me, the father of your child, your husband, or a girl you've never met before, baby please just come home okay, I'll see you there bye, I love you and tell Charley I love her too" Spike said into the machine.  
"I don't know if I should believe him" Buffy said.  
"Honey I can't tell you what to do, but if you want my advice, go and talk to him okay, you can leave Charlotte here with me and Dawn, just go and here him out" Joyce said.  
"All right, you're right, okay, um I'll be back soon okay" Buffy said.  
"All right" Joyce said. Buffy got in her car and drove to her and Spike's place.  
"Buffy, you're here" Spike said.  
"Yeah, I'm here, start talking" Buffy said.  
"Look, last night I took Toni home, and she invited me upstairs for a drink, and she offered other things too, but I only took the drink okay, and she was angry, that's why she called and told you that, I did not sleep with her all right, I swear" Spike said. "Baby you have to believe me okay."  
"Why?" Buffy asked.  
"What do you mean why? Because I love you and I'd never-" Spike began.  
"No, why should I trust you, I mean you don't seem to trust me, I can't even go to pizza with friends without you freaking out, why should I- " Buffy ranted on, but stopped when she felt Spike's lips on hers.  
"I love you" he whispered.  
"I. . .I love you too" she said giving in and meting into his arms. She had to believe him. She loved him and she didn't want to leave him.  
"So you believe me?" he asked looking down at her.  
"Yes, I believe you" Buffy said and he kissed her again.  
  
**********************  
  
Latonia pulled up to an apartment building. She got out of her car and walked up the stairs and knocked on apartment number 15A. Miller answered the door.  
"Did it work?" he asked and she entered the apartment very frustrated.  
"No, it didn't, but I think I did something else that would make them break up" she said, sitting on the couch.  
"What?" he asked.  
"Well I called Buffy and told her that we slept together" Latonia said.  
"Did she buy it?" Miller asked.  
"I think she did, but we'll see, next time you see her ask her" Latonia said.  
"Well I'm seeing her tonight, we're going to pizza with a bunch of friends" Miller said.  
"Oh, well, that's good, ask her how her and Spike are" Latonia said.  
  
**********************  
  
Buffy and Spike went to Joyce's to pick up Charlotte afterwards they went home. After they put the baby down for her nap they had a little make up party (hint hint wink wink.) When it was four thirty Buffy started getting ready to go for pizza with Miller and her friends.  
"Where are you going?" Spike asked.  
"To Mario's, I told you" Buffy said getting out a pair of jeans and a tube top.  
"With Miller" Spike reminded himself.  
"Yes and a lot of other people, Spike you can't-" Buffy began.  
"I know, I know, have fun" he said and giving her a kiss on the forehead.  
"Thank you" she said and he left the room and she got dressed. She looked in the mirror. She was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a black tube top with the word 'Hottie' in pink glittery letters and she put on the 'Queen Elizabeth' sweatshirt that Xander had given her and zipped it up, but left it open enough to see the word 'hottie' on her tube top. She put her hair in a ponytail and put on her pink chucky healed sandals to match. After doing all that it was time to go. She grabbed her purse, said goodbye to Spike and the baby and left.  
Buffy arrived at Mario's at 5:10. she hurried over to the table where everyone was sitting.  
"Hey Buffy" Miller said.  
"Hey, sorry I'm late" Buffy said.  
"No problem, so what do you like on your pizza?" Suzie asked.  
"Uh, anything, oh except anchovies, I hate those" Buffy said.  
"Who doesn't?" Miller asked rhetorically.  
"Me" Andrew said.  
"Well we're not accounting for you Andrew" Miller joked. They got their food and talked about everything.  
"Buffy I like your outfit, but I'm a little confused, do you like queen Elizabeth or something?" Delia asked.  
"Oh, no, my real name's Elizabeth, my nickname is Buffy" Buffy told them.  
"Oh, the shirt makes so much more sense now, I thought that you mean that you liked queen Elizabeth that's why you're a bad girl" Delia said.  
'No" Buffy smiled.  
"Cool" Delia said.  
"So, Buffy, how are you and Spike?" Miller asked.  
"Fine, great actually" Buffy said.  
"Really" Miller said.  
"Yeah, we had a small fight, um, but everything is fine now, peachy keen in Buffy and Spike town" Buffy smiled and Miller forced a fake smile. 'I thought that Toni said they would break up' he thought. After pizza everyone started to go home.  
"So, Buffy, drinks? Do you want to go to my place, or we could go to the bar or something?" Miller said.  
"No, I just want to go home and be with my husband and daughter" Buffy said getting into her car.  
"Okay, well I'll see you in class all right" he said.  
"Sure, see ya" Buffy said and drove away. She pulled into the driveway and then got out of the car and walked into the house.  
"Hey" Spike said coming from the kitchen with Charley in one hand a bowl of popcorn in the other.  
"Hi" Buffy said and went over to him and took the baby. Spike set the bowl down on the coffee table.  
"Uh, do you want a soda?" he asked.  
"Sure" Buffy said and Spike went back into the kitchen and came back with a beer, a soda and a bottle for Charlotte.  
"Here you go" Buffy said.  
"Thanks honey" Buffy said. Spike handed the bottle to Charlotte and sat down on the couch and pushed play on the DVD remote. "Whatcha watchin'"  
  
"Uh, Head of State" Spike said not looking at her.  
"Is something wrong?" she asked fiddling with his hair.  
"No, why?" he asked; now looking at her.  
"Because I've been home for almost ten minutes and you haven't kissed me" she smiled slyly. He leaned down and kissed her on the lips.  
"That's better" she said and laid her head on his shoulder. Charlotte was falling asleep, drinking her bottle. "I love you."  
"I love you too baby" he said and the movie began to play.  
"I love moments like this, just you, me and our baby, just one big happy family" Buffy smiled. Spike smiled also, putting his arm around Buffy and not even twenty minutes into the movie, they were all asleep.  
  
ALL RIGHT. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE THESE CHAPTERS SPACED OUT BUT FOR SOME REASON IT WON'T SO I'M SORRY. BUT THANKS FOR READING ANYWAY AND THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. 


	32. Babies

Buffy woke up at nine o'clock and decided to go over to Willow's to hang out for a while. She got dressed and woke Spike to tell him where she was going. He decided to go to Xander's and do the same. Buffy took the baby with her.  
"Buffy, hey what's up" Willow said opening the door to let her in.  
"I hope this isn't a bad time, I just thought we could hang or something" Buffy said.  
"No, it's not a bad time, come in" Willow said and Buffy entered her apartment.  
"So, how are things with you and OZ?" Buffy asked.  
"Good, they're good" Willow said nervously.  
"Will, what's wrong?" Buffy asked setting Charlotte down on the floor with her toys.  
"Uh, I think I might be pregnant" Willow said fiddling with her hands.  
"What? Are you serious?" Buffy said astonished.  
"I'm not sure, but what if I am, what do I do?" Willow said.  
"Well, honey you are an adult, if you are there's nothing anybody can do but you" Buffy said. "What do you want? I mean do you want a baby?"  
"I'm not sure, I-I mean I was hoping to become a lawyer or something, I-I've been doing well in school a-and I can do something with my life, but I-I mean if I have a baby, then. . .I don't' know" Willow said sitting on the couch.  
"Sweetie it's gonna be okay all right, I'll help you, and I will be here for you no matter what you decided okay" Buffy said hugging her friend.  
"Thanks Buffy" Willow said with a big sigh.  
"And besides you don't even know for sure, so, we'll go to the store and get a test and then we'll know all right" Buffy said.  
"Okay" Willow agreed. They went to the nearest drug store and bought a pregnancy test and went back to Willow's apartment.  
"Okay Will, it say that you have to wait a minute and a half, so set that timer there and I guess we wait" Buffy said and Willow set the timer and they sat on the couch waiting.  
"Buffy' I think I'm gonna throw up" Willow said nervously.  
"Just relax" Buffy said stroking Willow's hair. After a minutes and thirty seconds the timer beeped and Willow jumped.  
"I can't look, Buffy I can't do it, you have to" Willow said.  
"Okay, I'll do it" Buffy said and went into the bathroom and looked at the test.  
  
**********************  
  
Meanwhile Xander was talking to Spike about a similar situation.  
"So, Cordelia's pregnant huh?" Spike said as Xander brought in two beer bottles.  
"Yep, she's pregnant" Xander said giving Spike the beer.  
"What are you guys gonna do?" Spike asked.  
"Get married I guess, but I'm not sure, god you know the really messed up thing, I was gonna tell her that we should see other people, and now what am I gonna do?" Xander asked.  
"You don't love her anymore?" Spike asked taking a drink of the beer.  
"It's not that I don't love her it's just that we. . .we've grown apart I guess" Xander said.  
"Well what does she want to do?" Spike asked.  
"I don't know man, we haven't really talked about it" Xander said. "Do you like being married and having a kid?"  
"Yeah, I love Buffy and Charley more than anything" Spike said.  
"Yeah, but it's not about loving them right, I mean it's about wanting that kind of life" Xander said.  
"I guess, but I like the life I have now" Spike said.  
"But that's the thing, I'm not sure I want that" Xander said.  
"Well then that's what you need to figure out, what's more important, you freedom or your family" Spike said.  
  
**********************  
  
"Willow" Buffy said bringing the test out of the bathroom wrapped in toilet paper.  
"Yeah, what does it say?" Willow asked.  
"It says that-" Buffy began, but there was a knock at the door and Willow got up and answered it and it was Cordelia and she was crying.  
"Honey what's wrong?" Willow asked letting her in.  
"I'm. . .I'm pregnant" Cordelia cried.  
"What?" Buffy said coming closer.  
"Yeah" Cordy sniffed. "I found out yesterday."  
"Oh my god, does Xander know?" Willow asked.  
"Yeah, I told him as soon as I found out" Cordelia said.  
"What did he say?" Buffy asked.  
"He was okay with it" Cordelia said still crying.  
"Well then what's wrong?" Buffy asked.  
"I think he wants to get married, but I. . .I don't" Cordelia cried.  
"Well sweetie why don't you just tell him that?" Willow asked.  
"Because it'd break his heart, I love him I just don't want to get married" Cordelia said.  
"Oh honey" Buffy said coming over and giving Cordy a hug. She began to sob more.  
"I don't know what to do" she said.  
"Buffy? What does mine say?" Willow asked.  
"What?" Cordelia sniffed. "You're pregnant too?"  
"I don't know yet, Buffy?" Willow asked.  
"You're gonna have a baby Will" Buffy said and Willow's mouth dropped and Cordelia smiled and hugged her.  
"Now I'm not alone, this is great" Cordelia said.  
"Heh, yeah. . .great" Willow said still amazed. 


	33. Unexpected betrayal

Buffy, Willow and Cordelia sat at the doctor's office waiting. It was Cordy and Will's first appointment. Xander had to work and Oz was out of town. Spike was watching Charlotte. When Willow told Oz he was happy. Willow was relieved of that. Cordelia and Xander still hadn't decided what they were gonna do.  
"Uh, Miss Rosenberg and Miss Chase" the nurse said. They had requested to be examined together. They followed the nurse into the room and sat down. "The doctor will be in shortly." With that statement she left.  
"I can't believe I'm pregnant" Willow said.  
"Hey me either, god I hope I don't get stretch marks" Cordelia said.  
"Buffy how does it feel to be a mother?" Willow asked.  
"Guys it's the greatest feeling on the face of the earth, just holding that baby in your arms, knowing that you created it, it's. . .I can't explain it" Buffy said.  
"I hope my baby is as beautiful as Charley" Willow said. Charlotte had wavy blonde hair and bright blue eyes and dimpled cheeks.  
"Thanks Will, and I'm sure that both of your guy's children will be beautiful" Buffy assured them. Just then the doctor came into the room.  
"Hello ladies, I'm doctor Helen, hello Buffy how are you?" Dr. Helen asked.  
'I'm good" Buffy said.  
"And Charlotte, how is she?" the doctor asked.  
"She's fine thanks" Buffy said.  
"Good, okay who wants to go first?" Dr. Helen asked.  
"Um, I guess I will to get it over with" Cordelia said and laid on the examining table.  
"Okay, just relax, let's see" the doctor said and did an ultrasound. She confirmed that Cordelia was a month pregnant and Willow was a month and a half pregnant. After the appointment the three girls went for ice cream and then they all went home.  
"Spike, I'm home" Buffy said and came into the living room to find Drusilla sitting with Spike and Charlotte, and she was holding her! "What the hell."  
"Hey honey" Spike said getting up.  
"What are you. . .give me my baby" Buffy said and took Charlotte from Drusilla.  
"Don't be hasty, I just came to visit" Dru said and Buffy felt like smacking her.  
"Honey relax okay, she's just here for a day or two, I told her she could. . .stay here- is that okay, just for a couple of days" Spike said and Buffy's eyes went wide.  
"No! no way! Uh-uh, not now not ever!" Buffy said.  
"Oh come on baby, look if she promises not to-" Spike began.  
"Not to what, be slutty and try to steal you away from me?" Buffy said harshly.  
"Okay, yeah, then can she stay?" Spike said.  
"Look I won't be any trouble I promise" Drusilla said with a fake smile.  
"Fine, but if you start anything I'm going to kick your-" Buffy began.  
"It will be okay" Spike said.  
"You'll sleep on the sofa" Buffy said in monotone and took the baby upstairs.  
Buffy gave Charlotte a bath and put her to bed and then went back downstairs to find Spike and Drusilla talking.  
"Hey baby is Charlotte asleep?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah" Buffy said and sat on the couch opposite where Drusilla and Spike were sitting.  
"Okay, well anyone want anything to drink?" Spike asked getting up.  
"Uh I'd like some tea" Dru said.  
"All right, sweetie?" he asked Buffy.  
"Anything with alcohol" Buffy said folding her arms across her chest and slumping down in the couch.  
"Gotcha" Spike said and went to retrieve the drinks.  
"So, how did you find the house, were you stalking us or something?" Buffy asked Drusilla.  
"No, I looked it up" Dru said.  
"We're not listed" Buffy said grimly.  
"I have friends in high places" Drusilla said.  
"I'll bet you do" Buffy muttered to herself.  
"Okay, one cup of tea" he said handing the tea to Drusilla. "And a beer" he said and then gave Buffy the beer.  
"Thanks honey" Buffy said and sat up as Spike sat beside her.  
"So, how old's your baby?" Dru asked.  
"Uh, she's a year" Spike said.  
"Well she's beautiful, she looks just like you William" Drusilla said obviously hitting on Spike.  
"Okay, stop hitting on my husband all right, you couldn't be more obvious" Buffy said.  
"I am not-" Drusilla began, but then the phone rang.  
"Hello?" Buffy said irritated.  
"B-Buffy, it's mom" Joyce said, her voice shaky.  
"What's wrong?" Buffy asked getting up.  
"It's Dawn, she's hurt, we're at Sunnydale Memorial" Joyce said.  
"I'll be there" Buffy said and hung up the phone. "Uh Spike, watch Charley I have to go."  
"What's the matter?" he asked.  
"Dawn's in the hospital" Buffy said and got her jacket and purse and left.  
Buffy drove as fast as she could without wrecking or getting a ticket to the hospital and ran to the front desk.  
"Hi, my sister's here, Dawn Summers" Buffy said.  
"Oh Buffy you're here" Joyce said and Buffy ran over to her.  
"Mom what's wrong, where's Dawn?" Buffy asked.  
"It's okay, she's gonna be fine, she broke her arm and a couple ribs, and she has some scratches and bruises but she'll be okay" Joyce said.  
"What happen?" Buffy asked sitting down.  
"She got hit by a car, she was riding her bike to the corner market to get some candy and she got hit" Joyce said.  
"Where is she? Can I see her?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh, yeah she's in here" Joyce said and led Buffy to Dawn's room.  
  
**********************  
  
Miller was flipping through the pages of an old yearbook. He had gone to the library and they had some. He wanted to find Buffy's picture. He had collected as many pictures of her as he could find. He came to her picture and got the scissors and cut it out and put in the folder he had of her. He had information and pictures of her. He was determined to win her over. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and he answered it.  
"Latonia" he said and let her in.  
"Hello Miller" she said. "I've come up with a new plan, one that I think will work."  
"Really, what is it?" he asked.  
"We have to get them out on the same night, different places of course, and then we have to try to seduce them" Latonia said.  
"Oh please, like that would work" Miller said.  
"Oh it will if they're drunk" Latonia smiled.  
"Interesting. . .that might actually work, we just have to get the perfect day" Miller said.  
  
**********************  
"Here you go honey" Buffy said giving Dawn the cup of juice.  
"Thanks Buffy" Dawn said. "How long will I have to be in here, you're not the only one who gets the wiggins from hospitals you know" Dawn said.  
"Soon honey" Joyce assured her.  
"Anyway, good news I need something, some gossip or something" Dawn said.  
"Willow and Cordelia are pregnant" Buffy said.  
"What? Are you serious?" Dawn said.  
"Yeah, Willow more than Cordy, Will's almost two months and Cordy's a month" Buffy said.  
"Wow" Joyce said.  
"I call them copycats" Buffy joked.  
"So, where's your baby?" Joyce asked.  
"At home with Spike. . .and Drusilla" Buffy said clenching her teeth when saying her name.  
"Drusilla? Why is she there?" Joyce asked.  
"Because my dear husband invited her to stay with us for a couple of days, and I'm telling you if she starts anything I'm going to kick her ass" Buffy said.  
"Do you think she will?" Dawn asked.  
"I don't know, I'm actually hoping she does so I can beat the living crap out of her" Buffy said.  
"Well I know you can take her" Dawn said.  
"Thanks Dawnie" Buffy said and laid back in the bed with her little sister.  
Buffy made it home at ten o'clock. She was tired and just wanted to go to bed.  
"Hey honey, is the nibblit okay?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah, she'll be fine, she has a broken arm and some broken ribs, but other than that. . ." Buffy said.  
"What happened?" Spike asked.  
"She got hit by a car" Buffy said.  
"Oh"  
"Anyway, goodnight, is Charlotte asleep?"  
"Yeah, I'll be up in a few okay" he said and kissed her on the cheek.  
"Okay" she said and went upstairs.  
It was Early the next morning and Buffy's cell phone rang. She sleepily got out of bed and answered it.  
"Hell?"  
"Buffy, it's Miller, I need your help" Miller said.  
"What is it?" Buffy asked rubbing her eyes.  
"My car broke down and I need a ride, I'm sorry to wake you this early, but. . ." he said.  
"No, it's okay, um, where are you?" Buffy asked getting a pen and paper.  
"I'm in L.A." he said.  
"L.A.? Why are you in L.A.?" Buffy asked.  
"Long story, can you come?" he asked.  
"Uh, sure, I'll be there as soon as I can" Buffy said and hung up the phone and got dressed. "Spike?"  
"Hmm?" he said still half asleep.  
"I have to go out for a while okay, I'll be back as soon as I can" she said.  
"Mmm-hmm" he said, his eyes still closed. She kissed him on the forehead and then went into Charley's bedroom and gave her a kiss before leaving.  
It took Buffy only two hours to drive to L.A. She called Miller on his cell phone and he told her where he was. She found him quickly. Living in L.A. her whole life really helped too.  
"Hey Mill" she said.  
"Buffy, thank you so much for coming" Miller said.  
"No problem" she said. "So, let's get home."  
"Uh, can you take me to my hotel to get my stuff first?" he asked.  
"Sure" Buffy said. She drove to his hotel so he could get his things.  
"Uh, come in, it's going to take a while for me to get my stuff" Miller said.  
"Um. . .it's okay, I'll just wait here" Buffy said.  
"Oh come on, I'm gonna feel guilty knowing that you're out here, please?" he asked.  
"Okay, sure" she said and they went into the room.  
"Sit" he said. She sat and looked around, when she looked back at him she noticed that he was locking the door.  
"What are you doing?" she asked.  
"Shhh, it's okay, just relax" Miller said.  
"Uh, I think I will wait in the car" Buffy said and tried to move past him, but he grabbed her. "No! Let my go!" she screamed and he covered her mouth with his hand.  
'Shhh, I said relax" he said dragging her over to the bed.  
"What are you doing let me go" she said.  
"I'll be quick I promise" he said laying her on the bed and laying on top of her. "I've been thinking of you Buffy, you're so beautiful, I want you, I need you." He started kissing her neck and she began to cry. "Shhh, baby."  
"I'm not your baby, let me go!" she screamed and tried to wiggle out of his grasp.  
"Buffy I don't want to hurt you" he said and pulled out a knife. "But that doesn't mean I won't." he started unbuttoning her blouse and he stopped when it revealed her bra. Then he unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down slightly.  
"Please, please just leave me alone" she begged.  
"Oh, honey I promise you'll like it" he said and kissed her. He straddled her, sitting up straight and took of his shirt. Then he undid his belt and took of his pants, leaving him only in his boxers. "Now, comes the fun part."  
"Please Miller, just leave me alone" she begged and he kissed her again and took off her pants and underwear and his boxers were next.  
"I've been waiting for this moment for the longest time" he said and punched her, knocking her unconscious. "I can't have you putting up a fight." He said as he lowed himself onto her. 


	34. Conception

HEY GUYS. DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING DID YA! WELL I WANTED TO PUT IN A TURNING POINT. THERE ARE MORE SURPRISES TO COME!  
  
Buffy woke up in the hotel room. She quickly got scared that Miller would hurt her again, but he wasn't there. She dressed her self and quickly got into her car and drove away. She cried the whole way home. She parked her car at her mom's house. She didn't want to tell Spike. She needed to talk to her mom. Dawn had come home from the hospital this morning and she was pretty sure that her mom would be home. She knocked on the door and her mom answered it.  
'Buffy honey, hi. . .what's wrong?" she asked seeing the look on Buffy's face.  
"Mom I have to talk to you, it's important" Buffy said.  
"Of course honey, come in" Joyce said and let Buffy in Buffy went into the living room and sat on the couch, trying not to cry.  
"Mom. . .I. . .I was raped" Buffy said and Joyce eyes went wide.  
"What? Oh my god, I. . .who. . .what. . ." she said.  
"It was Miller" Buffy said bursting into tears and Joyce held her daughter.  
"Oh honey I. . .I don't know what to say" Joyce said.  
"I'm so scared" Buffy whispered through tears.  
"I know baby, I know, have to talked to Spike?" Joyce asked.  
"No, I can't tell him" Buffy said.  
"Sweetie you have to" Joyce said.  
"I. . .I went there to help him he. . .he said that his car broke down and. . ." Buffy sobbed.  
"Shhh, it's gonna be okay sweetie I promise, we're gonna go the doctor and then to the police station to report this, I promise you he will be put behind bars okay" Joyce said.  
"Okay" Buffy said and Joyce helped her up.  
"I'm going to go tell Dawn we're leaving" Joyce said.  
"Mom don't tell her okay" Buffy said.  
"Of course" Joyce said and went upstairs and came back down a couple minutes later.  
Joyce drove Buffy to the hospital and after that they went to the police station to report it. After that Joyce took Buffy home and helped her inside. Buffy was still very shocked and hardly able to move herself.  
"Spike?" Joyce called and he emerged from the kitchen with Charley in his arms followed by Drusilla.  
"Hey guys what's. . .what's wrong?" Spike asked.  
"Buffy honey do you want to tell him?" Joyce asked, but Buffy just started at the ground with a terrifying look on her face. "Spike, uh we should talk in private"  
"Oh, yeah, uh Dru will you take the baby and go into the kitchen please?" Spike asked, Buffy wanted to protest, she didn't want Dru holding her daughter, but she couldn't talk. Drusilla took the baby and went into the kitchen. "So, what's wrong, Buffy are you okay?" Buffy still didn't answer, just stared at the ground.  
"Spike, Buffy came to me when she got back from L.A. she told me that. . .that she was raped" Spike said and Spike jumped up.  
"What! Who? When. . .how. . .I" Spike said and Buffy began to cry again and he went over to her and held her. "Baby it's-it's gonna be okay, who did this to you, do you know who?"  
"M. . .Miller" she managed to say.  
"I'll kill him" he said and went to the door.  
"Spike please" Buffy said, but Spike cut in.  
"No, he is going to be sorry that he ever met you" Spike said enraged and left. Buffy broke down and Joyce went to comfort her. Drusilla came from the kitchen.  
"I-is there anything I can do to help, I-I couldn't help but here" she said, and for the first time she sounded sincere.  
"Uh can you get a blanket from the linen closet please" Joyce asked.  
"Sure" Dru said, still holding the baby.  
"Come on sweetie, we're going to get you a bath and clean you up" Joyce said and helped her upstairs and ran the water and helped her in and helped her clean up. After that she helped her into her pajamas and then put her in bed. Drusilla gave her the blanket and Joyce covered Buffy with it. "Do you want me to call Cordy and Willow?"  
"Yeah" Buffy said. Joyce called them and they hurried over.  
"Sweetie we came as soon as we could, how are you?" Cordelia asked and then realized how stupid the question was. "I just meant-"  
"I know. . .I'm, not good" Buffy said quietly.  
"Oh honey" Willow said and they both climbed into bed with her. Willow on the right and Cordy on the left. Buffy was facing the right and Willow tuned her back towards her and moved close to her and took her hand and held in hers. Cordelia also laid close to Buffy putting her arm around her waist.  
Spike arrived home an hour later and Joyce was sitting with the baby on the couch.  
"Spike, you're back, what happened?" Joyce asked.  
"I went to the wanker's apartment, went to kill him and he wasn't there, his next door neighbor said that the cops came, took him away" Spike said angrily.  
"Oh, that's good" Joyce sighted.  
"Yeah, I just wished I could have had my way with him first" Spike said. "Where's Buffy?"  
"Upstairs with Cordelia and Willow, I think she's asleep" Joyce said.  
"I'm gonna go check on her" Spike said and went upstairs to find a sleeping Buffy, Willow and Cordelia. He leaned over Willow and kissed Buffy on the head. Then he kissed Willow and then he went over and kissed Cordelia and then he left.  
"I don't know what to do for her" Joyce said.  
"Me either" Spike said.  
"Uh. . .maybe I should go, there's so much going on here, look I'll keep in touch okay" Drusilla said and got her stuff together.  
"All right Dru it was nice to see you again" Spike said. Drusilla smiled and left.  
Buffy woke three hours later and her two friends were no longer in bed with her. She got up slowly, remembering what had happened. She went downstairs to find everyone sitting around making small talk.  
"Buffy, sweetie you're awake," Joyce said.  
"Yeah" she said quietly and walked the rest of the way down the stairs and sat in the chair that was in the corner of the room.  
"Honey why don't you sit over here" Spike said moving aside for her.  
"I. . ." she said and then got up and went over and sat by him and he put his arm around her.  
"How are you feeling sweetheart?" he asked.  
"Not good" she said not looking at him, just staring at her hands that were on her lap.  
"They got Miller baby, they arrested him" Joyce said.  
"They did? Where did they find him?" Buffy asked, now looking at everyone.  
"His place, stupid git went back there" Spike said. Buffy sighed with relief.  
"Good" she said and laid her head on Spike shoulder and closed her eyes. "I can't believe all this is happening, I trusted him."  
"Baby it's gonna be okay all right I promise" Spike said.  
"How?" Buffy said, tearing up. "How is any of this gonna get better, I will never forget what he did to me, ever."  
"I know" Spike said and she got up and faced him.  
"No, no you don't, you have no idea, I thought he was gonna kill me, you have. . ." she said and began to cry and dropped to her knees. "Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?" Spike went over to her and held her.  
"Shhh, it's all right, we are all here for you okay, always" he said.  
  
*Three Weeks Later*  
  
Buffy threw up in the toilet again. She had been feeling sick the last couple days. She flushed the toilet and walked into her and Spike's bedroom and laid down. Spike walked in a couple seconds later.  
"Hey honey, what's the matter?" he asked.  
"I don't feel good, that's all" she said closing her eyes.  
"Remember, the trial's tomorrow" Spike said.  
"I know" she said. Miller was being tried tomorrow for what happened and Buffy had to testify against him.  
"Maybe you should go to the doctor" Spike said lying on the bed next to her and propping himself up on his elbow.  
"Yeah, I guess you're right" she said.  
"I think you should go now, before the trial tomorrow" Spike said. "You don't want to get worse."  
"Okay" she said and got up. "I'm gonna take Charlotte wit me."  
"Why?" he asked.  
"Because I haven't really spent much time with her" Buffy said and got dressed comfortably in a pair of puffy gray sweatpants and a white t- shirt that said 'Love me' in red letters and she wore her gray New York sweatshirt over that. After getting the baby dressed she left for the doctor.  
"Hello Mrs. Bryson, I'm doctor Frank" the doctor said.  
"Hi" Buffy said.  
"And who might this be?" Dr. Frank asked.  
"My daughter Charlotte" Buffy told him.  
"Well hello" he smiled. "So, what seems to be the problem?"  
"I don't know, I've just been sick to my stomach for the past few days" Buffy told him.  
"Well, are you sexually active right now?" he asked.  
"Uh. . .y-yeah, but n-not for a while, something traumatic happened a few weeks ago and I haven't been able to. . ." she trailed off remember what Miller had done to her.  
"What? I'm sorry I don't mean to pry, but if you were in an accident or something there could be internal bleeding-" he said, but she stopped him.  
"No, it wasn't anything like that um. . .I was. . .raped a few weeks ago" she said quietly.  
"Oh, I'm so sorry Mrs. Bryson" he said.  
"Buffy, please, and it's okay, but ever since then I just. . ."  
"No, I get it, well even if you haven't been in the last few weeks you could still be pregnant, we'll do a blood test and see" he said.  
"Oh goody, blood" she said.  
"Okay, I'll be back in a couple minutes. The doctor came back a few minutes later with a nurse and they took the blood. "Um this will take about a day, but if you want to stay about an hour, hour and a half we can get it then."  
"Okay" she said. While she was waiting she got something to drink for her and Charley and let the baby play with the toys there and finally the doctor came back.  
"All right Buffy, I've got the test back and it confirmed that you are pregnant" he said.  
"Oh, good, I. . .think" she said.  
"We can do an examination now if you'd like, to make sure the baby's okay" the doctor said.  
"All right" Buffy said and the doctor led her into a room. He did the examination and confirmed that everything was fine.  
"The baby was conceived about three and a half weeks ago" he said. She then realized something that terrified her.  
"Oh my god" she whispered to herself. "The baby might not be Spike's." 


	35. Trial by jury

OKAY, WELL THE REASON THE STORY IS GOING THIS WAY IS BECAUSE IT'S NEARING Its END I'M SORRY TO SAY. I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY MORE CHAPTERS IT'S GONNA TAKE BUT WE'LL SEE.  
  
Buffy drove home slowly. How was she going to tell Spike this news. How was she going to tell him that the child growing inside her might not be his. She could hardly breathe. As she pulled into the driveway she thought of what to say. 'Gee well let's see, I'm sorry to tell you this honey, but the child inside me, it might not be yours' Buffy thought and shook her head and got out of the car and took Charlotte out of her seat and went into the house. Spike wasn't seen when she walked into the living room. She put Charley in her playpen and walked into the kitchen and he wasn't there either. She closed her eyes and called out to him.  
"Spike?" he didn't answer and she was relieved. She picked up the phone and called her mom, then Cordelia then Willow. She needed to talk to them. She wanted more than anything to tell Spike, but she didn't want to hurt him, or he to get mad at her. Within thirty minutes her mom, Dawn and her friends were there.  
"Hey honey, what did you want to talk about, are you nervous about the trial tomorrow" Joyce asked.  
"No, well yes, but that's not it, uh. . .Dawn can you take Charlotte upstairs and give her a bath?" Buffy asked.  
"You just don't want me to hear huh?" Dawn said and picked up the little girl.  
"Honey I promise that I will tell you soon, just not now okay" Buffy said.  
"Fine" Dawn said and took Charley upstairs.  
"What's up?" Cordelia asked.  
"Well first, how are you two, with the pregnancy and all?" Buffy asked.  
"Good" Willow said.  
"Me too" Cordy said.  
"Have you and Xander decided what you're going to do?" Buffy asked.  
"No, not yet, but I think I'm going to go and talk to him soon" Cordelia said.  
"Well tell me when you find out" Buffy said.  
"Of course, so what did you want to talk about?" Cordelia said.  
"Okay, well, I'm pregnant again" Buffy said and they all began to congratulate her.  
"Oh that's great honey" Joyce said.  
"Hey you're joining us, cool" Willow said.  
"Awesome" Cordy said.  
"Well that's the thing, I'm not so sure that. . .that the baby's Spike's" Buffy said and their smiles went to far fetched stares.  
"What? You cheated on him?" Cordelia said.  
"No of course not, but. . .I think it might be Miller's" Buffy said looking down in guilt.  
"Oh, oh honey" Joyce said and went over to hug her daughter. "I'm sorry."  
"What if it is? What are you going to do? I mean are you going to give it up for adoption or abort it?" Willow asked.  
"No, I. . .I feel so ashamed to say that but, I could never do that, I could never give my baby up for adoption or kill it, no matter whose it is" Buffy said. "I'm just praying to god that it's Spike's."  
"Does he know?" Joyce asked.  
"No, not yet, I just found out like an hour ago I. . .I don't know how to tell him" Buffy said. Suddenly Spike walked through the door.  
"Hey, who died?" he asked throwing his jacket on the back of the chair.  
"We'll go upstairs with Dawn and leave you two alone to talk" Joyce said and she, Willow and Cordy went upstairs.  
"So, what's wrong?" Spike asked.  
"Okay, I went to the doctor as you know and. . .he said that I'm pregnant again" Buffy said and Spike's eyes lit up, which made Buffy feel even guiltier.  
"Really this is great" he said and began to come towards her to hug her but she put her hand up to stop him.  
"Uh, there's, there's more" she said. "The baby was conceived three and a half weeks ago."  
"So" he said not knowing and then realized what she meant. "Oh. . .Oh my god, it's not mine is it?"  
"Honey I don't know, it might be" Buffy said.  
"But it might not" he said and went over to the couch and sat down.  
"I'm sorry" she said.  
"Why are you sorry it's not your fault" he said. Her eyes began to fill up with tears and the slowly trickled down her cheeks. "We uh, we need to do a test thingy right, to confirm it?"  
"Yeah" Buffy said. "They'll take some of the DNA from your blood and match it with the baby's."  
"When?" he asked looking at her with tears in his eyes also.  
"I don't know, we have to make an appointment, it has to be sometime after the trial though" she said.  
"Fine, we'll do the test" he said.  
"Right" she said.  
"What if it isn't mine, what will you do?" he asked.  
"What do you mean?" she asked him.  
"Will you keep it?" he asked.  
"I. . .yes" she said quietly.  
"How? How could you keep a baby made by him?" he asked hurt and angry.  
"Spike it's not the baby's fault, I mean it didn't ask to be born" Buffy said.  
"I have to take a walk" he said and grabbed his jacket and left.  
"Spike" she said, but he closed the door without turning around. Buffy just sat there and buried her head in her hands and began to cry. Soon after that Willow, Cordelia and Joyce came back downstairs.  
"Honey? Sweetie it will be okay" Joyce said as she sat next to Buffy and held her.  
"Why is all this happening to me? What did I do so wrong that I have all this?" Buffy cried. Joyce rocked her back and forth. Buffy cried herself to sleep. Spike soon came home and he carried Buffy upstairs and put her to bed.  
Buffy's alarm clock went off at seven a.m. She groaned and pushed the off button. She didn't want to get up. She didn't want to go to the trial, though she wanted him put away for a very long time. She got dressed and she and Spike dropped Charlotte off with Dawn before going to the courthouse. Joyce, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Oz and Spike all came to support Buffy. Buffy asked Dawn to watch Charley for her. Even though Dawn wanted to go too she agreed.  
"All stand for the honorable judge Matthew A. Rittman presiding" the bailiff said and everyone stood.  
"Be seated" the judge said and everyone sat. "This is case number 12663, Bryson vs. Banks. . ."  
  
*Later*  
  
"I call Elizabeth Bryson to the stand" Buffy's lawyer said and Buffy went up to the sand and sat and rose her right hand.  
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?" the bailiff asked.  
"I do" Buffy said.  
"Okay, Mrs. Bryson, on the morning of October 15, 2000 what were you doing?" Buffy's lawyer asked.  
"Well I was sleeping, M-Miller called me at a-about nine o'clock, maybe nine thirty and asked me to pick him up" Buffy said.  
"From where?" the lawyer asked.  
"L.A." Buffy said.  
"And you went?" he asked.  
"Yes, Miller was a friend and he needed help" Buffy said.  
"Okay, you got off the phone with the defendant and you got ready and you drove to pick him up, what happened next?' he asked.  
"Um, well h-he said that he needed to go to his hotel to get his stuff so I took him there, and he invited me inside" Buffy said.  
"Where he then raped you?" he asked.  
"Y-yes" Buffy said.  
"No further questions your honor" he said.  
"Okay Mrs. Bryson, now you went to his hotel to get his stuff, why did you go inside when he invited you?" Miller's lawyer asked.  
"Because he invited me, and I didn't want to wait outside for him" Buffy said.  
"Why not?" she asked.  
"Because it was kind of cold that day and I didn't want to leave the car running, gas" Buffy said.  
"All right, so you didn't go in wanting anything but warmth?" she asked.  
"Objection your honor" Buffy's lawyer said.  
"Overruled, answered the question Mrs. Bryson" the judge said.  
"No, I didn't" Buffy said.  
"But didn't you and Mr. Banks have an occasion in his apartment once before?" she asked.  
"Well, no not really 'he' kissed me and I stopped it, there was nothing there" Buffy said.  
"Uh-huh, Mrs. Bryson, didn't your husband kiss another woman once before?" she asked.  
"Objection your honor that is irrelevant" Buffy's lawyer said.  
"Your honor I have a point please allow me to make it" Miller's lawyer said.  
"Overruled, go on" the judge said.  
"Y-yes, but he said that she kissed him" Buffy said.  
"Which woman?" Miller's lawyer asked and faint whispering could be heard in the back.  
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.  
"Well there were two women weren't there, a miss Latonia Frankford and a miss Harmony Kendall?" she asked.  
"Uh, y-yes there were, but they both came on to him, not the other way around" Buffy said.  
"I see, but could it be possible that you were jealous and when Mr. Banks invited you into his hotel room you saw it as revenge?" she asked.  
"No, no. . ." she said.  
"No further questions your honor" Miller's lawyer said.  
The trial went on for five more hours and the jury was gone for not even twenty minutes before they made their decision.  
"Here you are your honor" the bailiff said and handed the paper to the judge. He looked at it and then gave it back to the bailiff to read. "In the case of Bryson vs. Banks, we the jury find Miller banks guilty for rape." Buffy sighed with relief and closed her eyes and smiled as her lawyer hugged her.  
"So say you one, so say you all" the judge said and all of the jury nodded yes. "Okay, I here by sentence you to ten years in prison with no chance of release until your ten years has passed, case closed" he said and banged his gavel and left. Buffy stood up, not looking at Miller and hugged Spike and then her mom and then all of her friends and she shook her lawyer's hand. The police took Miller away. Buffy was so relieved that he would be put away for a long time. She smiled as she and her family left the courthouse. 


	36. Anxiety

OKAY, SO MILLER'S PUT AWAY, YAY! BUT SPIKE AND BUFFY STILL HAVE TO DO THE TEST TO FIND OUT WHOSE BABY IT IS. WHOSE WILL IT BE? MILLER'S OR SPIKE'S? WELL READ TO FIND OUT!!!!!!!  
  
Spike and Buffy made an appointment to do a DNA test to find out whose baby Buffy was carrying. The OBGYN's schedule was full so they had to wait a whole moth to find out. Finally the day came and they got up early to drop Charlotte of at Joyce's before going to the doctor. They drove to the clinic and waited twenty minutes before doctor Helen called them into her office.  
"Okay, how are you too today?" dr. Helen asked.  
"Nervous" Buffy said.  
"Yeah, that would be the correct word" Spike said.  
"Well we'll have to take some blood from both of you and Buffy and then match the DNA. Now the procedure takes about two hours okay so both of you relax" dr. Helen said and left the room.  
"Honey?" Buffy said.  
"Yeah?" he answered looking at her.  
"What. . .what if the baby. . ." she said, not being able to finish the sentence.  
"What if it's not mine? Buffy I'm sorry but if it's not mine I can't raise it, not if it belongs to him" Spike said. Buffy's eyes filled up with tears.  
"Spike I need you, please" Buffy begged.  
"Look I love you okay, you and Charlotte mean everything to me, nothing in this world is more important than you two, but I just, I don't think that I'll be able to love a child, if it's not mine" Spike said.  
"So what? You're going to leave me if it isn't?" Buffy asked.  
"Look, we'll cross that bloody bridge when he come to it all right" he said looking away. She closed her eyes and silently prayed to god that the baby was Spike's. Fifteen minutes later the doctor came into the room with two nurses.  
"All right guys this is nurse Kelley and nurse Glover, they'll be taking the blood okay" dr. Helen said. Nurse Kelley went over to Buffy and nurse Glover went over to Spike and they took the blood and left.  
"So that's it, we're done?" Spike asked.  
"Almost, you can stay here and wait for the test to come in or we can call you, either way, it's your choice" dr. Helen said.  
"Well we're gonna go, I think the time will move quicker if we have something to do" Spike said and took Buffy's hand.  
"You have my cell number right?" Buffy asked the doctor.  
"Yes, I will call you as soon as the labs come in" dr. Helen said and Buffy and Spike left.  
  
**********************  
  
Latonia pulled into the prison lot. She was going to see Miller today. She entered the building and the police did the usual check and she was allowed in.  
"Banks you have a visitor, you got five minutes" the guard said and let her in.  
"Toni, what are you doing here?" Miller asked.  
"I came to see you, how could you be so stupid, why did you rape her?" Latonia asked.  
"Hey I'm not saying it was worth it, but it was good" he said with a harsh smile. Latonia shook her head at him.  
"That is going to far Mill. . .you know I heard, from my sources that she's pregnant, and she doesn't know, if the baby's her husband's" Latonia said.  
"What? Are you saying it might be mine?" he asked.  
"Well unless she slept with someone else, yeah" Latonia said.  
"Oh my god. . .this is better than I though, if it is mine, I'll have a piece of her, do you think I could get custody?" Miller asked.  
"You really are freaking crazy aren't you? There's no way a judge is going to give you custody after what you did, you screwed yourself forever man" she said. "Besides, when you get out the kid will be ten already, going on eleven, in that scenario too, you will never see that kid, and it's probably not even yours." Suddenly the guard knocked on the door.  
"Times up" he said.  
"All right, look I'll come again as soon as I can to tell you, see ya" she said and left.  
  
**********************  
  
Buffy and Spike drove around and had lunch and did whatever they could to pass the time more quickly. Finally after two and a half hours Buffy's cell rang her heart jumped as she answered it.  
"Hello?" she said.  
"Buffy, it's dr. Helen" the doctor said.  
"You have the lab?" Buffy asked.  
"Yes, we did the DNA match on the baby and your husband" she said.  
"And?" Buffy asked.  
"I'm sorry Buffy, your husband's DNA doesn't match your baby's, I'm sorry" the doctor said. Buffy's eyes widened and she could feel her heart sink as she hung up the phone. 


	37. Decisions

SO, ARE YOU SURPRISED? COME ON IT'S ME HERE, OF COURSE I WAS GONNA DO THAT. WELL IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS PLEASE E-MAIL ME AT ljohnson744@neo.rr.com AND TELL ME. I'D LOVE TO HEAR THEM.  
  
Spike sat on the beach staring at the waves. A single tear trickled down his cheek. He couldn't believe that the baby his wife was carrying wasn't his own. He didn't know what he was going to do. He loved Buffy more than anything. She and his daughter were the most important people in his life. He didn't want to leave them, but he couldn't raise a child that wasn't his. His head began to hurt as he thought of the life ahead. He closed his eyes trying not to cry, trying not to scream. After Buffy had told him, even before that. Just seeing the look on her face he knew. He got in his car and drove away. He had to talk to someone, he had to talk to Xander.  
Buffy had to talk to someone too. She called her friends and mother. She thought it strange that she talked to them more than Spike. She also thought it strange that she shared more with her mother now that she was on her own. As always they hurried over. Willow, now three and a half months pregnant was starting to show. Cordelia was almost three months and showing, but less than Willow.  
"Honey, did you get the test back?" Joyce asked when everyone arrived.  
"Yeah, the baby isn't Spike's" Buffy said quietly.  
"Oh Buffy" Willow said sympathetically.  
"I don't know what to do, Spike said that he couldn't raise a baby that wasn't his, but. . .I can't give my baby up, and as much as I don't want any part of Miller, it's a part of me too, I big part. . .I don't want him to leave me though. . .I, what am I going to do?" she asked in desperation.  
"Sweetie we can't tell you what to do" Joyce said.  
"Yeah you just have to follow your heart" Willow said.  
"And what if my heart refuses to talk" Buffy said.  
"It will, I'm sure it'll take time, deciding between your unborn child and your husband and it might be painful and there might be a lot of tears and grief and. . ." she stopped when she saw everyone looking at her. "I'm not helping am I?"  
"It's okay, you're right. . .I am. . .I'm so, scared" Buffy said and Willow wrapped her arms around her and Buffy laid her head on Willow's shoulder and Willow stroked her hair.  
"No matter what you decided sweetie, we'll be here for you" Willow said and kissed her on the head.  
"Yeah, you can always count on us" Cordelia said.  
"Always" Joyce said.  
"Thank you guys" Buffy said.  
  
**********************  
  
"So, the kid's not yours huh? Tough break man I'm sorry" Xander said. He Spike and Oz had gathered in his apartment.  
"What are you gonna do?" Oz asked.  
"I don't know, I guess it depends on Buffy" Spike said.  
"Okay, if she keeps the kid?" Xander asked.  
"I can't stay there" Spike said.  
"So you're gonna leave her?" Oz asked.  
"If the baby Willow was carrying wasn't yours, would you stay with her?" Spike asked.  
"Well if she cheated on me no, but come on man she was raped, you can't blame her for that" Oz said.  
"Look I'm not trying to be the bad guy here all right, I love her and Charlotte" Spike said.  
"We know you do? But the question is, do you love her enough to stay with her through this" Xander said.  
Spike arrived home later that night. Joyce, Cordelia and Willow had already left. Buffy was getting the baby ready for bed.  
"Hey" Spike said coming into Charlotte's room.  
"Hi" Buffy said.  
"I suppose you hate me" Spike said.  
"No, of course not" Buffy said and put Charley in her crib and kissed her goodnight. Spike came over and kissed her also.  
"Goodnight sweetheart" he said to her and he and Buffy left and turned out the light. They went into their bedroom and started getting ready for bed themselves.  
"Where did you go?" she asked.  
"Xander's" Spike said and climbed into bed. Buffy undressed and put on her nightgown and climbed into bed also. "Look I've had a lot of time to think and I've come to a conclusion."  
"And what's that?" she asked, afraid of his answer.  
"I love you, and our love can stand anything, so. . .whatever you decided, I'll be here" he said and she smiled slightly.  
"Really?" she asked moving closer.  
"Yeah, so have you made a decision?" he asked.  
"I. . .I want to keep the baby Spike" she said.  
"Okay, as much as I don't like it, I love you, and hey maybe I can grow to love the baby, maybe" he said and kissed her before turning over in bed and shutting off the light and turning back to face her. "What do you say we connect?" he said with a seductive smile. She smiled also and kissed him. 


	38. Water breakage

*Six months later*  
  
Buffy and Willow walked through the mall looking for a shop to get some good food. With both women being pregnant they were hungry a lot. Finally the came to a gourmet sandwich shop. They entered and got in line.  
"This is great, it smells so yummy in here" Willow smiled.  
"I know, I love sandwiches," Buffy said and they got up to the counter.  
"Can I help you?" the man said.  
"Um. . .what does the hardy London have on it?" Buffy asked.  
"Honey roasted turkey breast, dill or sweet pickles, lettuce, American or Swiss cheese and Gourmet Michael's special sauce" the man said. Buffy licked her lips.  
"Ooh that sounds good, I'll have that" she said.  
"Anything to drink with that?" he asked.  
"Um. . .a pink lemonade please" Buffy said.  
"All right, and for you ma'am?" he asked.  
"Uh. . .the French Twist, what's that exactly?" Willow asked.  
"Well it has a ½ pound ground beef on the bottom and chicken breast on the top with Swiss cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, sweet or dill pickles and Gourmet Michael's special French sauce" the man said.  
"I'll have that" Willow said.  
"Okay and your drink?" he asked.  
"A diet Dr. Pepper" she said.  
"Okay and did you want sweet or dill pickles?" he asked.  
"Um, dill please" she said.  
"And you ma'am, dill or sweet?" he asked Buffy.  
"Sweet please, oh and could you put Swiss cheese on that instead of American?"  
"Of course" he said. "All right that'll be nine dollars and fifty-two cents please" he said.  
"Oh, I got this Will" Buffy said and gave him the money.  
"Thanks" Willow said.  
"Your change is 48 cents" the man said. They got their food and went and sat at a table.  
"I wish that Cordy could of came" Buffy said.  
"Me too, but she said she was too tired" Willow told her.  
"Did she and Xander make any decisions yet?" Buffy asked.  
"Yeah, she told me yesterday on the phone that they were breaking up" Willow said.  
"What? Oh that's sucks" Buffy said.  
"Well I know, but she assured me that it was mutual, they're gonna be just friends, they're both gonna raise the baby together, but they're not going to do. . .couple stuff" Willow said.  
"I see" Buffy said. Willow bit into her sandwich and gasped. "Will what's wrong?"  
"Oh god. . ." she said and looked down. "My water just broke."  
  
OKAY I KNOW THAT THIS CHAPTER WAS SHORT, BUT I WANTED TO GET ONE IN THEIR TO GET THE STORY GOING AGAIN. WITH SCHOOL AND ALL I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO UPDATE, BUT HERE IT IS, PLEASE REVIEW THANKS!!!!!!!!!! 


	39. Double teaming

HEY! NEXT CHAPTER, THE BIRTH OF WILLOW'S BABY AND OTHER SURPRISES!  
  
Buffy rushed to the hospital trying not to wreck her car. After pulling into the lot she helped Willow out of the car and helped into the hospital.  
"Woman in labor here!" Buffy said to the receptionist behind the desk.  
"Name please?" the woman asked.  
"Willow Rosen- I mean Willow Osborne" Willow said. Willow and Oz had gotten married a month earlier. They didn't have a big wedding, just a small one with only their closest friends at city hall.  
"Okay, your doctor is dr. Helen?" she asked.  
"Yes" Willow said.  
"All right she'll be right here, just take a seat" the lady said and Willow sat in the wheel chair the orderly brought for her. "Take her to room 256A please." Buffy walked with the orderly as he wheeled Willow to her room. When they were settled Buffy called Spike.  
"Hello?" he said answering the phone.  
"Hi honey, uh Willow's in labor, I'm at the hospital, I just called to tell you" she said.  
"Oh, how is she?" Spike said.  
"She's okay, I have to call Oz so I have to go, I love you" she said.  
"Love you too pet, I'll be there in a little while" he said.  
"Okay" she said and her call waiting beeped. "Oh honey, that's the call waiting, bye."  
"Bye" he said and she switched over.  
"Hello?" she said.  
"Buff, it's Xander, look Cordy's in labor, we're on our way to the hospital now, can you and Will come?" he asked.  
"We're already here, Willow's in labor too" Buffy said.  
"Oh, okay, well, wow, we'll be there soon" he said.  
"Okay, bye" she said and hung up. After calling Oz she made sure Willow was comfortable. Within an hour everyone was there including Xander and Cordelia except they were trying to get a room. The receptionist put her in with Willow.  
"So" Cordelia said. "I wonder who's baby will be born first."  
"Mine" Willow smiled.  
"How do you know, mine might be born first" Cordelia said.  
"Wanna bet?" Willow said.  
"Okay" Cordelia agreed. "Bet what?"  
"Um. . .whoever loses has to. . .buy the other a present" Willow said.  
"What kind of present?" Cordelia asked.  
"Um. . .I don't know, Buffy you come up with the terms" Willow said.  
"Oh no, I'm not in this, this is you two" Buffy smiled.  
"Oh come on, do us the favor please, we'll be your best friends" Cordelia said.  
"You already are" Buffy said.  
"Well we'll love you even more" Willow said.  
"Fine okay, I will come up with the terms" Buffy said.  
"Yea!" Willow smiled.  
"All right, whoever loses. . ." Buffy thought and then smiled. "Whoever loses has to name the baby after me." Everyone looked at her weirdly and she looked around innocent. "What?"  
"Uh sweetheart, that's kinda dissing yourself isn't it, making the loser name the baby after you" Spike smirked.  
"Yeah and what if the baby's a boy?" Cordelia asked.  
"Fine, fine, I'll come up with something" Buffy said.  
"Oh I got it" Xander announced and Buffy glared at him.  
"Hey this is my job" she pouted childishly.  
"Fine I'll tell you and then you can say it" Xander said.  
"Okay" she agreed and he whispered in her ear and she giggled. "Aw, that's cute, and it could be inconvenient."  
"What?" Cordelia and Willow asked at the same time.  
"Whoever loses has to be the soccer mom chauffer, carpool person for all of our kids, when they get older of course" Buffy said.  
"Fine, agreed" Willow said.  
"Ditto" Cordelia said.  
  
*Later*  
  
Fifteen hours later both Cordelia and Willow were in separate delivery room giving birth to their children. Both aware of the bet they were trying to rush. With only one doctor dr. Helen was very overwhelmed. She was running from room to room checking on both girls.  
"God, this is like father of the bride part two huh?" Buffy joked. Spike smiled.  
"I think that they're gonna be good mom's" Spike said and Buffy's eyes widened. "What?"  
"I forgot to call mom! She wanted to be here, uh I have to call her, here take Charley" Buffy said as she carefully handed the sleeping toddler to Spike and took out her cell phone and dialed her mother's number.  
"Hello?" Joyce answered.  
"Hey mom, uh Willow and Cordelia are at the hospital, they're in labor right now if you want to come to the hospital" Buffy said.  
"Oh of course, how long have you guys been there?" she asked.  
"Uh. . .fifteen hours, I'm sorry I totally forgot to call you" Buffy said.  
"It's all right, I'll be there soon, have you called Willow and Cordelia's parents?" Joyce asked.  
"Um yeah, they're both out of town and can't get back, Willow's parents are in Detroit visiting family and Cordelia's are in Aspen skiing" Buffy said.  
"Oh, well I'm going now so I'll see you soon" Joyce said.  
"All right, bye" Buffy said and hung up. Joyce arrived within a half an hour and neither Willow nor Cordy had given birth yet.  
"How are they?" Joyce asked.  
"Fine, they're fine" Buffy said.  
"Hi Buffy" Dawn said happily.  
"Hey Dawnie" Buffy said and hugged her. Suddenly Xander and Oz come out into the waiting room.  
"Hey" Xander said.  
"Hi, so. . ." Buffy said.  
"They're both born" Oz said.  
"Who's was born first?" Spike asked.  
"Mine" Oz said with a smile.  
"Boys, girls, both?" Buffy asked.  
"Well, I am proud to say that Cordy and I have a beautiful little girl" Xander smiled.  
"Aw, and Oz?" Buffy asked.  
"We have a girl too" Oz smiled.  
"Aw, they'll be like the three musketeers, or better Charlie's Angels, no pun intended" Buffy smiled.  
"Can we see them?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah sure" Xander said and directed them into Willow and Cordelia's room. They were holding their babies in their hands.  
"So Cordy you lost" Buffy smiled.  
"Oh who cares, look at her" Cordelia said smiling at the baby.  
"They're both beautiful" Buffy said.  
"Do they have names?" Spike asked.  
"Uh yeah, we have a name for our baby" Cordelia said.  
"Us too" Willow said.  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
"Well this is Taylor Elizabeth" Willow said.  
"Elizabeth, really?" Buffy smiled.  
"Well it's not because of you- not that I don't love you, but my grandmother was named Elizabeth, and Oz's aunt is named Taylor" Willow said.  
"Oh, well I'm still honored, it's a cute name you guys, what about you two?" Buffy asked Xander and Cordelia.  
"This is little Gracie Chantal Harris" Cordelia said proudly.  
"Aw, that's a pretty name too, I like them both" Buffy said.  
"Yeah, they're pretty girls" Spike said.  
"Can I hold one of them?" Buffy asked.  
"Ooh, me too" Dawn said.  
"All right, who wants who?" Xander said.  
"Well why don't you hold them and then switch" Oz said.  
"Okay, I'll take Gracie" Dawn said.  
"And I'll take Taylor" Buffy said. Xander and Oz handed them they babies.  
"Welcome little ones" Joyce smiled and Dawn and Buffy rocked them back and forth. 


	40. Parenting and shopping

OKAY, SOME OF THESE CHAPTERS AREN'T FOCUSED ON BUFFY AND SPIKE, BUT I THOUGHT THAT IF EVERY CHAPTER WAS THEN IT WOULD BE TO SMOTHERED SO I WANTED TO SHOW HOW EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS AND YOUR OWN LIFE THAT OTHER PEOPLE LIVE ON TOO. THIS CHAPTER IS PRETTY MUCH LIKE THAT TOO. IT'S JUST CORDELIA AND WILLOW TRYING TO GET USED TO BEING PARENTS AND DOING GIRL STUFF, BUT IT DOES HAVE SOME SPUFFYNESS, ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Willow woke to the sound of Taylor crying. She looked over at Oz who was still sound asleep. 'God he could sleep through anything' she thought and got out of bed. She went to the bassinet that was in the corner of their room and picked up the crying infant and carried her downstairs where she could heat a bottle. She set the baby in the baby seat on the table and went over to the fridge and got out a bottle and stuck it in the microwave for twenty-five seconds. After doing that she picked Taylor up again and went and sat in the living room and fed her. After she was done eating Willow changed her. She looked at the clock and it read 4:56. 'Uh, I have to get up in two hours' she though and carried the now sleeping baby back upstairs and put her back in the bassinet and went back to bed herself.  
  
Cordelia was in the same situation, except it wasn't until she was getting ready for class that Gracie started to cry. She was already running late. She got a bottle ready and all of her things so she could take her over to Joyce's house. It was her day off so she was watching Charlotte, Gracie and Taylor. When Cordy arrived at Joyce's house Spike was there with Charlotte and Oz was there with Taylor.  
"Hi Cordy" Joyce said.  
"Hi, thank you so much for watching Gracie for me" Cordelia said.  
"Oh no problem honey, it's my pleasure" Joyce said.  
"Hey Spike, where's Buffy?" Cordelia asked.  
"At school, I don't have any classes and I don't have work for another hour so I said I would bring Charley" Spike said and kissed Charlotte. "Okay, I have to go, thanks Joyce."  
"No problem" she said with a smile and he kissed her on the cheek.  
"Cordy" he said and gave her a kiss on the forehead.  
"Bye Spike" Cordelia said and he left.  
"I should go too, thanks Joyce for doing this, uh how much should we pay you?" Oz asked.  
"Nothing, I won't take any money from any of you, not from Buffy and Spike because Charlotte is my granddaughter, and not from you two because, one, you're Buffy and Spike's best friends and two, I love you all, so go, do whatever it is you have to do" Joyce said.  
"Thanks" Oz said and kissed Taylor and then kissed Joyce on the cheek. "Bye Cordy."  
"See ya," she said and he left. "Okay all Gracie's things are here and her schedule, thanks again."  
'You're welcome" Joyce said and Cordelia hugged her and then kissed Gracie and left.  
  
Buffy sat in class not paying attention. It had been six months since what happened with Miler and the trial. But she still felt weird being in the class. She couldn't drop it because she needed it to get a degree. She sat there and looked over at what used to be Miller's seat and thought about the child growing inside her. She was carrying his child. She didn't know how she could love this child so much if it wasn't her husband's, but she did.  
". . .Okay, who knows the answer, um. . .Buffy?" the professor asked. Buffy looked up suddenly realizing she was not paying any attention to what was going on.  
"Uh. . ." she said searing for an answer and then the bell rang and she sighed heavily.  
"Next week we will go over what will be on the final" he said and everyone left.  
Buffy arrived at Joyce's house at 2:30. She was eager to see her child.  
"Hi Buffy" Dawn said.  
"Hey Dawnie, what are you doing home so early?" Buffy asked.  
"Early dismissal today" Dawn said.  
"Right, so where's mom?" Buffy asked.  
"She ran out to the store" Dawn said.  
"So you're here all by yourself watching the babies?" Buffy asked nervously.  
"Yeah why, I'm totally responsible" Dawn said.  
"Okay. . .where are they?" Buffy said.  
"I don't know somewhere around here" Dawn said and Buffy's eyes went wide and Dawn burst out laughing. "I'm kidding, jeez give me a little credit will ya, they're upstairs sleeping."  
"Oh, right, well I'm gonna go get my baby" Buffy said and went upstairs and Dawn followed.  
"They're in your old room" Dawn said. Buffy went in and realized that all the things she left weren't in there anymore. They had been for the longest time.  
"What happened to my things?" Buffy asked.  
"Oh, me and mom put them in the attic, so we could use this room for something else you know" Dawn said.  
"Right" Buffy sand and picked Charley up out of the playpen. "Hi baby."  
"Mama" Charlotte said sleepily.  
"Yeah honey, it's mama" Buffy said and kissed her.  
"Buffy, what are you going to do, you know when the baby comes, I mean is Spike still okay with it?" Dawn asked.  
"Yeah, I think so, I mean he said that he didn't like the fact of me carrying Miller's baby, and to tell you the truth neither do I, but I love this child and I just hope that Spike could too" Buffy said.  
"Well think about it Buff, i-if Spike had a baby with another woman and she. . .I don't know died or went to jail or something, could you love that baby?" Dawn asked.  
"When you'd get so coherent?" Buffy asked.  
"A lot can happen in almost two years" Dawn smiled. "Look Buffy I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but do you really think that Spike is gonna treat this baby like is own?"  
"I. . .I don't know, I can't worry about that right now, I have other things" Buffy said.  
"Yeah but Buffy, that is the most important, I mean, this is a life we're talking about here, a little tiny like, look I love Spike, he's a great man and he's cute and probably a really great kisser-"  
"Hey!" Buffy said.  
"But he's a guy, guys are territorial, they get jealous a lot, I mean maybe he could move past is pride and be a good father to this child, but there is always going to be this part of him that knows it's Miller's child and not his, and the kid? Are you going to tell it who it's real father is?" Dawn asked.  
"Spike is" Buffy said defensively.  
"Yeah, maybe on paper, come on sweetie do you actually believe that-" she began.  
"No, stop I don't want to here this, everyone looks at me weirdly and I know what they're thinking, how could I keep this baby when it was conceived by another man, but it's my baby too, and I know, it's going to be difficult but I think we can get through it, I know we can" Buffy said.  
"Buffy I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you" Dawn said.  
"It's okay, look I have to go, I'm making dinner tonight and I have to go to the store, tell mom I said thanks" Buffy said and left.  
  
Cordelia picked up Gracie a little after Buffy left and Willow was after. Cordelia arrived at Xander's apartment at 5:00. It was his night with the baby. Tomorrow Buffy, Cordy and Willow were going to the mall and the spa for a makeover and a girl's day out. the fathers were going to watch the children.  
"Hey Cordy" Xander said taking the baby's seat.  
"Hey" Cordelia said sitting down.  
"What's the what?" he asked taking Gracie out of seat and sitting on the couch opposite for Cordelia.  
"I'm just tired that's all" Cordelia yawned.  
"Well you have some time to rest, I have Gracie for tonight, do you want me to keep her tomorrow night too" he asked.  
"Well I don't want to keep her from you, but I'll miss her" Cordelia said. "And I'll feel guilty, like I don't want to spend time with my baby" Cordelia said.  
"That doesn't mean you don't want to spend time with her, look we have to make out a schedule, the times you get her and the times I do" Xander said.  
"Yeah you're right, all right lets do that" Cordelia said and took out a piece of paper.  
  
Willow pulled into her and Oz's drive way and got out and walked into the apartment. Oz was making dinner in the kitchen.  
"Hey" Willow said, putting down Taylor's seat and taking her out.  
"Hey baby" Oz said and kissed Willow and then Taylor. "How are my two favorite girls?"  
"We're both fine" Willow said. "Something smells good, what are you making?"  
"Spaghetti with Italian meatballs" Oz said.  
"Wow, yummy" Willow said.  
"So, how was your day, are you exited about tomorrow?" Oz asked.  
"My day was fine and yes, I am, what about you, what are you going to do tomorrow?" Willow asked.  
I don't know, maybe the guys will get together and do something with the kids, though they're all not old enough to day anything so. . .I don't know" Oz said.  
  
Buffy stood there cutting carrots for her beef stew. Spike was taking a shower and Charlotte was asleep up in her room. Buffy hummed to herself as she put the carrots in the pot. Suddenly she felt two arms wrap around her and smiled.  
"Hey" he said in a seductive tone.  
"Hi" she smiled as he began to kiss her neck. "Mmm."  
"So, what are you and the girls going to do tomorrow?" he asked, turning her around to face him.  
"I don't know, we're going to go the mall and get a makeover" Buffy said.  
"Well you need it" he joked.  
"Hey!" she said and swatted him on his bare arm. "I think you'd better get dressed."  
"Why?" he asked smiled slyly.  
"Because I don't think that a towel is considered clothing honey" she smiled back.  
"Well I was hoping I wouldn't need it" he whispered and started kissing her on her neck again. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. She couldn't resist him, no matter how hard she tried.  
"Spike" she whispered.  
"Yeah luv?" he whispered seductively.  
"I want you" she whispered, her eyes still closed. He picked her up and began to carry her upstairs. "Wait, the stove." He brought her over and she turned it off and then he carried her upstairs and laid her on the bed and laid beside her and kissed her passionately. She removed the towel around his waist and he began to remove her pants.  
  
The alarm clock went off at eight o'clock and Buffy turned it off. She looked over at Spike who was asleep and smiled. She got up and went into the bathroom and took a shower and then got dressed.  
"Spike, honey wake up" Buffy whispered.  
"What?" he asked, his eyes still closed.  
"I have to go, I wanted to say bye" she said and kissed him.  
"Bye" he said, still not opening his eyes.  
"I love you" she said.  
"I love you too pet" he said and turned over away from her. She smiled and shook her head at him and then left. She met Willow and Cordelia at the mall.  
"Hey!" Willow said happily.  
"Hey Wills, hey Cordy" Buffy said and hugged them both.  
"Okay, so we have the whole day, what do you want to do first?" Cordelia asked.  
"Um. . .mall food" Willow smiled and they looked at her. "What?"  
"Will we just got here" Buffy said.  
"So, I'm hungry, I haven't eaten" Willow pouted.  
"Fine, but if we're going to eat we're going back to Gourmet Michael's because that place was great" Buffy said.  
"Oh yeah it was, what was it that I had?" Willow asked. "Oh yeah, the French twist, that was yummy."  
"Maybe we should like switch, I get the French twist and you get the Hardy London" Buffy said.  
"Okay" Willow said.  
"Wait, you guys, what are you talking about?" Cordelia said lost.  
"Oh, sorry, we forgot you weren't there" Willow said. "Gourmet Michael's is this little sandwich shop in the far end of the mall and it's great."  
"Yeah they have the best food there, even they're drinks are great, they're a little more expensive, but who care" Buffy said.  
"Okay, let's go, I want bologna though" Cordelia said.  
"Bologna, why?" Willow asked.  
"Because I want it okay, now come on" Cordelia said. They got to the shop and waited in line until it was their turn.  
"How can I help you" the girl said.  
"Hi I'd like the Hardy London" Willow said with a smile.  
"All right, Swiss or American cheese?" she asked.  
"Um, Swiss" Willow said.  
"Dill or sweet pickles?" the girl asked.  
"Dill please" Willow said.  
"And to drink?" the girl asked.  
"Diet- no uh. . .iced tea please" Willow said.  
"All right, next" the girl said.  
"Hi, I'd like the French Twist please, with sweet pickles, not dill" Buffy said.  
"Okay, and to drink?" the girl asked.  
"Um. . .iced tea too please, that's sweetened right?" Buffy asked.  
"Yes, we have lemon, peach and apple raspberry" the girl said.  
"Lemon" Buffy said. "Will what kind do you want?"  
"Um, apple raspberry sounds good" Willow said and the girl typed that down too.  
"And for you ma'am?" the girl asked.  
"Do you have bologna?" Cordelia asked and Willow and Buffy giggled. They ordered these fancy sandwiches with fancy names and their friend was ordering bologna.  
"Yes, we do, we don't call it that, but it's the Gourmet Lincoln, it has bologna, American cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, dill or sweet pickles and Gourmet Michael's special sauce" the girl said.  
"Okay, I'll have that" Cordelia said.  
"Dill or sweet pickles ma'am?" the girl asked.  
"Dill please" Cordelia said.  
"And to drink?" the girl asked.  
"Uh, diet 7 up please" Cordelia said.  
"Okay" the girl said. They got their food and found a table.  
"Can you believe the last time we were here was before we were like really parents, and now. . .I'm just so. . ." Willow tried to say.  
"Happy?" Buffy asked taking a bit of her sandwich.  
"Yeah, exactly" Willow said.  
They spent almost seven more hours at the mall before all going home. They had gotten makeovers and new clothes and they felt great. They all did something different to themselves. Cordelia cut her once long brown hair to her shoulder and got lots of layers in it and put chunky blond highlights in it. She left her bangs long, about chin length. She bought a really cute outfit. It was a pair of hip hugger, flair jeans that were dark blue and had the faded look to them. With it she bought a pink halter-top and a gray sweat jacket that had the words 'Queen Me' on it in pink letters. She bought a pair of pink high-healed sandals that were really cute to go with it. Buffy didn't cut her hair. She liked her long blonde hair and left it the way it was. She did get a pedicure and a new outfit also. A pair of hip hugger flair khaki pants and a black spaghetti strapped tank top to go with them. She bought a pink jean jacket to go with it also. For shoes she bought a pair of Jimmy Choo's. they were black leather boots that were really cute. Willow didn't cut her hair either, but she put some lighter red highlight that made her whole hair shine. She bought a pair of corduroy overalls that were dark blue and really cute. To go with them she bought a sweater that was pink, blue, red and some different colors all woven together which was also cute and really soft. She bought a simple pair of red sketcher to go with it. They brought out the red in the sweater. Buffy and Cordelia smiled at their friend. She was always the one who dressed the most casual and simple. She always looked cut, but simple. They all went their different ways after leaving the mall. Buffy went home to find Spike reading to Charlotte on the couch. He didn't see her and she stayed quiet to watch him.  
"And the little bird finally found his mother, yeah, wasn't that a great book, yeah you're daddy's little munchkin aren't you, my little freckle monster with those tiny little specks of freckles on your cute little nose, you look just like your mommy, she's a good woman, and when this baby comes. . .daddy's got to tell you I'm not to happy about it, but we have to make the best out of it okay, for mommy, she's been through a lot, and it is your brother or sister so, you must be nice, and daddy will do his best to be nice too, even though it belongs to that ponce, that bugger, that. . .that Nancy boy I. . .sorry pet, daddy just gets a little angry talking about him, but I love your mommy very much and we're going to do our best to help her aren't we, right?" Spike said to Charlotte.  
"Wite" Charlotte said.  
"Hey" Buffy said, now making herself known.  
"Buffy, hey, you have fun?" Spike asked, setting Charlotte down on the floor.  
"Yeah, fun" Buffy said. "But I'm beat so, I'll take Charley upstairs."  
"No, it's okay you go up to bed I'll do it" Spike said.  
"Okay" Buffy said and kissed Charlotte and headed upstairs.  
"Hey" Spike called after her and she turned around. "What about a kiss for your loving husband." She smiled and went back and kissed him lightly and playfully on the lips and went back upstairs. She took of her clothes and put on her nightgown and got into bed. She was sacred that what her and Dawn had talked about earlier was true. Would Spike be able to deal with this child. Drained, she decided not to fight her eyes shutting and drifted off to sleep. 


	41. The other man's child

ALL RIGHT THIS IS THE BIRTH OF BUFFY'S BABY! WILL IT BE A HAPPY TIME OR A SAD ONE? WELL READ TO FIND OUT.  
  
Buffy suddenly sat up in bed. She gasped. Her water had broken and she was going into labor.  
"Oh god" she said and closed her eyes in pain. "Spike."  
"Hmm?" he asked, still half asleep.  
"Honey, wake up, the. . .the baby's coming" Buffy said getting up.  
"What? Now?" he said also getting up.  
"Yeah, we have to go the hospital" she said.  
"All right, I'll get Charlotte" Spike said and went into the baby's room. Buffy got her things together and Spike got Charlotte's and they left for the hospital.  
Spike called Joyce, Willow and Oz, Xander and Cordelia. They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later and Buffy got checked into a room.  
"Hello Buffy, how are you feeling?" Dr. Helen asked when Buffy was all settled.  
"Okay, in some pain but. . .all right" Buffy said.  
"All right, do you want us to give you something for the pain?" Dr. Helen asked.  
"Yes please" Buffy said.  
"All right, I'll have the anesthesiologist come in and give you an epidural" Dr. Helen said and left.  
"Are you gonna be okay baby?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah. . .Spike. . ." Buffy said.  
"What is it lamb?" he asked.  
"Are you gonna hate me if. . .I keep this baby?" Buffy asked.  
"No, I could never hate you baby, I love you and I always will, and I know that we can get through this, we can get through anything, just as long as you don't name the baby Miller or take it to see him" Spike said.  
"Agreed" Buffy said and he kissed her. Just then the anesthesiologist came into the room.  
"Hello Mrs. Bryson I'm Dr. Hanson, I'm the anesthesiologist" he said.  
"Hi" Buffy said.  
"Okay, sit up" the doctor said and she did just that. He stuck the needle in her back and gave her the injection. "There you go, that should work in a few minutes."  
"Thank you" Buffy sighed and relaxed. A few minutes later her mother and Dawn walked into the room.  
"Hi honey, how are you?" Joyce asked.  
"Fine, now that the anesthesia kicked in" Buffy said.  
"Here Buffy, this is for you" Dawn said and handed her a teddy bear with a baseball uniform on it.  
"Sweetie this is really cute, but what if the baby isn't a boy?" Buffy said.  
"That's what I told her, but she insisted that she buy it" Joyce smiled.  
"I know that the baby's going to be a boy, I just know it" Dawn said with a smile.  
"Well I hope so, I'd like Charley to have a brother" Buffy said and looked at Spike who didn't look so happy. She frowned to herself and felt really guilty.  
"Buffy, hi how are you" Willow said as she, Oz, Xander and Cordelia walked into the room.  
"Hey guys, I'm fine" Buffy smiled.  
"Uh. . .I think that I should take Charlotte and go. . .somewhere, she shouldn't be in here, I'll be. . .somewhere" Spike said and picked up Charlotte.  
"Spike" Buffy said.  
"It's okay, uh Xander, Oz, you want to come with me, bring the kids, look sweetheart call me when you're. . .you know" Spike said and left followed by Oz and Xander.  
"I think he's mad at me" Buffy said quietly.  
"Why?" Willow asked.  
"He says he's okay with this, but I can't help but think. . .that he, he's gonna resent me for this. I love him so much and I don't want our marriage to be ruined, but I can't give up my baby" Buffy said.  
"Honey don't worry about that right now okay, you just worry about you okay" Willow said and got in bed with Buffy and laid her head on Buffy's shoulder. Buffy smiled and laid her head against Willow's.  
"Thanks Will" she said and Willow kissed Buffy on her forehead.  
"You're welcome" Willow said and Buffy laid her head on Willow shoulder.  
  
*Later*  
  
"Okay Buffy push now okay, come on" Dr. Helen said to Buffy. She had been in the hospital for thirteen hours before she went into labor. "Come on one more push." Buffy pushed as hard as she could and the baby came out slowly. "It's a handsome little baby boy." Buffy smiled and looked over at Spike who was standing beside her and he was smiling partially. "Here you are." Doctor Helen handed the little boy to Buffy and she looked at him. He didn't look like Miller at all. He looked like her actually. And strangely enough, a little like Spike. Mostly he looked like Charlotte.  
"So honey do you have a name for him yet?" Joyce asked.  
"No, not yet" Buffy said. She hadn't really thought of any names.  
"Well it's okay, we'll call him baby boy Bryson" Dr. Helen said and Buffy saw Spike close his eyes slightly and sigh deeply.  
"Okay" Buffy said. The doctor weighed him and he weighed 8 lbs and 5 oz. Dr. Helen left so that Buffy could spend some time with the baby.  
"He's beautiful honey" Joyce said.  
"Yeah" Buffy said. She felt a lump come up in her throat. She didn't want Spike to resent her, but she loved this little boy and she didn't want to give him up, now not, not ever.  
"What do you think you're going to name him?" Dawn asked.  
"I'm not sure" Buffy said.  
"Did I call it or what? Huh? I said it would be a boy" Dawn smiled.  
"Yeah, you did" Buffy said, seemingly unhappy.  
"What's the matter sweetie?" Cordelia asked.  
"Nothing" Buffy said, trying to hold back tears.  
"Baby something's wrong, what is it?" Spike asked, brushing the hair from her face.  
"Uh. . .guys, can I talk to Spike alone?" Buffy asked.  
"Sure honey, we'll be right outside" Joyce said and her, Dawn, Cordelia and Willow left.  
"What's the matter baby?" Spike asked.  
"I just want to make sure you don't mind about this, I don't wanna lose you, I love you, you have to know that" Buffy said.  
"I know sweetie, I love you too, and I'm okay with this, he's really. . .cute" Spike said with a small smile.  
"Yeah, he is, he looks like his sister" Buffy said looking at the little boy. "Robbie."  
"What?" Spike said.  
"I want to name him Robbie, Robert William Bryson" Buffy said.  
"That's a nice name pet, I like it" Spike said and kissed Buffy on the head.  
  
*Even later*  
  
Buffy was asleep. She has very worn out after giving birth to her second child. She was just waking up when she saw everyone in her room talking quietly. Spike was holding Robbie, which made her smile. He had him down so Charlotte could see.  
"See pet, this is your baby brother Robert William, Robbie, we're going to take care of him aren't we, yeah" Spike said and gave his daughter a kiss on the head.  
"Mmm" Buffy said, waking up completely.  
"Hey" Willow said.  
"Hi" Buffy said and sat up.  
"How are you feeling pet?" Spike asked.  
"Okay, tired, but okay, great" Buffy said.  
"Good" Spike said and handed Robbie to Buffy. Buffy look at Spike, then Charlotte, then at Robbie. 'My family -mine-' Buffy thought and smiled. She had her husband, she had her daughter and now she had her son. Things seemed perfect, but hey, life isn't perfect. . . 


	42. A sacred place

Spike was sitting on the edge of the bed on Buffy's side. He was waiting for her to wake up. Today was their anniversary and he had been waiting since six and it was now nine-thirty. Finally he became impatient and leaned over and kissed her on her lips.  
"Mmm" she said sleepily and slowly opened her eyes. "Hi" she smiled.  
"Hey baby" he said also smiling. "Happy anniversary."  
"Happy anniversary to you too" she said.  
"You know you're a late sleeper," Spike said as she sat up and looked at the clock.  
"Sweetie it's only nine-thirty," she said.  
"Well I've been waiting since six," he said.  
"Oh, well what do you want to do today?" she asked.  
"I have some things in mind" he smiled.  
"Really? Well I can get my mom to watch Charlotte and Robbie, and we can do. . .whatever it is you have planned" Buffy said and got out of bed and picked up the phone. It had been almost a year since Robbie's birth. Charlotte was almost two.  
"Do you think she'll watch them?" Spike asked.  
"Of course, I mean why would she have plans?" Buffy said and dialed her mom's number.  
"Hello?" Joyce answered.  
"Hi mom, can you watch Robbie and Charley for me today, Spike and I want to-" she began and then stopped when she felt Spike kissing her shoulder. "Uh, g-go out for ou-our anniversary." Spike now moved to her neck. She closed her eyes and moaned slightly in relaxation.  
"Oh I'm sorry honey I can't I have to work" Joyce said.  
"What? Oh" Buffy said, disappointed. "What about Dawn?"  
"She's spending the weekend with her friend" Joyce said.  
"Oh, okay, well thanks anyway, love you" Buffy said.  
"Love you to honey, bye" Joyce said and they hung up.  
"Frittle-fudge cakes" Buffy pouted.  
"She couldn't do it?" Spike asked, brushing the hair away from her face.  
"No" Buffy whined. "Maybe Willow could do it, or Xander, o-or Cordy."  
"Call" Spike said and Buffy tried Xander first.  
"Hello?" Xander answered.  
"Hey Xand, you doing anything today?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh, yeah actually, I have to work" Xander said.  
"Crap" Buffy said.  
'Why?" Xander asked.  
"I need someone to watch Robbie and Charlotte today" Buffy said.  
"Oh, the anniversary, I'm sorry, try Cordy, she has Gracie today, maybe she could watch them  
"Kay, I will, bye" Buffy said and made a friendly kissing sound into the phone and hung it up and tried Cordy's.  
"Hello" Cordy answered.  
"Hey sweetie, listen, can you watch the kids for me today?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh, sure" Cordy said and Buffy's eyes lit up.  
"Really, that's great" Buffy said happily. "First I tried my mom, and then Xander, thank you so much, I love you."  
"Love you too, you can bring them over anytime" Cordy said.  
"All right, I'll bring them in about an hour okay" Buffy said.  
"Okay, bye" Cordelia said and they hung up.  
Buffy and Spike dropped Charlotte and Robbie off at Cordelia's and then Spike drove for a while. After about ten minutes he stopped and put a blindfold on her.  
"What are you doing?" she asked.  
"Do you trust me?" he asked her.  
"Of course I do" she said.  
"Then trust me" he said and began driving again. He drove for another ten minutes and then stopped. He got out of the car and then helped her out.  
"Okay, baby what are we doing?" Buffy asked.  
"Just come on luv, you'll see" he said and helped her into somewhere. He sat her in a chair, she put her hands down and it felt like she was sitting at a desk. "Okay, you can take off the blindfold."  
"Okay" she said and did so. Her moth dropped in awe as she looked around her. She recognized the place right away. It was her high school. The very room that she and Spike met. The very seat she sat in. she looked over and Spike was sitting in his seat. Buffy's eyes welled up with tears as she smiled.  
"So. . ." he said.  
"This is, so, so amazing" Buffy said.  
"I thought it would be romantic to bring you back to the place we first met" Spike smiled. "And that happened to be school."  
"It is romantic, it's amazing" Buffy said, also smiling. He got up and took her hand.  
"That's not all" he said and she got up as well and he led her down the hall to the cafeteria. "The first place we dined together" he said. She chuckled and they sat at the table they first sat at together.  
  
*Buffy's flashback* Spike: "All right, these are all my friends, this is Cordelia, Xander, Willow and Oz"  
  
*End of Buffy's flashback*  
  
"I. . ." Buffy tired to say, but her thoughts took her over.  
  
*Another Buffy flashback*  
  
Spike: "So, do you want to go out with me this weekend? I know we just met, but do you?" Buffy: "Sure"  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
"Buffy? Sweetheart? Are you all right?" Spike asked. Buffy was starring into Spike.  
"Yeah" she said, still with the dreamy look on her face.  
  
*Another Flashback*  
  
Buffy: "I'm pregnant"  
  
*Later*  
  
Spike: "Will you marry me?"  
  
*The thoughts and voices become faster and faster*  
  
Minister: "I now pronounce you husband and wife"  
  
*Later, at their honeymoon*  
  
Spike: "Buffy this is Drusilla" Drusilla: "An old girlfriend actually"  
  
*Giving birth to Charlotte*  
  
Dr. Helen: "Here we go, a beautiful baby girl:  
  
*Buffy and Spike naming her*  
  
Buffy: "Charlotte Joyce Bryson  
  
*When Buffy was raped*  
  
Buffy: "I was raped"  
  
*The birth of Robbie*  
  
Dr. Helen: "A handsome baby boy"  
  
*Buffy naming him*  
  
Buffy: "Robbie, Robert William Bryson"  
  
*End of final Flashback, the thoughts become speeding in her head until Spike snaps her out of it*  
  
"Buffy, Baby what's wrong?" Spike asked, getting worried.  
"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, uh, nothing's wrong, I was just remembering everything we've been through together" Buffy said.  
"Oh, good things?" Spike asked.  
"Very good things, and some bad, we haven't had a perfect marriage, but we've had, close to that, we have something that not many people find, and luckily Willow and Oz found it too. . .we have something that people dream about, I know I did, we survived, some horrible times together, we're still standing, that definitely means something" Buffy said. Spike kissed her.  
"I know baby" he said. They sat down and ate. Afterward Spike took her to the beach. They sat in the sand like they had before. When he first told her he loved her. They sat, Spike behind Buffy and she laid her head on his chest.  
"Do you think this is a bad omen?" Buffy asked.  
"What, the beach?" Spike asked, confused.  
"Not just the beach, being here, I mean, this is the place where, well you know" Buffy said.  
"Yeah I do, this is the place where our lives started, it's the place that planted the seed for everything that was to come, it's our destiny, our past, our future, and our eternal life, it's everything" Spike said.  
"I guess I never thought of it that way" Buffy said. They continued to watch the waves crash against the rocks and sand. They were married for two years, they had two beautiful children, and everything was. . .not what it seemed. 


	43. Tranquility shattered

OKAY, SO DID THAT LAST LINE MAKE YOU WONDER? WELL IT'S ALL LEADING UP TO THE. . .SERIES FINALE (LOL) ANYWAY, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.  
  
"Spike leave me alone," Buffy said angrily as she walked away from him.  
"No, get back here!" he screamed in fury.  
"I said go away!" she said and slammed the bathroom door.  
"Buffy if you don't open this door I'm going to bloody break it down!" he yelled and pounded on the door. She opened it and went into their bedroom. "Where in the bleeding hell were you all night, huh?" he asked, anger building.  
"None of your damn business, I'm a big girl Spike, okay, I can do what I want!" Buffy yelled and went into her closet.  
'What are you doing?" he asked, trying to calm down, but the resentment was still quite in his voice.  
"I'm going out" she said and got out a black red leather skirt and a black long-sleeved peasant top.  
"Not in that you're not" Spike said taking the skirt and heading towards the closet.  
"Give it back" Buffy said and took it back. "You cannot tell me what I can and can't wear okay."  
"Buffy I'm warning you. . ." he said.  
"You're, you're warning me, ha!" Buffy laughed and got undressed so she could put on the skirt and peasant top. After doing that she got out her tall black boots. She put them on and then went into the bathroom to do her hair.  
"Who are you going out with?" Spike asked, very annoyed.  
"Some people, Jack, Leon, Reggie-" Buffy began.  
"All guys" Spike said.  
"No, Reggie is a girl, her name is short of Regina" Buffy said. After doing her hair she left the bathroom and Spike followed.  
"And what about the kids, huh? Did you forget about your two children?" Spike said grabbing her by the arm and turning her around.  
"No, I didn't, don't worry, your precious 'time' will not be disturbed, I called Dawn and she's going to watch them, I'm taking them over there" Buffy said.  
"That isn't that point, I don't care to watch them, look Buffy, I don't know what wrong with you, but I really don't care all right" he said.  
"Oh no of course you don't" Buffy said and walked down the stairs where Charlotte and Robbie were in their playpen. Spike came shortly after.  
"Buffy-" he began.  
"Look, I'm going okay, I don't have time to talk" Buffy said and gathered all the kids' things and took them out to the car and came back for them. "Come on babies." She picked them up and took them out, Spike following.  
"Here" he said and took Robbie while Buffy put Charlotte into her car seat. After doing that she went over to the other side of the car and took Robbie from Spike and put him in his seat and then got in herself. "Buffy, damn it, talk to me."  
"Honey, I'm late" Buffy said and left.  
Buffy arrived at her mother's house and was met my Dawn.  
"Hey Buffy" she said happily and kissed her on the cheek.  
"Hey sweetie, thanks for watching Robbie and Charley for me" Buffy said.  
"No problem, anytime" Dawn said and took Robbie. "Spike called."  
"What did he say?" Buffy asked.  
"He said to ask you what's wrong, is there something wrong honey?"  
"No, nothing" Buffy said.  
"Okay, I'm gonna take your word for it, but if there's something that you want to talk about, you know you can talk to me right?" Dawn asked.  
"Of course" Buffy said. She got the babies' things and she and Dawn walked into the house.  
"I mean I may be only fourteen, but. . ." Dawn continued.  
"I know sweetheart, so, where's mom?" Buffy asked.  
"Oh, she went out with this dude from work" Dawn said. Buffy set Robbie and Charley's playpen and Buffy and Dawn put them in it.  
"A dude, really, a cute dude?" Buffy asked, amused that her mom as going out with someone.  
"Yeah, pretty much, I mean it sickens me to say that an old guy's cute, but. . .he kinda reminded me of Spike" Dawn said.  
"Really. . .oh she is such a copycat, I have the bad-boy, that's my thing" Buffy pouted.  
"Get over yourself" Dawn teased.  
"Okay, I have to go, thanks again sweetie" Buffy said and kissed Dawn and headed out.  
"Buffy" Dawn called after her.  
"Yeah?" Buffy said, turning back around.  
"If there is something wrong-"  
"I know, I can talk to you" Buffy said.  
"A-actually I was going to say, talk to Spike, though you can talk to me, you love him don't you?" Dawn asked.  
"Of course I do" Buffy said.  
"Then do you really want to lose him over something stupid?" Dawn asked. Buffy looked at her for a second and then smiled slightly before leaving.  
  
*Later*  
  
Buffy arrived home with the kids at about 12:00 midnight. She put them to bed and went into her and Spike's room and it was empty.  
"Spike?" Buffy called, but there was no answer. This put a cold chill down her spine. She moved closer to the bed and saw a piece of paper that red.  
  
Dear Buffy,  
We need some time apart. I don't know what your problem is, but you should figure that out alone. I just can't take this anymore. I love you more than anything, but there's only so much a person can take you know. Anyway when you figure out what's wrong call me, I'm at Xander's, see ya. Tell Robbie and Charlotte I love them.  
  
Spike.  
  
Buffy's mouth dropped and she sat down slowly realizing that her husband had left her.  
"Oh my g. . .god, no" she whispered to herself as a tear slid down her cheek. She got up and called Willow and Cordelia right away.  
"Hello?" Cordy answered.  
"Cordy" Buffy said quietly.  
"Buffy? Honey what's the matter?" Cordelia said.  
"I need to talk to you, I already called Will, please?" Buffy said, trying to hold back tears.  
"Of course, I'll be there, ASAP" Cordelia said and they hung up. Both Willow and Cordelia arrived within ten minutes.  
"Okay, we're here, what's wrong?"  
"I-" Buffy began, but there was a knock at the door. "Oh, that must be my mom." Buffy answered it and Joyce and Dawn were standing there.  
"Hey honey, what's up" Joyce said.  
"Yeah, it's really late" Dawn said sleepily.  
"Well you said I could talk to you anytime right?" Buffy said as she and everyone else sat down.  
"Of course, I was just being whiny, what's up?" Dawn asked, rubbing her eyes.  
"Uh, i-it's Spike he. . ." Buffy tried to explain.  
"What is it sweetie, what's wrong?" Willow asked taking Buffy's hand, Joyce took the other.  
"Spike. . .Spike left" Buffy sniffled.  
"Left what?" Cordy asked.  
"Me" Buffy said with tears in her eyes.  
"What?" Dawn asked.  
"Why?" Joyce asked.  
"How?" Willow asked.  
"Because I've been. . .horrible, I just. . .I don't know, oh god" Buffy said as she broke down and started crying.  
"Oh baby" Joyce said and hugged her daughter.  
"I can't lose him, I don't know why I've been acting so malicious, I just. . ." Buffy said.  
"Well you can fix it right? I mean all you have to do is apologize" Willow said.  
"I don't know if he'll talk to me" Buffy said.  
"Do you really want to risk it?" Cordelia asked.  
"No" Buffy said.  
"Go upstairs, call him- better yet, go to. . .where is he?" Willow asked.  
"Xander's" Buffy said.  
"All right, go to Xander's and talk to him" Joyce said.  
"Okay, you guys are right, um, can you stay here and watch Charlotte and Robbie?" Buffy asked.  
"Of course baby" Willow said. Buffy went over to Xander's and knocked on the door and Xander answered.  
"Hey" he said.  
"Hi, um, is Spike here?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh, yeah" Xander said.  
"Can I talk to him, please?" Buffy begged.  
"Yeah, of course, come in" Xander said and Buffy entered his apartment. "I'll get him." He left for a couple minutes and Spike came out.  
"What do you want" he said in monotone.  
"Baby I. . .I'm so sorry" Buffy said.  
"Well it's a little late for that don't you think?" Spike asked.  
"I don't know why. . .I mean I. . .I love you, I don't want to lose you, please" Buffy begged.  
"I think. . .we're better off. . .apart" he said. She backed away taking in what he said. 


	44. In mutual agreement

NEXT CHAPTER IS UP! YAY ME! ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY MORE CHAPTERS THERE WILL BE SO, WHATEVER. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.  
  
It had been three days since Spike had made his announcement. Buffy didn't exactly know what it meant. Did he want to get a divorce? Or did he just need some time? She didn't know. She hadn't seen him since that night. She hadn't said anything to him after his final line. She just walked out, not knowing what to do with it. Was her marriage ending? She lay there now, in their bed facing Spike's side. Seeing the emptiness of it. Searching desperately for an answer. She felt alone. Burdened by her own thoughts and blemished by those words "we're better off apart." He couldn't mean it, could he?  
  
**********************  
  
Spike sat in Xander's apartment sulking. Did he mean what he said? Or did he just say it out of spite? He really didn't know himself. He did love Buffy, more than life. But he just. . .they had been fighting so regularly lately that it seemed like a routine thing.  
"Hey man, you need to get out of the house, you're turning into a hermit" Xander said walking into the spare bedroom carrying Gracie.  
"What in the bloody hell did I tell her we were better off apart?" he asked, mainly to himself.  
"I don't know, did you mean it?" Xander asked.  
"That's the thing, I'm not sure, I mean. . .bollocks I don't know" he said in frustration.  
"Call her" Xander suggested.  
"I can't" Spike said taking a drink of the beer that he was holding.  
"Man" Xander said taking the beer away. "Look, do you want to lose her?"  
"I don't know, I mean I do love her, her and-and the kids mean everything to me, but. . .it just seems like we're struggling to meet the surface, and we just get pushed under every time" Spike said.  
"Remember when we were talking about me and Cordelia, and you said that it was about differentiating, to decide what was more important, well I'm giving you the same advice" Xander said.  
"You can't give me hand-me-down advice, you're the best friend" Spike said.  
"Well technically it's not hand-me-down, it's, hand-me-up" Xander said. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Xander gave Gracie to Spike and answered it.  
"Hey man" Oz said, holding Taylor.  
"Hey, get stuck babysitting?" Xander asked.  
"No, I wanted to spend some time with my daughter, some quality time" Oz said.  
"So you came over here to. . .?" Xander asked.  
"Because I have to idea what I'm doing" Oz said, Xander smiled and let him in.  
"We have sort of a crisis here" Xander said.  
"What's wrong?" Oz asked.  
"Spike and Buffy are. . .well kind of, broken up right now" Xander said.  
  
**********************  
  
Buffy pulled up to her mother's house and walked in.  
"Hey mom" she said and sat next to her and set Charlotte and Robbie on the floor.  
"How did you carry both of them?" Joyce asked.  
"Easy, I'm used to it now" Buffy said. Dawn came into the room with some friends.  
"Oh, Buffy, hi" Dawn said happily and Buffy got up and hugged her.  
"Hey sweetie" Buffy said.  
"So, what are you doing here?" Dawn asked.  
"I'm gonna stay here with you and mom for a while, since Spike left. . .the house has been sort of, empty" Buffy said.  
"Cool, are you okay" Dawn said.  
"Yeah, I'm fine" Buffy said. "Good" Dawn said. Joyce cleared her throat, meaning that Dawn forgot to introduce her friends to Buffy. "Oh, uh, Ellie, Lil, Erika, Shawna, this is my big sister Buffy, Buffy these are my friends."  
"Hi" Buffy said.  
"Hey, Dawn talks about you all the time" the girl named Erika said.  
"Good things I hope" Buffy joked.  
"Yeah, she tells us about your children, are these them?" Ellie asked.  
"Uh, yeah, this is Charlotte and Robbie" Buffy said.  
"Can we hold them?" Lil asked.  
"Sure" Buffy said and picked up Robbie and gave him to Lil and picked up Charlotte and gave her to Ellie.  
"Buffy can we take them upstairs?" Dawn asked.  
"Sure sweetie go ahead" Buffy said. Dawn and her friends went upstairs with the babies.  
"So, do you want to talk about you and Spike?" Joyce asked.  
"I think he wants a divorce" Buffy said.  
"What? Oh my god sweetie" Joyce said.  
"Mom. . .I'm scared" Buffy said.  
"Well of course you are you might lose you-" Joyce began.  
"No, I'm scared because. . .I think I want one too" Buffy said. 


	45. Assume crash positions

Buffy left the babies with Joyce and Dawn and went over to Xander's. She had been thinking about the whole situation with her and Spike for a while. She had come to a decision and had to talk to talk to Spike. She arrived and didn't even knock, just walked in.  
"Buffy, what-" Xander began.  
"Xander, where's Spike?" Buffy asked.  
"He's, Spike!" Xander called and Spike emerged from the bathroom.  
"What do you-" he began and then saw Buffy. "Hey."  
"Hi, we have to talk" Buffy said. Her and Spike left the apartment and went onto the roof.  
"What do we need to talk about?" Spike asked.  
"Spike I think you were right" Buffy said.  
"About what?" Spike asked.  
"I think that. . .we'd be better off apart" Buffy stated.  
  
**********************  
  
Meanwhile at Joyce's house Dawn was getting the wiggins about the happy couple herself.  
'Mom" she said when she went into the kitchen. Her friends had left and Robbie and Charlotte were asleep.  
"What is it honey?" Joyce asked.  
"Do you think that Buffy and Spike will be okay?" Dawn asked.  
"Honestly sweetie, I don't know" Joyce said. Dawn sighed, trying to hold back tears of frustration and sadness. She loved her sister, she loved Spike and she loved her niece and nephew. She didn't want them to break up.  
  
**********************  
  
"This is. . .I don't know how we got here" Spike said, leaning against the railing of the roof.  
"Me either, but. . .somewhere along, everything, we did" Buffy said. "Please don't get me wrong, I love you, so much, I do, it's just, all this time. . .I was searching for an answer, but maybe I should have been searching for the reason behind the questioning in the first place, Spike something brought us here, and it doesn't matter if we can't see it, or just don't want to, it's there. . .and I think. . .it always has been, we might not of seen it, it hid itself pretty well, we were happy, but I just. . ." Buffy said. "But there's I mean, nothing that can't be fixed right?" Spike asked. :That's what scares me, I don't know.we're.we're growing apart, but that's to be expected I mean we really didn't take the time to know each other, we sort of.rushed into things" Buffy said and began to cry. "And I'm afraid that it's all gonna turn out badly, that when this is all over, we're gonna be lost, we're just gonna feel empty and I can't handle that. . .I can't think of you as the bad guy I've done it once before, I can't go there again." "So what now?" Spike asked. "I think we'd better end it before we start to hate each other" Buffy said reluctantly. "Yeah. . .I think you're right" Spike said, with the same feeling. "It doesn't change anything, Charley is still your daughter, and Robbie is still your son, and I know that you will always love them and you can see them every weekend and-" Buffy began. " Why do you get custody of them?" Spike asked. "B-because I'm their mother, they needs me" Buffy said. "And I'm her father" Spike said. "Spike, don't you even try to take my babies from me okay, I'm not telling you that you can't see them" Buffy said. "Look luv, I'm not trying to take anything from you all right, if that's how you feel then why don't we let the judge decide" Spike said. You're taking me to court?" Buffy asked, angry and surprised. "If you want to play, you're going to lose" he said. "What is the matter with you, I'm not playing, I told you that you could see them, I never said you couldn't" Buffy said. "I don't want to go to court all right, but I can't live without my children. . .you know, I figured that, because Robbie wasn't mine, I'd have no, or minimal love for him. . .but I don't, I love him as much as I love Charlotte, he is my son" Spike said. "I know. . .what are we gonna do?" Buffy asked.  
  
**********************  
  
"I wonder what they're gonna do" Xander said to Cordelia, Willow and Oz. After Buffy and Spike went up to the roof Xander called them.  
"I don't know, I just hope that. . .they'll be okay, I mean they are. . .the glue, Buffy and Spike, they just. . ." Willow said choking up. She was trying not to cry, but it was so hard. The fear that her two best friends would break up was heartbreaking.  
"I'm sure they'll be fine" Oz said, comforting Willow.  
"I don't know you guys, they have been fighting a lot" Cordelia said.  
"But this is Buffy and Spike, I mean they're like. . .like. . ." Willow said.  
"Sunny and Cher? Ike and Tina?" Xander asked.  
"No, their marriage was happy- is, is happy, isn't it?" Willow asked.  
  
**********************  
  
"There's only one thing to do" Spike said. Buffy could feel the tears surfacing and held them back. "Where did we go wrong?"  
"You know. . .I think that. . .we didn't see it coming, because we refused to look, we were so strung up on what our marriage could be, that we didn't see what it'd become, it's our fault" Buffy said.  
"Yeah" Spike said.  
"We're getting divorced aren't we?" Buffy asked rhetorically.  
"It's the. . .the best thing to do" Spike said. Buffy began to cry a little and Spike hugged her.  
"I'm so sorry" she whispered.  
"No, don't be, it's no one's fault" he said and gave her a light kiss on the lips.  
"Bye" she said quietly.  
"Bye" he said.  
"We have to work out everything, who gets the house, the kids, everything" Buffy said.  
"I know, we will" he said. She turned around and left. 


	46. It's really over

ALL RIGHT. SO, BUFFY AND SPIKE ARE GETTING DIVORCED. . .OH COME ON YOU GUYS, I'M THE QUEEN OF ANGST. I LOVE PUTTING IN SAD STUFF. I LIKE HAPPY ENDINGS, BUT I PREFER THE SAD ONES. LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS BUTTERFLIES AND BUNNIES. ANYWAY HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.  
  
Willow, Buffy, Joyce, Cordelia and Dawn sat in Joyce's home not talking, not watching TV, just sitting in uncomfortable silence. No body wanted to say anything to Buffy. They didn't want to hurt her or make her sad in any way. They sat for more than ten minutes silent before Joyce spoke up.  
"So. . ." she said, trying to make some sort of conversation.  
"So. . ." Willow said also.  
"So" Buffy said.  
"Anybody want anything to drink?" Joyce asked.  
"Me" Dawn said.  
"Me too" Buffy said.  
"Ditto" Willow said.  
"I can go for something" Cordelia said.  
"Okay" Joyce said. "Can someone help me?"  
"I will" Willow said and she and Joyce went into the kitchen and returned with four wine coolers and a glass of lemonade.  
"Okay, here Dawnie" Joyce said and handed her the lemonade.  
"Uh! You guys get wine coolers and I have to drink lemonade?" Dawn asked.  
"It's your favorite" Joyce said.  
"Yeah well, now I feel out of place, and look you guys have strawberry" Dawn pouted.  
"Fine, just pretend that that's a lemon one then" Willow said.  
"It isn't fair" Dawn pouted.  
"Dawn you are fourteen, you are not getting alcohol" Joyce said.  
"The only one old enough to drink in this room is you mom, Buffy, Willow and Cordelia are all twenty" Dawn reminded her.  
"Well they'll all be twenty-one soon okay" Joyce said.  
"So when I turn twenty I can have alcohol?" Dawn asked hopeful.  
"We'll see" Joyce said and Dawn smiled.  
  
**********************  
  
"G've me 'nother one mate" Spike slurred as he put his shot glass down on the bar.  
"Okay, but one more and I'm cutting you off" Xander said and poured another shot of whiskey for Spike and he drank it and put it down again. They were both drunk. Spike decided that he needed a drunken fest with his friend. Oz had already passed out from drinking so much and was asleep.  
"So. . .what does it f. . .feel like to be a sing-single guy" Spike slurred.  
"Feels great man, you'll love. . .wait what was I saying?" Xander asked, drunk out his mind. Spike chuckled at him and took the whiskey bottle and drank from it.  
"I don't know" Spike said and took another drink from the bottle.  
  
**********************  
  
"Ha ha ha!" Buffy laughed hysterically at really nothing. After five wine coolers she was now drunk. Everyone else had stopped, but Buffy felt the need to consume even more as she finished the bottle and searched for another. "Hey, where did all the cooler wines go, I just said that wrong didn't I, ha!"  
"They're gone, you drank them all" Joyce said.  
"Oh. . .well there must be something with alcohol in here" Buffy said searching the cupboards.  
"Honey come on" Joyce said pulling her daughter away from the cupboard.  
"Mom I'm drowning my sorrows, I can't do that without alcohol" Buffy whined.  
"Come on sweetie, let's go sit on the couch and talk" Joyce said and led Buffy to the couch.  
"Honey I know you're hurting, but getting drunk is not going to help" Willow told her.  
"Yes it will, watch" Buffy said as she tried to go back into the kitchen, but Willow, Cordelia and Dawn stopped her.  
"Look, you just need some rest okay, why don't you go upstairs with your children and go to sleep" Joyce said.  
"He's going to try to take them from me, he said so" Buffy said.  
"Who's going to take who from you?" Willow asked.  
"Spike, he's going to try to take my children, but he won't get them, he won't" Buffy said.  
"Buffy-" Dawn began.  
"No! No I w. . .won't-" Buffy began, but then passed out.  
"Come on, let's get her upstairs" Joyce said and Cordelia and Willow picked Buffy up and carried her upstairs and put her in her own bed and Joyce covered her up.  
"Is she gonna be okay?" Dawn asked.  
"Yeah, she just needs a good sleep" Joyce said and kissed Buffy on the head before they all left and shut off the light.  
Spike woke and his head was pounding. He groaned as he got out of bed and went into the kitchen for some coffee.  
"Hey man" Xander said grimly. He obviously had a hangover as well.  
"Hey" Spike said and poured some coffee and sat in the chair next to Xander.  
"God my head" Xander said.  
"Exactly how drunk were we last night?" Spike asked.  
"Pretty drunk" Xander said.  
"Hey where's Oz, he was here last night wasn't he?" Spike asked.  
"Uh, yeah he went home" Xander said.  
"God my head" Spike said.  
  
**********************  
  
Buffy was waking up also in the same state as Spike and Xander. She groaned as she got out of bed and went into the bathroom. After washing up she went downstairs to find everyone watching TV.  
"Hey honey" Joyce said.  
"Hi" Buffy said quietly.  
"How are you feeling?" Dawn asked.  
"Like a cartoon road runner drop an anvil on my head" Buffy said and sat in the lazy-boy chair.  
"Do you want some aspirin?" Joyce asked.  
"Please" Buffy said laying her head on the arm of the chair and shutting her eyes. Joyce got up and went upstairs.  
"Mama" Charlotte said, coming over to her.  
"Hey baby" Buffy said quietly, opening her eyes to look at the little girl.  
"Mama you sick?" Charley asked.  
"Yeah sweetie mommy's sick" Buffy said.  
"Ca' I sit on your lap mama?" Charlotte asked.  
"Sure honey come on" Buffy said and picked her up and set her on her lap.  
"Do you still feel the same way? I mean do you still want a divorce?" Willow asked.  
"Yeah" Buffy said aversely.  
"Here you go" Joyce said, coming back down the stairs and giving her the medicine and a glass of water.  
"Thanks mom" Buffy said and took the aspirin.  
"Mama where daddy at?" Charlotte asked.  
"Daddy's at uncle Xander's baby" Buffy said.  
"Why he not here wit you and me and Robbie?" the little girl asked.  
"Because. . .because he. . ." Buffy tried to explain.  
"He was helping uncle Xander with a project, they were building something" Cordelia came to Buff's rescue. Buffy mouthed 'thank you' to Cordelia and she mouthed 'your welcome' back.  
"I should go home and. . .get some stuff" Buffy said, getting up and putting Charlotte on the chair. "Will you watch them for me?"  
"Of course" Joyce said.  
"Thanks" Buffy said.  
"Um, I should go to" Cordelia said.  
"Ditto, Oz is probably waiting" Willow said.  
"Thanks you guys, for being there for me" Buffy said and hugged Cordy, then Willow.  
"Your welcome sweetie" Willow said.  
"Yeah any time" Cordelia said. They all left at the same time.  
Buffy arrived home shortly after. She walked in the house and was surprised to find things missing. She walked upstairs to what was once her and Spike's bedroom and all of Spike's things were gone. Buffy looked around realizing that he wasn't coming back.  
"It's really over" Buffy whispered to herself as a single tear slid down her cheek and she began packing some of her stuff. 


	47. Termination of peace

OKAY, ONLY A FEW CHAPTERS LEFT. THIS IS THE DIVORCE. I'VE GOTTEN A LOT OF REVIEWS SAYING THEY SHOULDN'T GET DIVORCE, BUT DON'T WORRY THERE ARE OTHER SURPRISES. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!  
  
"All come to order" the judge said and everyone quieted down. "This is case 45893 Bryson vs. Bryson, now you're saying you want a divorce because you just aren't getting along anymore. After two years of marriage and two kids, alright Mr. Bryson, let's start with you."  
"Okay, well we started off great, we were perfect, but. . .something happened, we just weren't anymore" Spike said.  
"Okay, you're asking for custody of the two children is that right?" the judge asked. Buffy's eyes went wide and she looked at Spike.  
"What? No we agreed!" Buffy said, angry and hurt.  
"Mrs. Bryson, please contain yourself" the judge said. "Mr. Bryson please answered the question."  
"Yes" Spike said, not looking at Buffy. 'That bastard' Buffy thought in disgust.  
"All right, Mrs. Bryson, let's here your side of the story" the judge said.  
"We were happy, for a while, but it seemed that, little things just. . .things that weren't supposed to be important were, and we fought over them" Buffy said. "I want custody your honor."  
"It doesn't say that here" the judge said looking at the paperwork.  
"Well I wasn't going to sue him for it, we had an agreement, we would work that out separately, I didn't know he was gonna. . .but I do want it, I love my children" Buffy said.  
"Okay, well let's go on, Mr. Bryson where do you work?" the judge said.  
"Uh, at Lincoln's Auto shop" Spike said.  
"Good money?" the judge asked.  
"Yeah, very good" Spike said. Buffy looked at Spike in revulsion and he looked back at her for a second and turned away. She couldn't believe he was doing this to her. They had agreed. But then again she wasn't about to give them up so it would probably end up here anyway, but why couldn't he tell her? Sneaky son of a-  
"Mrs. Bryson? Mrs. Bryson" the judge asked.  
"Yes?" Buffy asked, snapping out of her thoughts.  
"Do you have a presentable job, can you support your kids?" the judge asked.  
"Uh, I work at Hair&Fashion, it's a little clothes/hair place on the corner of Berkley and Concord" Buffy said.  
"Okay, does it make good money? Enough to support two children, along with yourself?" the judge asked.  
"Yes, and I'm going to school, so I'll have a better job afterward" Buffy said.  
"What are you majoring in?" the judge asked.  
"Uh business and law, I want to start my own law firm" Buffy said.  
"Very good, good luck on that" the judge said. "Both of you have dependable jobs, good money, what about a place to live?"  
"Uh, I gave Buffy the. . .house" Spike said, realizing that that could hurt his case.  
"Where are you staying?" the judge asked.  
"At my friend Xander's I'm looking for an apartment now" Spike said.  
"Okay, we'll take a short recess and I'll come back with my decision" the judge said.  
  
*Later*  
  
They waited for fifteen minutes and the judge came back.  
"Order please" she said and everyone sat down. "Okay, I've made my decision based upon living situations and money. . .I'm giving custody to Mrs. Bryson, Mr. Bryson will see them every other weekend, Friday to Monday, Mr. Bryson if you have a place to live that is solely yours in two months then schedule another hearing, not before, not after, two months, April 15th is that clear?"  
"Yes" he said quietly. Buffy look at him and he looked at her with hurt in his eyes and she almost felt sorry for him, but she remembered he was the one who did this in the first place.  
"Court is adjourned" the judge said and everyone got up. Joyce, Willow and Cordelia hugged Buffy. Xander and Oz went over to Spike and patted him on the back consoling him.  
"Let's go, I want to get home to my babies" Buffy said and glanced at Spike. He looked glaringly at her. "Uh hold on a sec." She walked over to him and Xander and Oz departed so they could talk alone. "Why didn't you tell me you were suing for custody?"  
"Doesn't matter, you won" he said harshly.  
"I thought we agreed not to hate each other, and we would-" Buffy began.  
"No you agreed" he said coldly and walked away. Buffy looked on at him and felt rage start to build. 'He wants an apocalypse, I'll give him one' she thought and walked away with Cordy, Willow and her mom. 'This is war.' 


	48. The other woman

DO YOU ALL HATE ME RIGHT NOW? WELL I'M SORRY TO SAY IF YOU THINK THAT'S BAD, JUST WAIT. ANYWAY R/R.  
  
"So, Buffy, today is Spike's day right?" Dawn asked Buffy. They were sitting on her couch and the kids were down for their naps.  
"Yeah, he's coming in an hour" Buffy said as she flipped through the channels on the TV.  
"Are you okay?" Dawn asked.  
"Sure, why wouldn't I be, I mean I got pregnant when I was eighteen, got married, go raped, go pregnant, go divorced, my life's been peachy" Buffy said sarcastically and then began to cry.  
"Oh Buffy" Dawn whispered and hugged her. "Don't cry."  
"I can't help it, how did everything get so messed up? How did we grow apart so much?" Buffy asked.  
"I don't know sweetie, but you both wanted this right?" Dawn asked.  
"We both said it was for the best, I mean. . .god I just hate him, I hate him!" Buffy yelled.  
"Is that hate spelled l-o-v-e?" Dawn asked.  
"No, I don't love him anymore, not at all, I hate him" Buffy said and the doorbell rang. Buffy quickly wiped the tears away and answered it and saw Spike.  
"What are you doing here?" she asked coldly.  
"It's my weekend with the kids, where are they" he said, trying to walk in.  
"Ah! Stay right there, I'll get them, it will take me a while, you're an hour early" Buffy said, shutting the door in his face. "Can you help me get everything together Dawnie?" Buffy asked.  
"Sure" Dawn said and they went upstairs to get the kids. Twenty minutes later they had everything together. Buffy and Dawn took them outside where Spike was waiting in his car.  
"Okay, everything they need is here, make sure it is all returned" Buffy said and Spike took Robbie.  
"Yeah whatever" Spike mumbled. Buffy took Charlotte from Dawn and put her in her car seat and kissed her.  
"Okay baby, you're gonna go with daddy alright, mama loves you" Buffy said.  
"I wov you too mama" Charlotte said. Spike put Robbie in his car seat and Buffy went over to him and kissed him. "Bye Robbie."  
"See you Monday" Spike said in monotone and drove away.  
Willow and Oz were sitting in their living room watching TV. Buffy and Spike had been divorced for two weeks and they both had different opinions about it. Willow was on Buffy's side and Oz was on Spikes.  
"Can you pass the chips?" Oz asked.  
"Here " Willow said and gave him the bag. "It isn't Buffy's fault you know."  
"Well it's not Spike's" Oz said, not looking at Willow, just looking at the TV.  
"He was the one who initiated it" Willow said.  
"Aren't you supposed to be Spike's best friend?" Oz said, now facing her.  
"Things change, look I love Spike okay, but I'm going to be there for Buffy" Willow said.  
"And leave Spike out in the cold, you're a great friend" Oz mumbled.  
"You know what, I'm going over to Buffy's" Willow said. She got Taylor and went over to Buffy's house.  
Meanwhile Spike was pulling into Xander's complex. He got Charlotte and Robbie out of the car along with all their stuff and carried them upstairs. It was Xander's turn to watch Gracie so she was there also.  
"Hey man, need a little help?" Xander asked as Spike entered the apartment.  
"Please" Spike said and Xander took Robbie and his diaper bag form Spike. "Thanks."  
"No problem" Xander said.  
"Where's Gracie?" Spike asked.  
"Taking a nap" Xander said as he and Spike went into the living room.  
"Man I just want to thank you again for letting me stay here, it won't be long I promise" Spike said.  
"Take your time" Xander said. "How are you doing?"  
"Don't know, good I guess, I just hate her so much, I just. . .er! hate her!" Spike said angrily.  
"Man you can't fool me, I know that-" Xander began, but Spike cut him off.  
"No, don't say that, I don't" Spike said.  
"How'd you know what I was gonna say?" Xander grinned.  
"I. . ." Spike said at a loss of words. Xander just smiled.  
Willow arrived at Buffy's and walked in without knocking. She just wanted to get away from Oz and. . .all boys!  
"Buffy?" she called.  
"Hey Will, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked, coming out of the kitchen eating a cookie.  
"Sorry to barge like this, but. . .I just need to get away from Oz" Willow said and put Gracie down in Robbie and Charlotte's playpen.  
"Oh it's not trouble, my mom just came to pick up Dawn so I'm glad you're here" Buffy said.  
"You lonely?" Willow asked.  
"A little, without the kids" Buffy said.  
"And Spike?" Willow asked.  
"I wish everyone would stop asking me that, no not Spike, I don't want to. . .I mean I don't love. . .look I don't want to talk about it" Buffy said and sat on the couch.  
"Okay, we don't have to talk about it, we can. . .watch a video" Willow said, sitting on the couch also.  
"I just. . .I'm just so tired" Buffy said, laying her head on Willow's lap.  
"Well if you're tried sweetie why don't you go to sleep" Willow said.  
"Not that kind of tired, I'm just so fed up with all of this, it's like we did a 360 degree turn in the direction of bad and I just. . ." Buffy said.  
"I thought you said you didn't want to talk about it" Willow said.  
"I don't know what I want" Buffy told her. Not even a half hour later both girls were sleeping.  
  
**********************  
  
It was Monday morning and Spike was getting Robbie and Charlotte ready to go home.  
"Got everything?" Xander asked him.  
"Yeah" Spike said Xander picked up Charlotte and followed Spike out to the car. Spike put Robbie in his seat and Xander put Charley in hers. "All right, I'll be back late, I need some air" Spike said.  
"Whatever man, do your thing" Xander said.  
"See ya" Spike said and drove away. He arrived at Buffy's house a little while later and knocked on her door and she answered.  
"Hi babies" she said happily and took Robbie.  
"Can I come in to put her in bed" Spike asked sarcastically, remembering when she shut the door on him a couple days ago.  
"Fine" she said and went upstairs and he followed he put Charley in her bed and Buffy put Robbie in his and they left and turned out the light. "Uh you left some things here" Buffy said and went into the bedroom, he followed.  
"What stuff?" he asked. Buffy handed him a box. He looked inside and saw some CDs, a couple pieces of clothing and a small box. He opened it. "This is your engagement ring."  
"Yeah, my wedding ring too" Buffy said.  
"Why are you giving me these?" Spike asked.  
"Because we're not married anymore Spike, I mean it would be kind of silly to keep them right?" Buffy said.  
"It's like a gif, you get a gift from someone, you don't give it back because you get divorced, or you stop talking to them" Spike said and gave her the box back.  
"Thanks" Buffy said quietly.  
"How ya been?" Spike asked.  
"Okay, you?" Buffy asked.  
"Fine, totally fine, better than fine" Spike said.  
"Me too" Buffy said.  
"I should get going, I'm late for lots and lots of getting drunk" Spike said and left. Buffy opened the box and looked at the rings. She went into her bedroom and put them in the drawer next to her bed. She climbed in bed and went to sleep.  
Spike was sitting at the bar now drinking. He wanted, no he needed to get Buffy out of his head. He didn't love her anymore. He took another shot, then another, then another.  
"Drowning your sorrows?" a girl asked.  
"Not drowning, just wallowing" Spike said. The girl smiled and so did Spike.  
"Hi, I'm Anya" Anya said.  
"Spike" Spike said and shook her hand.  
"So, Spike, bad day?" Anya asked.  
"Bad month, just got divorced" Spike said.  
"I'm sorry" Anya said sympathetically.  
"Don't be, I'm not" Spike said.  
"No if I was your wife, I certainly wouldn't let you go" Anya said teasingly.  
"Yeah well, Buffy was a bint, most of the time" Spike said taking another shot.  
"And the other times?" Anya asked, moving closer.  
"The other times, she was. . .amazing" Spike said.  
"Do you miss her?" Anya asked.  
"No" Spike said bluntly. "Let me by you a drink."  
"I can do better than that, why don't you come to my place and we can have drinks there" Anya said.  
"Sounds good" Spike said.  
Anya and Spike were now in Anya's apartment making out. they hadn't broke the kiss from the front door to the couch. They were now making their way to Anya's bedroom. Spike lifted her up and continued to kiss her passionately. The door to Anya's room sung open and once they were inside Spike shut it with his foot. They both fell back on her bed and Spike broke the kiss to begin unbuttoning her blouse. Anya removed Spike shirt. Once hers was off too Spike kissed her again. *The next morning*  
  
Spike woke at 9:45 the next morning. Anya was laying there watching him sleep.  
"Hey" he said.  
"Morning" she said and kissed him. "You were amazing last night."  
"Ditto" he said and they smiled.  
"Your wife was a lucky woman" Anya said.  
"Yeah, her loss" Spike said grimly.  
"Her loss" Anya said and kissed him again. "My gain." He turned her over so that he was on top of her and they began to make out. Suddenly Anya's phone began to ring and she broke the kiss and answered it. "Hello? Oh god, yeah, alright I'll be there, bye."  
"Who was that luv?" Spike asked.  
"My sister, my son's sick I have to go, you could come with me if you wanted" Anya said.  
"Sure" Spike said. "You never told me you had a son."  
"You never asked" Anya said.  
"What's his name?" Spike asked.  
"Tyler, he's named after his father" Anya said, getting up and getting dressed. Spike did the same.  
"Where is his father?" Spike asked.  
"Somewhere, I don't know, he left when Tyler was just a baby" Anya said.  
"How old is he now?" Spike asked.  
"Five" Anya said. "We'd better go."  
  
**********************  
  
Buffy opened her eyes. The sun was shining bring and high in the sky. She rolled over to look at the clock. It was 10:26. She slowly sat up and got out of bed and went to her kids' room. Charlotte and Robbie were awake.  
"Hi babies" Buffy said.  
"Mama!" Robbie said happily.  
"Hi" Buffy smiled and picked him up.  
"Mama, where daddy?" Charlotte asked.  
"Sweetie daddy doesn't live here anymore" Buffy told her daughter.  
"Why?" the little girl asked.  
"Because. . ." she tried to explain. Thankfully the phone rang and Buffy answered it. "Hello?"  
"Hey Buffy" Cordelia said happily.  
"Hey Cordy" Buffy said.  
"Look I'm going to do you a favor" Cordelia said. "I'm going to watch your kids today and you're going to go to a spa."  
"What?" Buffy asked confused.  
"I got you an appointment, you're going, that's final" Cordelia said.  
"Hey I'm not gonna argue, thanks Cordy" Buffy said.  
"No problem, thank Willow too, she helped pay for it" Cordelia said.  
"You guys didn't have to do this" Buffy said.  
"It's no problem, we love you and we want you to relax, so I'm going to come and get them for you, the appointment's at 4:00" Cordelia said.  
"Thanks" Buffy said. They hung up and Buffy got the kids' things together. Cordelia arrived an hour later and took the kids. Buffy decided that since she had a lot of time on her hands that she would go to the store. She drove to Hurley's Supermarket and walked inside. She just wanted to get a few things. She was walking down the cereal aisle when she saw Spike and some girl kissing. 'Oh-my-god' she thought. They stopped kissing and Spike looked straight at her. Buffy tried to turn away so he didn't see her, but he did so she walked up to them.  
"Buffy" Spike said, surprised to see her.  
"Hi" Buffy said firmly.  
"Uh, what are you doing here?" Spike asked.  
"Shopping, who's your friend?" Buffy asked.  
"Oh, this is Anya, Anya this is Buffy me. . .ex" Spike said.  
"Hi, nice to meet you" Anya said.  
"You too" Buffy said and shook her hand. "Well I have to go and shop so. . .see ya" Buffy said and walked away.  
"She seems nice" Anya said.  
"Yeah" Spike said and looked on at Buffy as she walked away. Buffy finished shopping and went back home and called Willow and Cordelia on three way.  
"Hello?" Willow said.  
"Will, hold on I got Cordy on three way" Buffy said and pushed the button so they could all talk. "Hey you both there?"  
"Yeah" Willow and Cordelia said at the same time.  
"Okay, get this, Spike has a girlfriend" Buffy said.  
"What?" both girls said in simultaneously again.  
"Yeah, I saw them making out at the supermarket" Buffy said. "Can you believe that, I mean we've only been divorced for two weeks."  
"Why do you care, I mean you said you didn't love him anymore right?" Willow asked.  
"Well. . .I. . ." Buffy tired to say.  
"You still love him don't you?" Cordelia asked.  
"No I. . .yes" Buffy finally gave up.  
"I knew it, I knew that you still loved him" Willow gloated.  
"Okay, stop it, look I do love him, but that doesn't change anything alright, we're better of apart" Buffy said.  
"Okay, whatever you say, but I still think that you two should get back together" Cordelia said.  
"Look I have to go, thanks again guys for the spa appointment" Buffy said.  
"See ya later" Willow said.  
"Bye" Cordelia said.  
"We love you" Willow added.  
'I love you guys too, bye" Buffy said and hung up the phone and plopped on her bed. She frowned at the quiet in the house. She went downstairs to put away the groceries and then went back upstairs and turned on her stereo and turned it up really loud so the house wasn't so soundless. She just listened to music until it was a half hour till four and she went to the spa place. She looked at the sign. It read 'Delilah's. She walked inside and there weren't many people there.  
"Hello, can I help you?" the woman behind the desk asked.  
"Hi, my name is Buffy. . .S. . .B. . .uh, hold on one sec please" Buffy said and took out her cell phone and dialed Cordelia's number. She didn't know whether Cordy put her appointment under Summers or Bryson.  
"Hello?" Cordelia answered.  
"Cordy, I have a question" Buffy said.  
"Buffy?" Cordelia asked.  
"Yeah, look, what name did you put the appointment under?" Buffy asked.  
"Oh, Summers, I didn't want to upset you so I didn't put it under Spike's last name" Cordelia said.  
"Thanks hon, bye" Buffy said.  
"Bye" Cordelia said and they hung up.  
"Uh, Buffy Summers" Buffy said. "Sorry."  
"That's okay, just get divorced?" the woman asked.  
"Am I that obvious?" Buffy asked, smiling a little.  
"I went through it too" the woman said. "My name's Callie."  
"Hi" Buffy said.  
"Here we are, Jean Luc will take care of you, wait one second and I'll get him" Callie said. She went into the back room and came back. "It will just be a minute."  
"Okay, thanks, um, Jean Luc, is he French?" Buffy asked.  
"Yes, he's. . .well he's hot" Callie said.  
"Ooh, I like hot, my ex husband is hot, hot" Buffy said and Callie smiled.  
"Not to get into your business, but it sounds like you still love him" Callie said.  
"My friends keep telling me that, I mean I want him to be there for my kids, but we just have problems" Buffy said.  
"You have kids, you look so young" Callie said.  
"Yeah, two, Charlotte is two and Robbie is almost one" Buffy said.  
"Wow, I have a daughter of my own, she's thirteen, her name's Madelyn" Callie said.  
"Oh, that's a pretty name" Buffy said. Jean Luc came out a while later and Buffy went in the back with him.  
  
**********************  
  
Spike and Anya arrived back at her apartment later that day.  
"I can't believe that Tyler didn't want to come home with me" Anya said.  
"Well he wanted to stay with his cousins" Spike said turning her around and kissing her.  
"Let's go to bed" Anya said.  
"I'm not tired" Spike said.  
"Either am I" Anya smiled and they went into her bedroom. 


	49. Terminal

OKAY. I KNOW I KEEP SAYING THAT IT'S ALMOST OVER, AND IT IS. I JUST HAVE TO COVER ALL THE ASPECTS OF IT BEFORE ENDING. ANYWAY REVIEW PLEASE.  
  
It had been almost six months since Buffy and Spike got divorced. Anya and Spike had started a real relationship and Buffy was happy being single. She wasn't feeling well though for the past couple of days. She didn't know what was wrong, but something didn't feel right. Something in her head kept telling her to go to the doctor. She had decided a few days ago that if she didn't feel better in a couple days that she would go, and now here she sits in the doctor's office waiting. 'At least I know I can't be pregnant' she thought, looking on the bright side of things.  
"Buffy Summers" the nurse called and Buffy got up and followed her back into a room.  
"The doctor will be right with you" she said.  
"Thanks" Buffy said. Ten minutes later the doctor came into the room.  
"Hello, I'm doctor Trifler" the doctor said.  
"Hi' Buffy said.  
"All right, what seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.  
"I'm having some pains in my side here" Buffy said and pointed to her side.  
"All right, let's see" the doctor said. "Lie down please." Buffy did as the doctor told her and he pushed lightly on her side. "Does that hurt?" he asked.  
"Yeah" Buffy said flinching.  
"Okay, well we're going to do an ultrasound all right, to see what's going on in there" he said.  
"Fine with me" Buffy said. About five minutes later they were ready for her and they wheeled her into the ultrasound room. The nurse did the ultrasound. Buffy could see the concerned look on the lady's face, but she was too afraid to ask what was wrong. They wheeled her back into her room and the nurse gave the doctor the pictures.  
"Oh" the doctor said.  
"What? What's wrong?" Buffy asked.  
"Um, one moment, uh. . .it says here that you had some problems a about a year ago, giving birth to your second child?" he asked looking at the chart.  
"Uh, yeah, I almost died" Buffy said.  
"And your doctor was doctor Helen?" he asked.  
"Yeah" Buffy said.  
"Okay, one moment" the doctor said and left the room for about fifteen minutes and came back with dr. Helen.  
"What's going on?" Buffy asked.  
"Buffy, I'm afraid that we have some bad news" dr. Helen said.  
  
**********************  
  
Spike walked into his apartment. He had since the divorce got a place and now had half custody of the children. Monday through Thursday Buffy had the kids and then Friday through Sunday Spike had them. Today was Saturday and Spike had the kids. He set them down and went into the kitchen to put away the groceries. After doing that he decided to watch some TV with Robbie and Charley.  
"Okay nibblits , what do you want to watch?" Spike asked.  
"Winnie a pooh" Charlotte said. Spike smiled at the little girl. He should of known the answer to the question before he asked it. Winnie the Pooh was always the movie she picked.  
"All right, Winnie the Pooh it is" Spike said and popped the movie in the VCR. Suddenly the phone rang and he answered it. "Hello?"  
"Spike, it's Buffy" Buffy said.  
"Hey, what do you want" Spike asked.  
"W-we need to talk, now" Buffy said. He could hear the fear in her voice.  
"What's wrong?" he asked.  
"Can I come over?" she asked him.  
"Yeah, sure" he said. "Buffy what-" he began, but she hung up the phone. He hung up too. He waited for her to come. It took her twenty minutes to get there. She rang the doorbell and he answered it.  
"Hey" she said.  
"Hey" he said back and let her in. "So, what do you want to talk about?"  
"Uh, can we talk in private, I don't want them to hear this" Buffy said, looking towards the kids who were glued to the TV.  
"Sure, Charley, you stay here all right, do not move from this couch."  
"Okay daddy, mommy!" Charlotte said.  
"Hey baby" Buffy said.  
"Mama" Robbie said and smiled.  
"Hi sweetie" Buffy said. Spike took her hand and led her into his bedroom.  
"Okay, what do you want to tell me?" he asked.  
"Spike. . .I went to the doctor today, because I was feeling sick, they found out what was wrong. . .Spike the tumor's back" Buffy said.  
"What?" Spike asked.  
"The tumor, that they operated on, it's back. . .and this time, this time they said that. . ." Buffy said and began to cry. "They said it was terminal ."  
"Wh-what! No, no it-it's been almost three bloody years!" Spike said and Buffy began to sob. Spike moved closer to her and held her.  
"I don't know what I'm gonna do, I'm so scared" she said.  
"Oh god, I . . .I. . .oh. . ." Spike said at a loss of words. He couldn't believe this was happening. "How long?" he managed to ask.  
"They. . .they said. . .four months, five at the most" Buffy said.  
"Oh god, no that's, that's not. . .it's not enough time" Spike said pulling away and looking at her. He now had tears in his eyes.  
"Don't you think I know that!?" Buffy yelled through sobs and dropped to the floor. "I don't want to die.'  
"Oh baby" he said sitting on the floor next to her.  
"I don't. . .I'm not ready to die yet, I'm only twenty years old" Buffy whispered. "Oh god the kids, I can't tell them Spike I. . ."  
"Shhh, I'll tell them luv, I. . .I don't know how I. . .oh god" Spike said holding her.  
Buffy cried for almost an hour. She cried herself to sleep and Spike laid her in his bed. He walked out into the living room where his children were also sleeping. He picked them up and put them in their playpen. All of the sudden there was a knock at the door and he answered it and it was Anya.  
"Hey" she said happily and kissed him.  
"An, I. . .look this isn't a good time alright" he said.  
"Why, I thought we could-" Anya began, but spike cut in.  
"Buffy's here, she's in my room" Spike said.  
"Oh. . .you're back together?" Anya asked.  
"Not exactly, look I can't discuss this with you it's private, but, look I'm sorry but. . ."Spike tried to explain.  
"You still love her" Anya said.  
"I do, and she needs me right now" Spike said.  
"Go get her" Anya smiled and kissed Spike on the cheek. "I always knew that you still loved her, that's why I promised myself that I wouldn't fall in love with you."  
"I'm sorry" Spike said.  
"Don't be" Anya smiled and left. Spike went back into his room and sat on the bed next to Buffy. He couldn't believe that this was happening. It was unreal. He sat there and just held her.  
  
*Spike's memory*  
  
Buffy: I don't want to die  
  
*Spike's memory II*  
  
Teacher: Class this is Elizabeth Summers Buffy: Buffy  
  
*Spike's memory III*  
  
Spike: Do you want to go out with me? Buffy: Sure  
  
*Spike's memory IV, the thoughts get faster and faster in his head*  
  
Buffy: Let's go upstairs  
  
*Later*  
  
Buffy: I'm pregnant  
  
*Later*  
  
Spike Will you marry me?  
  
*Spike's memory V*  
  
Dr.: It's a girl  
  
Suddenly Buffy shakes him out of his thoughts.  
"Spike, are you alright?" Buffy asked.  
"Huh? Yeah baby I'm fine" he said. He looked at her and his eyes threatened to make more tears.  
"Stop that" Buffy said.  
"Stop what?" Spike asked.  
"Stop looking at me like I'm some kind of fragile furniture that's going to break any second" Buffy said.  
"I'm so sorry" Spike said.  
"Spike I'm scared, I keep thinking, 'when is it going to happen, am I going to be in a store, a bank. . .at my child's birthday party'" Buffy said and began to cry again. "I don't want to leave them."  
"I know" Spike said.  
"No you don't, you have no idea what it's like to know that you won't be around to watch your children grow up, to watch them get married, have children, you don't know" Buffy cried. Spike hugged her and he held him tightly. She didn't want to let him go. "I love you." She whispered.  
"I love you too pet" he whispered back. She looked at him and kissed him passionately on the lips. He responded by kissing her back with even more passion. He laid on top of her and she unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, then she pulled off his t-shirt.  
"I want you" she whispered. He kissed her again as we worked on her shirt.  
  
**********************  
  
Buffy woke up and it was dark. Spike was lying in bed next to her. She smiled as she turned on her side. He was still asleep. 'I forgot how good this felt' Buffy thought as she played with his hair. She did love him, so much. She wanted to be with him. She was just sorry that she didn't find that out until it was too late. Until her life was. . .over. Spike stirred and then opened his eyes and looked at her.  
"Hey luv" he said.  
"Hi" she said quietly and scooted closer to him and kissed him.  
"I should be happy right now, but I'm not, I'm losing you" Spike said.  
"I. . ." Buffy began, but she couldn't talk. If she talked, the tears would start again. She couldn't tell him that it was okay. It wasn't, she was dying and there was nothing anyone could do. She just laid there and let Spike hold her. 


	50. Dead girl walking

TEAR, TEAR, WEEP, WEEP. BUFFY'S DYING! (exclamation not a happy one.) WELL YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER, LOL. ANYWAY ONLY ABOUT TWO OR THREE CHAPTERS LEFT, PROBABLY THREE, BUT WE'LL SEE. R/R!  
  
Buffy helped Spike move the last of things back into their house. They were back together now. It had only been a few days, but to Buffy it was longer, and to Spike, even longer than that. They hadn't told anyone. Not Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Oz, Joyce Dawn or their kids. They didn't know how to. I mean how do you tell the people you love that you're going to be dead before the year's over. Buffy stood looking out the window of her and Spike's bedroom. She didn't want to be around anyone. Which surprised her. If she only had a limited time left, then why didn't she want to spend it with her friends and family? Suddenly she felt arms wrap around her waist and lips on her neck. She closed her eyes and leaned back into Spike.  
"Hey" she said quietly.  
"Hey baby" he said and rested his chin on her shoulder. "You're shaking."  
"I know" she said and turned to face him. "How are we going to tell everyone?"  
"I don't know baby, I. . .I don't know" Spike said. Buffy hugged him. She was so scared. She didn't want to die. But then again, no one wants to die, at least not most people.  
'I'm scared" she whispered.  
"That's comprehensible, I mean. . ." Spike, trailing off. He didn't want to use the words 'die, dying, dead or death.'  
"Yeah" Buffy said looking down.  
"We do have to tell them though sweetie, all of them, especially our children and your mother, and Dawn" Spike said.  
"I know" Buffy said, trying to hold back tears.  
"It's okay to do it baby" Spike said.  
"Do what?" Buffy asked puzzled.  
"Cry" Spike said.  
"I can't, if I start, I won't stop, it took all my strength to stop the last time, I. . .I have to be strong" Buffy said.  
"How can you possibly be strong at a time like this, I mean baby you're-" Spike began.  
"I know!" Buffy yelled in frustration and fear and the calmed herself down. "I know. . .I just . . .I can't. . .oh god help me" Buffy said, finally breaking down and melting, almost collapsing into Spike's arms. He caught her and held her.  
"Just let it out baby" he whispered.  
  
**********************  
  
Joyce was making pancakes for her and Dawn when Dawn came down the stairs.  
"Hey mom" she said and sat at the island in the kitchen.  
"Hey sweetie, sleep well? Sleep late?" Joyce joked. It was 12:30 in the afternoon. Dawn usually was up by 9:00, 9:30 tops.  
"I was up late" Dawn said.  
"Oh, well I'm making pancakes" Joyce said.  
"Yum" Dawn smiled and then the phone rang. "I'll get it." She went over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?  
"Dawn, I have to talk to you and mom about something" Buffy said quietly.  
"What? What's wrong?" Dawn asked.  
"I'll be over in a while" Buffy said and hung up the phone. The tone of Buffy's voice put chills down Dawn's spine.  
"What did Buffy want honey?" Joyce asked as Dawn hung up the phone.  
"I don't know, she just said that she need to talk to us about something and that she would be over soon and hung up, mom I think something's wrong with her, the tone in her voice it. . .it wasn't right" Dawn said.  
"What do you mean?" Joyce asked, finishing the pancakes and putting them on plate for her and Dawn.  
"I don't know, it scared me" Dawn said.  
"Was it mean?" Joyce asked.  
"No. . .it was. . .timorous, like. . .like she was going to tell us that the world was ending or something" Dawn said.  
"I hope she's okay" Joyce said. "I guess we'll have to find out when she gets here."  
Buffy and Spike pulled up to Joyce's house an hour later. They took out the kids and entered the home.  
"Hey Buffy" Dawn said happily and hugged her sister.  
"Hi" Buffy said quietly.  
"Uh. . .what are you two doing together?" Dawn asked, and then her eyes lit up. "Are you two. . .?"  
"Yeah, but that's not what we came to talk about" Buffy said. Dawn squealed, and then quickly recovered.  
"Sorry, I'm just so. . .happy!" she said and hugged them both.  
"Dawn this isn't a joke okay" Buffy said firmly.  
"Sorry" Dawn said in a more serious tone.  
"We should go sit down, where's mom" Buffy said, the emotion draining from her voice.  
"Uh, she's upstairs, mom!" Dawn called and Joyce came down the stairs.  
"Buffy. . .and Spike, nice to see you both" Joyce said and hugged them both.  
"They're back together" Dawn smiled and Buffy looked at her. "But it isn't a joke."  
"What isn't a joke?" Joyce asked.  
"Let's go into the living room okay" Buffy said and they all went and sat down.  
"So, what's going on, what do you need to tell us?" Joyce asked.  
"Okay, um. . .I. . .I don't know. . .how to say this" Buffy said, trying not to cry.  
"Just say it" Dawn instructed.  
"I went to the doctor a couple days ago and. . .I-I was feeling sick so I went and. . .they said that. . .the tumor's back" Buffy said. "And this time. . ."  
"This time what?" Joyce asked.  
"It's terminal" Buffy choked out.  
"Oh god" Joyce whispered.  
"No, no that can't be right, no they're wrong" Dawn said.  
"No they're not honey" Buffy said.  
"Yes! They have to be, you can't die you-you're too young, you have a whole life ahead of you" Dawn said.  
"Dawn-" Buffy began.  
"No! Say it, say that they're wrong" Dawn decreed.  
"I can't sweetie, I'm gonna-" Buffy tried to say.  
"No, no don't say it, don't you dare say it" Dawn warned.  
"Dawn, sweetie-" Joyce stared, trying to calm her daughter.  
"No, leave me alone" Dawn said and ran upstairs.  
"Dawn" Joyce called after her.  
"Let her be" Buffy said.  
"Oh god baby I. . .I can't lose you" Joyce said quietly and tearfully.  
"Mom I. . ." Buffy tried to say, but the words wouldn't contemplate themselves in her brain. She just hugged her mom and Joyce and Buffy began to cry.  
  
*Later*  
  
Buffy walked up the stairs to Dawn's room. She slowly opened the door and found Dawn sitting on her bed starring in plain shock at the wall.  
"Dawnie" Buffy said quietly.  
"Go away" Dawn said crossly.  
"Honey we have to talk" Buffy said, sitting on Dawn's bed.  
"What's to talk about?" Dawn said, not looking at Buffy.  
"Hey you can't get mad at me, I'm the one who's dying here" Buffy said jokingly. Dawn looked at her with tears in her eyes.  
"Don't say that" she said gravelly.  
"Do you think I like this? Do you think I want to die? I don't, and I'm scared, I am so scared Dawnie" Buffy said tearfully.  
"I can't lose you, you're my big sister, you've been there my entire life, my entire existence you have been there and I. . .I can't have that any other way" Dawn chocked.  
"I know" Buffy said quietly and hugged her.  
"What are you gonna do? Just want for it to happen?" Dawn asked.  
"It's the only thing I can do" Buffy said.  
"How long?" Dawn asked, afraid of her answer.  
"Four months, maybe five" Buffy said.  
"Oh god. . .that's not long enough" Dawn said.  
"It wouldn't be if I would of said three years, it's never long enough, life's never long enough" Buffy said.  
"Does anyone else know?" Dawn asked.  
"No, just you, mom and Spike" Buffy told her.  
"I'm so sorry" Dawn said.  
"Me too, I guess I have some kind of bad karma or something" Buffy said half-jokingly and then she tuned quiet and serious. "I don't want to leave me children."  
"I know" Dawn said and put her arm around her big sister. Buffy laid her head on Dawn's shoulder and Dawn held her. Spike came up a while later.  
"Hey baby" Spike said.  
"Hi" Buffy said.  
"We should go, we still have people to tell" Spike said.  
"No, I'm to tired to tell anyone else, you have to do it, please" Buffy said.  
"Yeah, of course" Spike said. "Come on I'll take you home."  
"Okay" Buffy said and got up, followed by Dawn.  
"Buffy. . .I love you" Dawn said.  
"I love you too honey" Buffy said and kissed Dawn on the forehead.  
"Bye bit" Spike said and he took Buffy's hand and they got the kids and left.  
Buffy woke up the next morning and heard voice from downstairs. She slowly sat up, straining her ears to hear who was down there. She heard Willow's voice, then Xander's, and Cordelia and Oz's also. 'Everyone's here, I can't face them right now' Buffy thought and laid back down. She heard Spike say, "I'll go get her," and she closed her eyes, hoping that he didn't mean her, but he did. He came into their room and lightly shook her.  
"Buffy, sweetheart" he said quietly.  
"Hmm" Buffy said, her eyes still closed.  
"Everyone wants to talk to you baby, are you up for it?" Spike asked.  
"I don't know" Buffy said, now opening her eyes and looking at Spike.  
"Baby you have face them sooner or later, better sooner than later I say" Spike said.  
"Maybe you're right, but I'm tired of having the same conversation, 'I'm dying' 'oh I'm so sorry,' I just. . .I'm tired" Buffy said.  
"Do you want to stay up here? I can tell them to come back" Spike said.  
"No, it's okay" Buffy said and Spike helped her out of bed. "Did you schedule the doctor's appointment?"  
"Yeah, Thursday at nine in the morning" Spike said.  
"Okay" Buffy said and they walked downstairs together. When Buffy reached the living room all the faces there were filled with grief and terror.  
"Buffy" Willow said.  
"Hey guys" Buffy said light heartedly.  
"Buffy, how are you feeling?" Cordelia asked.  
"Okay, for you know, how I should be feeling" Buffy said.  
"Buff, I just. . .I can't get over this, you're. . .it isn't possible" Xander said.  
"Yeah out of all of us, you're the one who least deserves this" Oz said.  
"I don't think that anybody deserves this, but it doesn't change the fact that. . ." Buffy said.  
"That you're not going to be here? I can't except that, there has to be something they can do" Willow said.  
"There isn't Will, the tumor it. . .it's spread too much, to too many places. . .and it's going to kill me" Buffy said. Willow and Cordelia's eyes got teary. "Guys I don't want sympathy okay, I have four months left and I'm going to spend them doing things, not just lying around feeling sorry for myself, I can't stop this, but I'm not going to let it ruin my life."  
"No, not ruin. . .it's just going to take it" Willow said quietly. Buffy went over to Willow and hugged her. Xander joined in the embrace.  
"We can't give up Buff, we don't know how to" Xander said. Buffy closed her eyes and just held on to Willow and Xander. She didn't know when she was going to die, but she knew she wouldn't be along when she did. She had her friends, she had her mother, she had her sister, she had her children, and she had Spike, the love of her life. She was scared, but the fact that she had all of them to hold on to, meant that she wouldn't be alone when she went to heaven. She wanted to tell them all that it would be okay. That she would be okay. She wanted to make all their pain go away. The biggest thing that scared her was that when she died, her children wouldn't be old enough to remember her when the years passed. That she would just be a faded memory for them. She wanted them to know that she loved them and no matter what, nothing in this world would make her leave them, not even death. 


	51. Memories

IT'S SO FUNNY YOU GUYS. ALL THE REVIEWS I'M GETTING SAY DON'T KILL BUFFY. DON'T THINK THAT I'M ONLY DOING THIS JUST TO MAKE PEOPLE MAD. I JUST THINK THAT SAD ENDINGS ARE GOOD. ANYWAY, HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER. R/R.  
  
Morning came, but the sun did not shine. Rain fell harder than it had ever fallen in California. The thunder roared across the sky as lightning crashed. The storm was out of control. Mother Nature was releasing her wrath on the world. Buffy sat by the window watching the rainfall, the thunder and lightning, and she ceased to exist. She didn't know how a storm could be so powerful. How water could cause so much damage. Nothing in the world existed right at this moment. Nothing but her and the storm. It was like she was in tune with it. It was like her whole life was in that storm. Her darkest fears and her wildest dreams. Her biggest wishes and her most hatred thoughts. Everything was in that storm. Another lightning flash and roar of thunder. The rain fell steadily. Not getting any harder, not slowing down. Suddenly she heard the door open, but couldn't respond. It was like the storm was paralyzing her. Like it had her in a trance. Spike came up next to her and sat down, not knowing what was wrong with her.  
"Buffy?" he asked, pushing the damp hair from her face. She had left the window open and the rain flew through the screen, pretty much soaking her. "Buffy sweetheart what's wrong?"  
"Look at it" Buffy said, staring out the window. "It's eternal, everything out there is eternal, the trees, the grass, the rain, the sky, the wind, it all comes back, never dies."  
"I guess you're right luv" Spike said, also looking out the window. The rain was still pouring heavily. Spike closed the window, which brought Buffy out of her daze.  
"Oh, hey" she said; now looking at him.  
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Spike asked.  
"I wish everyone would stop asking me that, I'm fine, I am, I just. . .I'm fine" Buffy said getting up and walking over to her computer.  
"What are you doing luv?" he asked, following her.  
"Writing a life story" Buffy said and sat down. "Getting pregnant at eighteen, getting married, getting raped, getting pregnant, getting divorced, getting cancer, it's worth writing about don't you think?"  
"Yeah, I guess so" Spike said. "Are you hungry, I can make you something to eat."  
"Uh, sure" Buffy said. Spike kissed her on her forehead and then went downstairs. Buffy began typing.  
  
'Life in Tragedy and Love'  
'My life was. . .never perfect. My parents got divorced when I was sixteen. After that my mother, sister and I moved to Sunnydale from L.A. Once there I found things I never thought possible. True friends, a real life, and most of all love. I met this guy, William, A.K.A. Spike. I fell madly in love with him and I got pregnant. Got married, got raped, got pregnant, got divorced, and got cancer. You say my life wasn't a good one, well you're dead wrong.'  
  
Buffy finished writing her opening statement to her book and stopped. She decided to first go back and remember everything that happened before putting it in writing.  
Buffy sat on her and Spike's bed thinking of the earliest memory she could think of before she moved here. It was about two years before she moved to Sunnydale, before her parents were divorced. They were on the brink of it, but hadn't made a concrete decision yet.  
  
*Buffy's Memory*  
  
Buffy sat in her bedroom listing to her parents argue. This was very mush a routine for them nowadays. Buffy tried to concentrate and do her homework, but the yelling and slamming doors was to much and Buffy stopped and put on her headphones. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped. She looked and saw her sister.  
"What?" Buffy said, taking off the headphones.  
"Want to play a game?" Dawn asked.  
"No I don't" Buffy said. Buffy was sixteen at the time and Dawn was ten.  
"Oh come on Buffy, please, I'm board" Dawn whined.  
"No, leave me alone" Buffy said and put her headphones back on. Dawn sighed and went over to her side of the room and started playing with her dolls.  
  
*End Buffy's memory*  
  
Buffy felt bad now for being mean to her sister. She couldn't imagine doing that now. She couldn't believe how much Dawn grew up over the last four years. She couldn't believe how much she did. In those four years she had two kids, been divorced, she just couldn't believe it. Spike came up the stairs the two plates in his hands.  
"Here we go, pizza" he said.  
"Ooh pizza yum" Buffy smiled and kissed him.  
"Hey, so, when are we going to get remarried?" Spike asked.  
"When do you want to ?" Buffy asked him, taking a bite of her pizza.  
"As soon as possible" Spike said. "Like in the next couple of days."  
"Okay, what about. . .Saturday?" Buffy suggested.  
"Fine with me, I just want to be married to you again" Spike said and kissed her lightly on the lips.  
"Ditto" Buffy said quietly. "We have to promise each other that we won't let stupid things tear us apart again."  
"Promise" Spike said.  
"Good, me too" Buffy said.  
Saturday came slowly, but surly and Buffy and Spike got ready to go to city hall. They didn't invite anyone. They asked Joyce and Dawn to watch the kids and they went by themselves. They just wanted to be married again. They didn't care who was there. They did the ceremony and then they went home. Joyce wanted to keep the kids overnight so Buffy and Spike had the night to themselves. After getting home Buffy sat down and began writing again.  
  
'My life before Sunnydale was good, for the most part. Even though my parents weren't good to each other they were good to us. Well my mom was anyway. My father, well he, he didn't really life being a father. He never spent time with me or my sister Dawn. It was like we didn't matter, nothing mattered except his alcohol.'  
  
Buffy was interrupted by Spike coming up the stirs with two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine.  
"Here we are luv" he said.  
"Ooh wine, yummy" Buffy said happily.  
"Yeah well this bodes celebration, us getting married again" Spike said and poured two glasses of wine and handed one to Buffy.  
"Thank you" she said and took a sip of it and then kissed Spike. "I love you."  
"I love you too baby" he said. He took the wine glass from her and put his and hers on the table and kissed her passionately. He leaned into her and they laid back on the bed as he left her mouth and trailed down her neck. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep until he reached her spot. The place at the very base of her neck. He began nibbling on it lightly. She moaned quietly and put her hands around him pulling him closer. He trailed the kissed back up her neck and reached her mouth. His tongue slid into her mouth to meet hers. She breathed deep in and then out into his mouth. A moan escaped from deep within his chest as he pulled her closer with one hand. With his free hand he began unbuttoning her sweater.  
Buffy woke the next morning and Spike wasn't there. A piece of paper was lying on the bed next to her. She picked it up and read it. It was from Spike. He told her that he went to work and that he would be home at five, and not to worry, that he would pick up the kids. She got up and decided to write some more, but not about L.A. or her life there. She wanted to write about her life here. The most critical things happened here. It was weird that she spent most of her life in Los Angeles, sixteen years living there, and it wasn't until she moved to Sunnydale that everything started happening. Even though she'd only been here for almost three years, sixteen years worth of things had happened to her. She found that concept kind of ironic. She sat at her computer and began to write the third chapter of her book.  
  
'Moving the Sunnydale was hard for me. I felt like my whole life was being changed and not for the better. Things just didn't make sense. I didn't know why my parents were getting divorced, and why we had to move. I didn't know why my father couldn't of gone. He got to keep the house and my mother, Dawn and I had to move to this weird town. But in the midst of everything that was happening, I didn't see what was transpiring. I was falling in love. It was hard for me to accept though because after what had happened with my parents, I was afraid of love. It scared me to think of my heart in someone else's hands. To depend on someone else. To know that I lived only for them. I didn't want to be that type of person. After tears and mistakes I realized that it was the fear that was keeping me from being happy. I finally broke down. I needed to love. Needed to feel loved. I opened my heart to him and he took it and I was safe. Knowing that fact I felt it. I felt safe, protected. I wanted to feel, feel something. And I did. He has given me so much. A wonder marriage, a beautiful little girl, and a life that wasn't filled with pain and desolation. He has been my savior over the last three years years, and for this I thank him. My husband William Randall Bryson. He is everything in this world that is good and pure. Everything that is safe and warm. And everything that makes you want to get up the next morning. He is my knight in shining armor, my prince.'  
  
Buffy finished writing about Spike and she remembered the last time she had written about him. Her essay for creative writing. She went into her closet and retrieved the essay and compared them. In the last one she was mostly writing about how much she screwed up and how he would probably never love her, but in this one she was writing about how much he has saved her. Made her believe in love. She saved what she had written and put the other essay back in its place. She got out an old photo album and looked it over. Looking at the pictures of her and her family she could feel tears staring to fall. What was she going to do. She would be dead in a few months. She wouldn't see her daughter grow up and have her first date. She wouldn't see her son hit his first homerun. She wouldn't be there for anything. She looked at the prom pictures of her and Spike. It seemed like so long ago. So long ago that she was just a kid. She had had to be an adult for so long that she forgot about childhood. Forgot about adolescence. She just focused on what was important. Her family, her friends, her husband, her daughter and son. Nothing else mattered to her. Nothing could. She just wanted them to be okay. Honestly she didn't care what happened to her, as long as they were okay. As long as they were safe and happy and content she didn't care. 


	52. Terrified

OKAY, THERE IS A BIG SHOCKER IN THIS CHAPTER! R/R  
  
A month passed and Buffy had been ill on and off. Now she sits looking in the mirror. Today was her birthday. She was getting ready for the big party. She was twenty-one today. She couldn't wait to go. The party was being held at her mother's house. She felt good today; she had a good feeling in her heart. She finished putting on her makeup and went over to the full-length mirror to look herself over. She was wearing a pair of light gray pants, with pockets on the hip of the pants and also the legs of the pants. She had on a maroon colored peasant top, which was see through. Under that she had on a maroon spaghetti strapped tank top. Her hair was curled and put up in a high ponytail with some pieces curled around her face. She looked beautiful. Spike came up the stairs to check on her and was mesmerized by the sight of his wife.  
"Wow, baby you look amazing" Spike said.  
"Thank you" Buffy smiled and he kissed her.  
"Are you ready to go?" Spike asked.  
"Uh-huh, let's get Robbie and Charley and leave" Buffy said. They got the kids and went over to Joyce's house.  
"Hi honey" Joyce greeted her daughter. "Happy birthday."  
"Thanks" Buffy said and entered the house. Joyce took Robbie from Buffy and Buffy sat down. Joyce and Spike set up the kids' playpen and set them in it. Dawn came down the stairs.  
"Buffy, hi" she said happily and hugged her.  
"Hey sweetie" Buffy said.  
"So, are you happy to be twenty-one?" Dawn asked.  
"Sure, seeing as how I'm not going to make it to twenty-two it's a hoot" Buffy joked. Dawn, Joyce and Spike got serious looks on their faces.  
"Guys I'm just kidding all right" Buffy said.  
"It's not funny" Dawn said quietly.  
"I'm sorry" Buffy said. Suddenly the doorbell rang and Joyce answered it. It was Willow and Oz.  
Pretty soon everyone was there and it was time for cake. The presents were opened and Buffy loved them all. They had cake and talked, though no one really knew what to say. It was so tense these days. No one knew when Buffy was going to go. They all were so scared that they were going to wake up and she wasn't going to be there. They all called her every morning to make sure she was okay.  
The party ended abruptly when Buffy wasn't feeling so well and wanted to go home. They got all of the presents and the kids together and left. Spike helped Buffy upstairs after putting the kids to bed.  
"Here you go baby, just rest" Spike said, tucking her in.  
"Thank you" Buffy said. He kissed her and went to leave. Spike."  
"Yeah baby?" he asked, turning back around.  
"Can you stay here, can you hold me" she asked.  
"Of course" he said and got into bed with her and held her. She was shaking. "Baby you're shaking."  
"I just don't feel well, I don't know what's wrong" Buffy said.  
"Tomorrow I'm taking you to the doctor" Spike said. "Just rest now."  
"Okay" she said weakly and closed her eyes.  
Spike woke the next morning at eight o'clock. He shifted a little before opening his eyes. the sun was shining high in the sky. He was no longer holding onto Buffy. He looked over to her side and a sharp pain hit him in his chest. She was lying there, very still, very pale, her eyes open.  
"Buffy? Buffy come on, Buffy!" Spike said shaking her in panic. "No, no come on baby not now , come on." She tilted her head back to see if she was breathing, and she wasn't. "Oh god no, Buffy, Buffy!" he put his mouth on hers and breathed two big breaths into her mouth and then put his hands under her ribcage and pushed hard fifteen times. After repeating this process three times and nothing happening he grabbed the phone and called 911.  
"Hello 911, what is your emergency?" the operator asked.  
"Uh, h-hi my wife she isn't breathing" Spike said manically.  
"Okay, did you try CPR?" the operator asked.  
"Yes, it isn't working!" Spike yelled in desperation and began to cry. "Buffy baby come one please don't leave me."  
"Okay, I'm sending an ambulance right now, what is your address?" the woman asked.  
"Uh, 4-4706 Sycamore Drive, hurry!" Spike said.  
"Okay, an ambulance is coming, they should be there very soon, just calm down" the woman said.  
"Oh god baby come on, please baby, please" Spike pleaded.  
"Okay, check her pulse, does she have a pulse?" the woman asked. Spike put his index and middle finger on her wrist and felt nothing. He did the same, but on her neck and still nothing.  
"No! Oh god there's no pulse, hurry!" Spike said. Suddenly he heard the ambulance coming down the street and hung up the phone and ran downstairs to meet them. He led them inside and up the stairs.  
'How long she been like this?" one paramedic asked.  
"Uh, I-I don't know, I woke up a-at nine a-and I found her, oh god please save her" Spike said, feeling sick. The paramedics hooked her up to a heart monitor and began CPR. They then put an oxygen tub in her mouth to pump air into her.  
"Let's get her in the ambulance" the other paramedic said.  
"Okay, you coming?" the guy said.  
"Yes" Spike said. "Once second." He ran over to the neighbors and asked if they could watch the kids and they agreed and Spike got into the ambulance and they quickly drove away.  
"Come on, breath, breath" the girl said. They kept pumping and pumping and finally.  
"Hhh!" Buffy gasped and coughed.  
"Oh god, Buffy" Spike said.  
"I. . .I. . .what. . ." Buffy tried to say, but she was too weak.  
"Shhh" Spike said.  
"We got her, we got her stabilized" the guy said. They drove to the hospital and the doctors rushed her into a room. They hooked her up to a bunch of monitors to track her heartbeat and pulse. Spike wasn't allowed to see her right away, but about an hour later he was permitted to go inside.  
"Hey baby" he said quietly and teary eyed.  
"Hi" she said, also in a quiet voice.  
"If you ever scare me like that again, there will be hell to pay you here me" Spike said and stroked her hair. Buffy chuckled at that.  
"Did you call everyone, mom, Dawn?" she asked.  
"No, oh god, I wasn't even thinking, I'll call them now, are you going to be okay alone?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah, just don't be gone to lone" Buffy said.  
"Promise" Spike said and left. He was gone only a few minutes and returned. The others rushed to the hospital and into her room. It was like they all arrived at the same time.  
"Hi, oh sweetie how are you feeling?" Joyce asked and kissed Buffy on the head  
"Okay, considering" Buffy said.  
"Of course" Joyce said. Dawn came over and laid in bed with Buffy. She was crying slightly.  
"I thought I lost you" she said quietly.  
"Can't get rid of me that easy" Buffy said and put her arm around Dawn to hold her. She stroked Dawn's hair slowly.  
"Buff you nearly gave us all heart attacks" Xander said.  
"Yeah thank god for the doctors" Oz said.  
"Thank god for Spike, if he hadn't started CPR when he had I probably would have died" Buffy said. All of them looked at her with fear, worry and sadness. None of them knew, what's to come, they couldn't even begin. 


	53. Unraveling

HEY! DID I SCARE YOU? HA, HA! ANYWAY HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER. PLEASE R/R!  
  
Buffy was released from the hospital a week later. She had asked the doctor to try to operate. To try to get it all. After what had happened she realized how much she didn't want to die, not that she did before, but it was so clear to her now. She couldn't leave. The doctor had scheduled an appointment for an ultrasound in the next week. Today was that day. Buffy's heart was pounding as she finished getting dressed. She hoped so much that it didn't spread too much. They said it had spread to some places, but they didn't tell her which ones. If it spread to things they could take out then she would be okay. Spike came up the stairs with his freshly ironed shirt. "Hey baby" she said. "Hey" he said back. "You're sister's here so we can go." "Okay" she said. "Nervous?" he asked. "Muchly" she said and faced him. "I just hope that. . .I'll be okay, is that selfish?" "Of course not Baby, everyone is hoping that you'll be all right" Spike said.  
"Okay, let's go" Buffy said. Spike put on his shirt and shoes and they went downstairs.  
'Dawn, thanks for watching the kids for me" Buffy said.  
"No problem, just come back with some good news" Dawn said.  
"Here's to hoping" Buffy said and she and Spike left.  
Buffy and Spike arrived at the doctor's office a while later and Buffy's heart was pounding even more. She gripped Spike's hand as the entered the clinic.  
"Just sit baby, I'll sign you in," Spike said and Buffy sat. Spike told the secretary that they were here and a bit later Buffy was called back. Once in her room they wheeled her into the ultrasound room.  
"Hello Buffy, I'm Dr. Talon" the dr. said.  
"Hi" Buffy said nervously.  
"Okay, we're going to see how far the tumor spread and hopefully we can control it" the Dr. Talon said.  
"Okay" Buffy agreed. The doctor put the gel on Buffy's stomach and used the camera-like thingy to look. Buffy was too scared to look. The doctor took some pictures then dried the gel off Buffy and they wheeled her back to her room. Buffy's doctor came in a while later.  
"Okay, Buffy we got the pictures," he said.  
"A-and?" Buffy asked, afraid of his answer.  
"It's good news, very good news, the tumor has spread, but not to an extant that we can't get it" the doctor said.  
"You can operate?" Buffy asked.  
"Yes, it's spread to the gal bladder and spleen, both of which can be removed, you don't need them to live" the doctor said.  
"Oh. . .oh thank god" Buffy said. She wanted to scream with happiness. "When?"  
"We can schedule it for tomorrow" he told her.  
"Okay" Buffy said. Spike wasn't allowed to go in the ultrasound room with her so he went out for something to drink and he came back into the room.  
"Hey, so do they know yet?" Spike asked, he could feel his hand shaking.  
"Yes, they can operate!" Buffy almost screamed with joy. Spike's eyes lit up, more than Buffy had ever seen. He took her up in his arms and spun her around. After placing her back on the floor he kissed her, with more passion than they had had in a long time.  
"You have no idea how. . .how fortunate I feel right now" he said, smiling.  
"Me too" Buffy smiled. He kissed her again, and again, and again. They both felt good about this. They knew that she'd be okay. They couldn't wait to tell everyone the great news.  
Buffy had everyone over her and Spike's house that very day. Since the operation was tomorrow at 10:00 in the morning Buffy wanted to inform them now.  
"So honey, what did the doctor say?" Joyce asked.  
"They. . .they did an ultrasound and confirmed that. . .they can operate, they said that I have the greatest chance of anybody they had ever seen, and most of those people with less chance than I have survive and go on to live normal healthy lives" Buffy informed them. Everyone in the room suddenly smiled. They all rushed her at once, all piling on her and hugged her. "Okay losing oxygen here." They all got off her, except for Dawn. She sat on Buffy's lap cuddling her.  
"Buffy that's. . .that's. . .amazing" Joyce said smiling.  
"Yeah Buff, it's the best news we could of gotten" Xander said.  
"I am so happy you're going to be okay" Dawn said embracing Buffy. Buffy put her arms around her little sister and hugged her and kissed her on the top of her head. Their faces were no longer filled with sadness. They were all content. Buffy felt a warm glow come over her and then. . .suddenly she stopped breathing.  
  
Hehe! Just kidding, god I wish I could have seen you're faces!  
  
OKAY SO BUFFY'S GOING TO BE OKAY RIGHT? I GUESS YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO READ THE NEXT CHAPTER TO FIND OUT. OH AND BY THE WAY I'M PUTTING UP A NEW STORY FOR THOSE WHO ARE INTERESTED. IT'S CALLED RISE OF SEDUCTION AND WHEN I GET THE FIRST CHAPTER UP I'LL POST IT. I WANT TO TAKE A POLL.  
  
WHICH BOYFRIEND SHOULD BUFFY DUMP FOR SPIKE:  
  
RILEY, ANGEL, SCOTT, PARKER, OR SHOULD I MAKE UP MY OWN? E-MAIL ME AND  
TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!  
  
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! 


	54. Woven

Buffy laid in the recovery room. She had gotten her operation and it had gone perfectly. She was just waking up now and everyone was in the room to greet her.  
"Hey baby" Spike said quietly.  
"Hi" Buffy said. "Did the surgery go well?"  
"Very well honey, they said it went without a glitch," Joyce said. Buffy smiled.  
"So they got it all?" Buffy asked.  
"All of it pet, they had to remove the gal bladder and the spleen, but you knew that, you're going to fine" Spike said and kissed her on the forehead.  
"Oh. . .good" Buffy said and closed her eyes. She was still rather tied from the anesthesia they gave her.  
"Sweetie we're so happy you're okay" Cordelia said.  
"Yeah it's like the biggest relief in the world," Willow said.  
"Buffy, I brought you Mr. Gordo" Dawn said. Buffy smiled at her baby sister.  
"Thanks sweetie" Buffy said and took him from her.  
"And also some flowers" Dawn said.  
"Thank you, where are Robbie and Charley?" Buffy asked.  
"They're at the neighbor's, I'll go get them a little later" Spike said.  
"Okay" Buffy said.  
"We should go and let you rest sweetheart," Joyce said.  
"No, I don't want to be alone, please" Buffy said. Spike leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips.  
"Okay baby, we won't go anywhere," he said.  
"Kay" she smiled.  
"Okay honey we won't leave, but I'm going to go get some coffee, anyone else want?" Joyce asked.  
"I'll come with" Willow said and kissed Buffy on the forehead. "Be back."  
"I'll go too," Cordelia said.  
"Maybe we should all go, leave the Buffster and Spike to have some alone time" Xander said and kissed Buffy on the head. Everyone but Buffy and Spike left.  
"Will you hold me?" Buffy asked her husband.  
"Of course" he said. He climbed in bed with her and she snuggled up to him.  
"I love you so much" she said.  
"I love you too baby" he whispered and kissed her on the forehead.  
  
**********************  
Spike opened the door to his and Buffy's house. He helped her in and helped her to the couch.  
"Okay baby, I'll be right back okay, I'm going to put Robbie and Charley to bed" Spike said. "Hey bit, will you help me?"  
"Sure" Dawn said and took Charlotte and she and Spike went upstairs.  
"It feels so good to be home," Buffy said.  
"Here honey, lie down" Joyce said. Buffy laid down and Joyce covered her up with a blanket. "I'll go get you a pillow, or two, do you want two?"  
"Sure, thanks mom" Buffy said. Joyce smiled and went upstairs. Xander, Willow, Cordelia and Oz looked at each other uncomfortably.  
"So. . ." Cordelia said.  
"So uh. . ." Xander said.  
"Guys is something wrong?" Buffy asked.  
"Nothing sweetie we just. . .we. . .just" Willow tried to say.  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
"We're just worried. . .about you" Oz said.  
"I'm fine you guys, what. . .what are you worried about?" Buffy asked.  
"I don't know, we don't know, we just. . .we love you and we don't want to lose you" Cordelia said.  
"Don't, you're going to make me worried, I am fine I promise" Buffy said.  
"Okay, we promise not to worry if you promise not to give us a reason to worry" Willow said and kneeled beside Buffy.  
"I promise" Buffy said. Willow kissed her on her forehead.  
"I'm sorry honey I should go, the neighbors are watching Taylor" Willow said.  
"Yeah, we'll talk to you tomorrow okay Buffy" Oz said and took her hand and kissed it.  
"Okay, drive safe" Buffy said.  
"I should go too" Cordelia said and kissed Buffy on the cheek and hugged her.  
"Me too Buff, sorry, tomorrow though" Xander said and kissed her on the forehead.  
"Bye you guys" Buffy said. They all left and Spike, Dawn and Joyce came down the stairs.  
"Where did everybody go?" Joyce asked.  
"Home, they're tired, can't blame them, it's been a hard day, it's been a hard year" Buffy said. Joyce gave Buffy the pillows.  
"Well sweetie, I don't want to, but we have to go too, Dawnie has school and I have the gallery showing tomorrow so I'll talk to you tomorrow some time okay" Joyce said.  
"Okay, I love you mom, you too Dawnie" Buffy said.  
"Love you too Buffy" Dawn said.  
"I love you sweetie, goodnight" Joyce said and she and Dawn left. Spike came and sat at one end of the couch and Buffy laid her head on his lap.  
"I am so exhausted, I just. . .don't know how I survived all of this and I don't mean because I was sick, I just don't know how I found the strength" Buffy said.  
"You're strong that's how, I knew you could" Spike said.  
"I look back at everything, moving here, meeting you, getting pregnant, getting married, getting raped, getting pregnant, getting divorced, getting cancer-" Buffy named off her list.  
"Surviving" Spike said, stopping her. "You survived all of the bad things Buffy, you survived death, now how many people can say that? You are the strongest person I have ever met, where other people would give up, you kept fighting, I can't tell you how proud of you I am. . .you're my hero." Buffy eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Spike. She sat up and kissed him. "I love you."  
"Prove it" she whispered with a smirk. He picked her up and carried her upstairs into their bedroom and shut the door.  
  
*Ten Years Later*  
  
Buffy sat in the office of her law firm looking over papers for a case. She had been working late for the past three nights trying to get this case ready. Since her operation she had been perfectly healthy and Spike and Buffy had had two more children. Two girls, Sarah and Janelle.  
"Knock, knock" Spike said as he came into her office with a bag and two cups of coffee.  
"Hi honey" Buffy smiled. "This is a nice surprise.'  
"Yeah well" he said and kissed her. "I thought that you needed some food since you've been working your ass off on this case."  
"Thank you, you're very sweet" Buffy said.  
"So, when are you coming home?" Spike asked and took a drink off the coffee. Buffy unwrapped the one of the burgers that was in the bag and took a bite of it.  
"As soon as I'm done" she said.  
"And when will that be?" he asked.  
"I don't know, I just want this case to go perfectly, I want to win" Buffy said.  
"Baby you've won almost every case you've had" Spike said. "And eight years is a long time."  
"Well if I want to be the next Johnny Cochran I have to win them all" Buffy said.  
"Well even Johnny Cochran got some sleep every once in a while" Spike said.  
"Okay, all right I promise, once this case is over I will take it easy for a while, maybe we could go on vacation" Buffy said.  
"That's a great idea, you, me, the kids, it'll be great" Spike said.  
"But I have to finish this case" Buffy said. Spike frowned, but gave up. He took the bag with his burger in it.  
"Okay, you do your thing, I'll be waiting at home for you" he said and kissed her and walked towards the door. "I love you."  
"I love you too baby" she said. He left and Buffy went over to her desk where there was a pile of unopened mail. She flipped through it and stopped when she came to a letter from Miller. She opened it and it read.  
  
Dear Buffy,  
  
Well life didn't exactly turn out the way I wanted. I met you, wanted you, had you, and went to jail. I guess I deserved it. I just wanted to apologize for what I did to you. I'm out of prison now, I promise that you'll never hear from you again, I'm sorry  
  
Sincerely,  
Miller  
  
Buffy sat at her desk and put down the letter. She had forgotten all about Miller. Was he telling the truth? Was he really going to leave her alone? She really hoped so. Her life was so great and she didn't want anything, or anyone to ruin it. She rubbed her eyes. she was really tired. She decided to finish the cast tomorrow. She got up and went outside and there standing before her was Spike.  
"I knew you'd be out soon, you can't resist me," Spike said.  
"I got a letter from Miler" Buffy said.  
"What? What did he say?" Spike asked.  
"Just that, he would stay away from me, he got out of prison two years ago" Buffy said.  
"Are you okay?" he asked.  
"Yeah, I'm fine, let's go home" Buffy said and took Spike's hand. Buffy grabbed her purse and took a look at the family picture hanging on the wall before shutting the door and leaving.  
  
THE END  
  
HEY! SO THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER. MAYBE I'LL WRITE AN EPILOGUE OR SOMETHING. ANYWAY IF YOU THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA THEN E-MAIL ME AND TELL ME. THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT YOU GUYS. ANYWAY PLEASE R/R! 


	55. Life in tragedy and love

OKAY, I KNOW THAT THE LAST PART OF THE STORY WAS KIND OF LIKE A EPILOGUE, BUT THIS IS JUST ANOTHER I GUESS, ENJOY!  
  
Life in Tragedy and Love ~ Chapter One  
  
'My life was. . .never perfect. My parents got divorced when I was sixteen. After that my mother, sister and I moved to Sunnydale from L.A. Once there I found things, I never thought possible. True friends, a real life, and most of all love. I met this guy, William, A.K.A. Spike. I fell madly in love with him and I got pregnant. Got married, got raped, got pregnant, got divorced, and got cancer. You say my life wasn't a good one, well you're dead wrong.' ` "She's Thirty-one, a mother of four and her poignant life story has touched us all. With the release of her book, Life in tragedy and Love, she has became the town's hit, welcoming for her first pre book signing conference, Elizabeth Anne Bryson" the announcer said. Buffy walked up to the table, reporters' cameras flashing away.  
"Hello, thank you all for coming" Buffy said.  
"Mrs. Bryson, the chapter you wrote in here about Miller Banks says that he raped you and went to prison for it, now that he's out has he harassed you?" a reporter asked.  
"No, I haven't heard from Miller for ten years and I hope I never do" Buffy replied.  
"Mrs. Bryson, after twelve years of marriage, are you as much in love with your husband as you were at age eighteen?" another reporter asked.  
"Yes, I have always loved Spike and I always will, even when we were divorced" Buffy said.  
"Is there anytime you wished that you were still in L.A. and not here?" another asked.  
"No. . .well when I first moved here I wanted to go back, but there's no Spike there, no Charlotte, Robbie, Sarah or MacKayah, Willow, Cordy, Oz, Xander, my life is here" Buffy said.  
"So you're happy?" the girl asked.  
"Yes, very" Buffy said.  
"Does writing this life story make you regret anything, I mean do you look at your son and see Miller, or do you regret how your life went over the last twelve years?" another reporter asked.  
"I guess everyone wants to change things about their life. Everyone has that one desire, that one thing they never got to have" Buffy said.  
"What's yours?" the reported asked.  
"I regret. . .waking up and not wanting to be in my skin, not wanting to be me, before I moved to Sunnydale things were bad. My parents never got along, I never had a father figure in my life, I guess I would change that if I could" Buffy said.  
"Do you still love your son even though he belongs to Miller?" a reporter asked.  
"Yes, my family is the most important thing to me, and I love my son very much, Spike and I do" Buffy said.  
"What about your friends, your family, if you could give them one piece of advice, what would it be?" another reporter asked.  
"If I gave them one piece of advice, that I would want them to follow, I'd tell them that. . .it isn't the time you spend doing things, it's what you accomplish when you're doing them, don't be somewhere just to be there, have a purpose, I mean there's a point in everything, it's your job to find it" Buffy said.  
"Do you think you have?" another reporter asked.  
"I think I have, thirteen years and four kids later it. . .it all seems to come out, you just have to look for it, you have to know where to look" Buffy said.  
"And what is it that you looked for?" the reporter asked.  
"Life. . .in tragedy and love" Buffy said with a smile.  
"Mrs. Bryson" a familiar voice said. Buffy looked slightly to the left and Miller came out of the crowd. Buffy's first instinct was to run, but she didn't. "Is it possible to forgive a crime that has devastated you, if the person who committed that crime has forever regretted it?"  
"Some things don't deserved to be forgiven" Buffy said plainly. "No matter how sorry the person is."  
"People change Buffy," he said, coming right up to the stage.  
"Doesn't mean they deserve second chances," Buffy said, turning off her microphone.  
"Can we talk, in private?" Miller asked. Buffy looked around. The reporters had gone quiet. They knew exactly whom Miller was, and were very intrigued.  
"Last time you pulled that line in ended in rape, do you not remember that?" Buffy asked sarcastically.  
"I'm not going to hurt you," he said.  
"No, you're not" she said and began to walk off the stage. He quickly climbed the stairs to the stage and grabbed her arm. She gasped.  
"Do you think I'd actually try to pull something in front of a crowd of people?" he whispered.  
"No, you prefer quiet places, places where no one's around don't you" she said coldly.  
"I want to see my son," he said.  
"What? Are you kidding? There is no way I am going to-" Buffy began.  
"I have a right to see my son," he said.  
"No, you don't, you raped me, okay, you took me without my permission, and yes I conceived a child, and that is the only thing that I don't hate about this" Buffy said.  
"He's a part of me," Miller said.  
"No he's not, he's a good boy, he's sweet, he's. . .nothing like you" Buffy said and walked off the stage. The reporters started talking at once, trying to get both Miller and Buffy attention. Buffy left the room and Miller followed. Spike wasn't there. He had to work, but right now, she wished so much that he was there with her. No one was allowed in the conference room except the reporters. Buffy's family was allowed to sit in another room and watch it on TV. All of this was live on television. When Buffy walked out of the room her mom, sister, children and friends were waiting for her.  
"Buffy" Miller said.  
"You stay away from her, come on sweetie" Joyce said and led Buffy out of the building.  
"I just want to talk" he called after them. Dawn turned to him.  
"Go to hell" she said coldly and walked off with everyone else.  
Buffy and the rest of the gang arrived at Buffy and Spike's house a little later.  
"Mommy who was that?" MacKayah asked.  
"Uh, no one honey, just someone who mommy doesn't like very much" Buffy told the six year old.  
"Are you okay Mommy?" Sarah asked.  
"Yeah sweetie I'm fine" Buffy told her. Sarah was four.  
"Are you sure?" Dawn asked.  
"Yeah, what time is it?" Buffy asked.  
"Uh. . .four-thirty" Willow said, looking at her watch.  
"Good, Spike will be home soon" Buffy said.  
"I can't believe he had the nerve to come and try to talk to you after what he did to you" Cordelia said.  
"Yeah, well Miller's not much for the rationality" Buffy said. "I don't know what he wanted, but I certainly don't trust him."  
"What was he saying to you, you two were talking so low at first that I didn't hear?" Dawn asked.  
"He wants to see Robbie" Buffy said.  
"You're not going to let him are you?" Joyce asked.  
"Of course not, he is not coming anywhere near my son" Buffy said.  
"Hey guys I'm h-" Spike began, but stopped when he saw everyone's faces. "What's wrong?"  
"Honey I need to talk to you, in private" Buffy said.  
"Okay, sure" he said. She took his hand and led him to the kitchen.  
"Okay, um, well you know that I had that book conference today" Buffy said.  
"Yeah, did it go well?" he asked.  
"Uh, yeah, I it went fine, but. . .Miller was there" Buffy said.  
"What? Did he hurt you? Did he-" Spike began asking.  
"No, I'm fine, he was just. . ." Buffy said and then chuckled. "He asked me to forgive him."  
"Are you okay" he asked, Buffy sighed.  
"Yeah, fine, I just. . .don't want to deal with it" she said and he hugged her.  
"Yeah well you shouldn't have to" he said.  
"He said he wanted to see Robbie" Buffy said, Spike broke away from the hug.  
"You didn't grant permission to that wanker did you?" he asked.  
"No honey of course not" Buffy said.  
"Good because, it doesn't matter who conceived him, he's my son" Spike said, Buffy smiled and kissed him.  
"Don't worry about it baby" she said. "He is not going to come anywhere near Robbie."  
"Good. . .so. . .how did the conference go, did they ask a lot of questions?" Spike asked.  
"Yeah, but I don't mind, I'm glad people are interested" Buffy said.  
"Well it's a great book pet, of course they would be" Spike said. Buffy smiled at him. "You sure you're okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine" Buffy said.  
"Good" Spike said and kissed her. They went out into the living room where everyone else was.  
"Everything okay?" Willow asked.  
"Fine" Buffy said.  
"Good" Xander stated. "I should go, work, Buff, congratulations." With that, he kissed her on the cheek and left.  
"Us too sweetie, bye" Willow said and took Taylor's hand. Oz and Willow had only had one child. Cordelia and Xander were still not together and only had one child.  
"Bye guys, bye Tay" Buffy said.  
"Bye aunt Buffy, bye uncle Spike" Taylor said, then they left.  
"Well, ditto to me guys, see ya" Cordelia said and her and Gracie left. Soon it was only Joyce, Dawn, Spike and Buffy and their children. Since Buffy's operation, Dawn had gotten married and had two children, twins Mylie and Michael. They were with their father at home.  
"Okay honey, I have to go to the store, so I will talk to you later okay" Dawn said and hugged and kissed Buffy and then hugged Spike. "Bye."  
"Bye nibblit" Spike said.  
"Bye Dawnie" Buffy said.  
Soon Joyce said bye too and left. Buffy made dinner, they ate and went to bed. *Buffy's Dream*  
  
Buffy was sleeping soundly, dreaming of good things. She alarm went off and she turned over to turn it off and there standing was Miller.  
"You'll never get away from me" he said in a scary tone and came at her.  
  
*End Buffy's Dream*  
  
Buffy woke suddenly with a gasp. As she did, Spike did also.  
"Honey what's wrong?" he asked.  
"Nothing I just. . .I had a nightmare that's all" Buffy said.  
"Are you okay?" he asked.  
"Yeah, I'm fine" she said. He put his arm around her and they both laid back down together. Buffy had a little trouble falling back asleep, but she finally did.  
Buffy woke the next morning and went downstairs and sat on the balcony, just watching the sun coming up. No one else was up yet. She just wanted to be alone for a while. Seeing Miller again meant something. Everything happened for a reason. Did this mean that she was meant to forgive him. She was an easygoing person, she could forgive most people, but not him, not for this. She sighed and looked towards the rising sun. 'God what does this mean?' she asked herself. Suddenly the phone began to ring and she got up and answered it.  
"Hello?" she said.  
"Buffy" Miller said.  
"What the hell do you want?" she asked harshly.  
"You know what I want" she said.  
"Leave me and my family alone" Buffy told him.  
"I just want to see my son" Miller said.  
"You don't have a son, the only son I have belongs to me and Spike, I'm hanging up now" she said and began to hang up.  
"Wait, you know Buffy if I wanted to I could make your life very miserable" he said.  
"Are you threatening me?" she asked.  
"I'm just saying" he said.  
"You know what, I'm going to the police today and getting a restraining order against you, I'm getting my number changed, unlisted, if you don't leave me alone I'll have you arrested" Buffy said.  
"I just want forgiveness Buffy" he stated.  
"You raped me, there is no forgiving that" she said.  
"Look I did that because-" he commenced.  
"Because you're a self-important creep with too much time on your hands and a big fantasy obsession in which would never happen even if hell froze over?" Buffy offered emphasizing the 'if'.  
"I wanted you" he stated plainly.  
"Yeah well, with your sexual predator profile out now, you're going to be wanting a lot of women you can't have, it's over Miller, I don't want to hear from you ever again do you hear me? Ever" Buffy said and hung up the phone.  
"Do you really think it's that easy?" he asked, emerging from behind a bush.  
"What the hell?" she asked, frightened.  
"You don't have to be afraid, I'm not going to-" he began.  
"To what? Hurt me? Too late, leave or I'm calling the police" she said.  
"I just want to talk" insisted.  
"We're done talking, I don't trust you, and I never should have, now leave" she said. He began to come toward her. "Spike!" she called loudly.  
"Okay, okay I'm going, look Buffy I just want to apologize okay, I'm sorry, really all I want is an absolution, that's all" he said.  
"Miller" she said quietly and sweetly, and then she leaned closer to him and quieted her voice even more to a whisper. "Go to hell." With that, he turned and left. Spike came down right after.  
"Baby? Is everything okay?" he asked.  
"Yeah, it is now" she said.  
"You're sure?" he asked.  
"Absolutely" she said and they went inside together. Miller waked along the sidewalk thinking. He gave up, he didn't want to go to jail again. He would just leave her alone. If she wanted to change her mind one day then she would, otherwise he'd stay away.  
"What happened out on that balcony? Did Miller come, because if he did-" Spike began.  
"Honey it's okay, I promise, he's not coming back, ever" Buffy assured.  
"How do you know?" Spike asked.  
"Believe me, he won't" Buffy said. She took his hand and they went upstairs together and back to bed. After thirteen years and four kids, things seemed so much clearer. As if Buffy's eyes were more open, like she was more aware of everything going on around her. It was like being a wife and mother made her stronger, and she had to be. After everything she went through, she sort of hardened herself a little. She didn't let the little things in to bother her. It just wasn't significant anymore. Things didn't bother her as they used to. She had to be strong for her children. They needed her more than anyone. She wanted to be strong for them. Her life changed a great deal over the last thirteen years of her life and she was better for it. 'And for me it was over. All the pain and torment was gone. I had survived cancer, I had pushed passed everything that was thrown in my way. People looked at me differently, like I wasn't me. Like someone had crawled in my body and taken over. Feelings bled together for a while, but I never lost total control of what I was feeling. My head was on straight, and I was headed in the right direction. It wasn't the route I was taking, it was just that. . .i was rotating the wrong way I guess. Things seemed to twist the opposite way I intended them. Nevertheless, in the end I realized that my life had turned out pretty well. I had the love of my life, my children, my friends, my mother and sister. Nothing in this world was going to stop me, and nothing will.' 


End file.
